According to a student in my freshman comp. class, the Highland Street pedestrian underpass near the AME building on the UA campus stinks to high heaven due to (as far as we know) unknown causes. Take caution if travelling to that area.

I like the Phoenix New Times. Usually. And I am highly appreciative of the fact that the paper has recently taken a very critical look at Gov. Janet Napolitano. That's awesome.

However, in at least one case, the paper has gone too far.

In "The Bird" (Nov. 2), writer Stephen Lemons delved into something that's admittedly much talked-about, albeit rarely in the media: The governor's sexual orientation. I'll let you read the column for yourself, but here's my summary: Lemons basically makes a bunch of butch-woman jokes (he calls Napolitano "Manet"), leaps to the conclusion that Napolitano's probably a lesbian, and caps the column by recounting how he asked her about her orientation during a press conference, citing the fact that she's on the record opposing gay marriage as a justification.

There are a lot of revealing tidbits in the column. I think it's great Lemons exposed the lapdog quality of some Capitol media members. And he gets points for being willing to put in print questions about Napolitano's sexual orientation that—let's face it—are rampant.

But after thinking a LOT about this column—a LOT—I have to say I don't care for it.

First off, Lemons—in an attempt to be snarky and amusing—crosses the line into being mean. I am in favor of snarkiess, of using profanity, even justified name-calling. But he goes way, way too far here. He comes off as sexist and anti-lesbian—I don't know why he just didn't come out and use the term "dyke"—and, in the process, masks what are some valid points.

The biggest flaw in his column, however, is the fact that he basically leaps to the conclusion that Napolitano's a lesbian, without citing any evidence—other than the fact that she's single and manly. While some in the gay community are opposed to outing people, when it comes to public figures and hypocrisy, I am not, and Lemons' point—it would be hypocritical for a lesbian to oppose same-sex marriage, presumably for political purposes—is right on, except for the fact that he produces no proof or even hard evidence that Napolitano is a lesbian. All he has is the fact that Napolitano is unmarried and butch.

Is it possible Napolitano is a lesbian? Sure. If so, is it appropriate to hold her feet to the fire for opposing gay marriage? Yes. (Although one can be lesbian and opposed to gay marriage, I suppose.) But until Lemons—or anyone else—comes up with proof that Napolitano's a lesbian, we have to take her word for it that she's not, don't we? After all, being manly and single does not make a woman gay. And to say so is wrong.

The Bird deserves to be plucked for this piece. And it's a shame, because in between the nastiness and the unsubstantiated assumptions are some really good points that need to be made.

I received some press releases that were either too late for my deadline or not really food-related. However, they're worthy and some ways to give back this Thanksgiving.

This week (through Nov. 17) El Rio Foundation and COPE are seeking sweatshirts, hats, socks, gloves and other warm apparel in all sizes (including for children) plus sleeping bags and blankets to help keep the homeless warm. Please drop off clothing between today and Nov. 17 from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the El Rio Broadway Clinic at 1101 E. Broadway Blvd. On Nov. 17 from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., there will be a cookout in the parking lot to feed the hungry and homeless. To find out how you can get involved, call 624-7750.

According to the Tucson Planning Council for the Homeless, there are about 4,000 people who lack a permanent address, with about 40 percent women and children.

At Primavera Foundation, they need men's socks, coats, underwear, and canned goods, turkeys or hams. Please contact 623-5111, ext. 102 to donate.

More than six years ago, I moved to Tucson and had only lived here two months when I realized that I was going to be alone on Thanksgiving. I only knew two local people, but they were going to be out of town, and I was getting really depressed over it. So on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving I decided to volunteer somewhere serving or cooking a Thanksgiving meal. I must've called eight places, and nobody needed any volunteers—which further threw me into depression. The only organization that said I could help was to be a Salvation Army bell ringer outside of Walgreens. I thought that too lonely of a pursuit and passed.

In the end, a friend called from Los Angeles on Wednesday morning and said she wanted to drive to Tucson. I ran out to buy some Thanksgiving fixings to make. I guess the moral of the story is whether you're having a celebration or a simple meal, invite someone who might otherwise be alone.

The other moral of the story is don't wait until the day before to do your Thanksgiving shopping.

I spent a portion of Saturday afternoon with Mrs. B. on the Open Studio Tour, visiting a variety of local artists, including those in the Historic Steinfeld Warehouse.

