This is one hell of an alternative to divorce ...

So, does anyone have any thoughts on this week's cover story?

Maybe Fife Symington will find his extraterrestrial friends in the 50 years worth of UFO files that France has just opened.

So Fife Symington just came out and told CNN that he saw the "Phoenix Lights" in 1997, and that he thinks that they were caused by a UFO from another planet.

Really.

You know that pet-food recall, stemming from the kidney failure of some cats who had eaten the food? Well, it's put a dent in the Humane Society of Southern Arizona:

Today the Humane Society of Southern Arizona sorted through our pet food and had to throw away a large quantity of the recalled brands of dog/puppy and cat/kitten food. Any assistance you can offer to help promote this food drive would be greatly appreciated! As always, many thanks for all you do for us!

"Stuff the Ark" schedule:

Thursday, March 22: Petco, 5405 E. Broadway Blvd.

Friday, March 23: PetSmart, 4140 E. Grant Road

Saturday, March 24: Dry Heat Trading Company, 6544 E. Tanque Verde Road

Sunday, March 25: PetSmart, 4374 N. Oracle Road

Here are a few events that did not make it into our print edition.

• Thursday, March 22 at 6:30 p.m.

  The Loft Cinema

  3233 E. Speedway Blvd.

  Brincando El Charco. The UA Committee on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Studies presents the free screening of Brincando El Charco. Lawrence La Fountain-Stokes, scholar of Queer Puerto Rican Diaspora from the University of Michigan, will introduce the film and lead a question-and-answer session.

• Saturday, March 24 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

  The Pima Air and Space Museum

  6000 E. Valencia Road

  Jets and Vetts. The annual Jets and Vetts event takes place in Hangar 4. Forty vintage Corvettes will be on display. $13.75 for adults; $10.75 for seniors; $9 for children 7 to 12; free for children 6 and younger. Call 618-4821 for more info.

• Saturday, March 24 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

  Reid Park

  22nd Street and Country Club Road

  Youth Expo. The fifth annual Glassman Foundation Youth Expo will offer cooking demonstrations, pioneering projects, rain gutter regatta boat races, marshmallow shooters, bottle rockets and more. Alvin Townley, Eagle Scout and author of Legacy of Honor: The Values and Influence of America's Eagle Scouts, will sign books. $1 per person. Call 750-0385 for info.

• Monday, March 26 at 7:30 p.m.

  The Invisible Theatre

  1400 N. First Ave.

  Benefit Chamber Reading. Confessions of a Nightingdale will be performed by Manny Ferris and directed by Yolanda Miller. $25, with a portion of proceeds to benefit New Orleans Habit for Humanity. A half-price rush sale will take place 30 minutes before the show for any remaining tickets. Call 882-9721 for reservations.

This YouTube video brings new meaning to the phrase playing with your food.

Arizona Democrats are piling on U.S. Attorney Alberto Gonzales, who appears to be living beneath the shadow of what Hunter S. Thompson once called the million-pound shithammer.

Yesterday, Arizona Democratic Party Chairman David Waid sent out a letter to Sens. Patrick Leahy and Arlen Specter calling for an investigation into whether Paul Charlton, the U.S. attorney for Arizona, was forced out because he began an investigation into Republican Rick Renzi.

The letter reads in part:

It has recently come to light that Paul Charlton, the United States Attorney for the district of Arizona, opened an investigation into Congressman Richard Renzi directly before he was asked to leave office. Through subpoenaed White House e-mails, we have learned that our U.S. Attorney was placed on the White House’s now infamous “black list” soon after initiating the investigation into Renzi’s alleged corruption.

The investigation into allegations of bribery and vote-selling by Congressman Renzi has since remained out of the public eye and no progress has been reported. The investigation raises deeply disturbing questions about behavior that is potentially criminal and absolutely undermines the confidence of Arizonans in their federal government.

Today, Congressman Raul Grijalva demanded in a letter to President George W. Bush that Gonzales be canned.

Mr. Gonzales has lost the confidence of the American people and is no longer credible in the this post, which requires him to serve, above all, the law, the Constitution and the American people, not the White House’s political agenda or you personally. The highest law enforcement officer in the land must be beyond even the appearance of impropriety, and Mr. Gonzales, clearly, no longer meets this minimal standard to hold the office.

The Arizona Republic’s Mike Madden and Dennis Wagner tackle the story today.

It's obvious that Charlton wasn't fired so the Bush administration could install a political hack, as happened in some of the other cases. So why did he get the ax? The excuses offered so far, as the Republic story shows, keep changing, which makes the theory that he was forced out for investigating Renzi increasingly plausible ...

This story, about two bartenders who stopped a potential date-rapist in the San Francisco Bay area, is worth checking out.

What do you say we just skip the '07 city election and go straight to the next year's presidential race, OK?

We're already bored with the idea of talking about Rio Nuevo and the children of Tucson. And besides: With the front-loaded primary season, we're going to have a national primary in February now, which isn't that far off.

How about this slick Web ad attacking Hillary from supporters of Obama? The San Francisco Chronicle has an interesting analysis piece.