Now comes word that those folks (Dinnerware, Alamo Woodworkers, Chax Press, Elizabeth Criger, Mary Theresa Dietz, Cynthia Miller) and the tenants in the Zee Gallery Warehouse are being ordered out by ADoT by Jan. 15. Why? So the city can take over the buildings and fix them up for the artists to move back in.

How long will this take? It's evidently anyone's guess, since the city doesn't have the funds to do the restoration work. Moving sale, anyone?

It's official: The Tucson Weekly has joined the MySpace community.

It wasn't as easy as it should have been. It turns out some turd had reserved www.myspace.com/tucsonweekly, and would not respond to requests for him/her/it to give the account up. Therefore, the awesome Veronica Bonfiglio asked MySpace to delete the account and give it to us.

MySpace did just that, and last week, we took over the account. Then, another MySpace department—which had also received Veronica's request, and which didn't realize we had already been awarded the account—promptly deleted the account to give it to us. So, this morning, Veronica started all over again.

Anyway, our MySpace page is in its infancy, but watch it for events updates, promotions and all sorts of cool stuff. Check it out!

-- The ballot counting continues at the pace of a drunken, amputee snail, and nothing has changed. But I have a question: Why in the hell is this taking so long?

-- Why in the hell is the Star giving precious editorial space to drivel about the late Ed Bradley? There's no Tucson angle here. There's nothing new here that has not been covered in almost every other news outlet in the freakin' world.

-- Also, is it news that John McCain may run for president? NO, IT IS NOT. HE'S ALREADY BEEN RUNNING FOR A FREAKIN' YEAR. And remember: The next time someone refers to McCain as a "moderate," punch them. He's about as right-wing as they come.

Driving down Broadway Boulevard just now, I noticed that the sign at Roses and More was asking Democrats to buy more flowers to "offset the Republican boycott." So the Republicans are boycotting Roses and More because they have the cajones to actually be political (shocking!) on their signage? Anyone know anything more about this?

In the meantime, I'm buyin' me some flowers. You should, too. Flowers are pretty. You deserve some flowers today.

I wanted to thank Saxon Burns for doing such a great job with this week's cover story about greyhound racing and the 100-plus missing greyhounds and to Jason Swift for his clever photos.

I thought I'd put in a plug here about greyhound adoption.

Covering southeast Arizona there are four adoption groups: Arizona Greyhound Rescue (AGR), Greyhound Adoption League (GAL), Greyhounds2Go, and AZ Greyhounds, Inc. of Sierra Vista.

Greyhounds make great companions, because they are never yappy, rarely bark and mostly are couch potatoes except for occasional spurts of energy. Even though they love to run, they are not the kind of dog that you would take jogging. They don't know the jogging pace. Greyhounds are more like sprinters. Brisk walks a few times a day are what makes them tick and keeps them (and you) fit. 

Greyhounds are also love sponges. By that, I mean at the track they have never had 1-to-1 contact, as many greyhounds are handled by a single trainer. Bring a greyhound into your home and most likely they'll be your shadow. Greyhounds are used to routine and can fall into one quickly. 

Since greyhounds are trained to chase something small and furry, some have high prey drives and some could care less. AGR cat tests all hounds, and about 50 percent live happily with their feline friends.

If adopting is not in the stars, perhaps volunteering or fostering a greyhound is. Fostering involves bringing a greyhound into your home and teaching it house manners. Greyhounds have lived in cages all their lives and don't know television, walking on tile, a ride in the family car, and soft beds.

I am owned by two greyhounds. Painter is 12 1/2 years young and Tiger Lily is still a pistol at 9. Please consider letting a greyhound race into your heart. Thank you.

The Secretary of State's office seems to be doing a good job updating the elections results as provisional/absentee/etc. ballots are counted.

-- Proposition 107 (Hateful Bigoted Gay/Partnership Bashing) is still losing by more than 32,000 votes. I don't see how enough votes will filter in to change that.

-- Unfortunately Prop 106 (State Trust Land Reform) is still losing by more than 36,500 votes. It's defeat is pretty much certain, too.

-- The District 26 Senate results have not budged (at least not that I have seen) throughout the day; Charlene Pesqueira still leads by a meager 146 votes over Al Melvin. The same goes for Jennifer Burns holding her House seat by 458 votes over Pat Fleming.

-- And for those of you following Congressional District 5, Harry Mitchell still leads J.D. Hayworth by just less than 6,000 votes.

I'd be surprised if any of these results -- other than Pesquiera/Melvin -- changed. But stranger things have happened ...

I just witnessed the Oscar Mayer weinermobile zooming down Palo Verde Road, near Interstate 19, at 10:30 a.m.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet activities.