Over on CNN.com, as of this writing, the top story—with a big, red "BREAKING NEWS" banner—is a story about the revealing of the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

God help us. All of us.

This year's city election, already shaping up as a snoozer, got a little more boring this afternoon after Democrat Daniel Patterson decided against challenging Republican Mayor Bob Walkup. Patterson made the announcement on his blog. So now the most likely Democrat is a borderline-homeless regular at Council meetings, Michael Toney.

But we may have a little excitement after all. We hear that former lawmaker John Kromko has filed some sort of initiative to get rid of the $14-a-month garbage fee and limit growth. Details in next week's Skinny...

Ah, the joys of traveling over the International Date Line. We woke up this morning in Shanghai and went to the airport, using a bus for part of the journey, and a 431 kph maglev train for the rest. Then after a healthy wait, we got on a plane to Beijing, which was late, meaning we had to run to make our 12-hour flight to San Francisco. That is where we are now, waiting for our flight to Phoenix, where we will catch a catapult plane to Tucson.

Jet lag is a hoot. I feel half whacked out, yet I am sitting here editing copy for next week's issue. So if next week's paper doesn't make very much sense, now you know why.

Coming later: Pics from the trip, and maybe a story in the dead-tree version. Or maybe not.

Are we there yet?

Here are a few events that were received too late to be included in our print issue.

• Sunday, April 8 from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m.

  Anjali

  330 Seventh St.

  Whirling Celebration. Join the Institute for Applied Meditation for a whirling celebration. Donations accepted. RSVP to 299-2170.

• Monday, April 9 at 7 p.m.

  Duval Auditorium, University Medical Center

  1501 N. Campbell Ave.

  Arizona Coordinated Bird Monitoring Program and Birdathon Kickoff. Troy Corman of Arizona Game and Fish will give a presentation on the Arizona Coordinated Bird Monitoring Program. A fundraiser for Tucson Audubon will take place during the intermission. Homer Hanson will give a pre-program presentation on "New World Tyrant Flycatchers." Free. Call 629-0757 for info.

• Wednesday, April 11 from 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.

  Alzheimer's Association

  3003 S. Country Club Road, Suite 209

  Compassionate Communication. Learn effective ways to communicate with loved ones who have Alzheimer's. Free. Call 322-6601 for info.

• Wednesday, April 11 from noon to 1 p.m.

  University of Arizona Bookstore

  1209 E. University Blvd.

  Pat Mora Booksigning. Author Pat Mora will sign copies of her new collection Adobe Odes. Visit www.patmora.com for information. Call 621-3920 for questions about the event.

A woman called me a few days ago. Without introducing herself, she asked if I had a number for contacting the Minutemen, as if I’m directory assistance or something. It’s no big deal, though, so I did a quick Google search and told her the Minuteman Project has a Web page with that information. She wanted to know if they shoot illegal immigrants, and I replied, no, I didn’t think that was a normal part of their operations.

Then she asked for the names of politicians down our way. It was a vague question, so I sought clarification on whether she wanted state or federal politicians. Eventually, I told her Gabrielle Giffords’ 8th Congressional District covers a lot of the border area.

Finally, we got to the apparent point of the woman’s call. She asked, “Did you know there are community colleges where you have to know Spanish to be admitted?” She said she was a recent transplant from Illinois, where she had worked as a nurse for some 30 years; in Arizona, however, where I gathered standards are stricter, she was only qualified to change bedpans.

I told her I found the Spanish-language requirement in the general terms she described as “extremely hard to believe,” and that’s when she started venting her frustrations at me. She insisted I call South Mountain Community College and find out for myself. While she was railing against the indignity of having to speak Spanish, I went to the college’s Web page to find out more.

After a cursory examination of the site, I came to the conclusion that SMCC has a bilingual nursing program. That’s the specific focus of the curriculum, and I told her that. I suggested that she look for another community college that has a regular nursing program. But the woman wasn’t having it: She wanted to go to SMCC, because it’s right down the street.

“Do they receive public money? Are they a public institution?” she demanded.

“I don’t know what they receive,” I said. “I just found out about the college. What does that have to do with a bilingual nursing program, anyway?”

The woman became increasingly strident. She kept saying all the things you’d come to expect: This is America. We speak English in America. The only language anyone should use is English. I told her I thought it was reasonable to have a bilingual nursing program in a state bordering Mexico with a sizeable Spanish-speaking population. It’s a matter of public health.

We ended our conversation after she asked me if I was 30 yet. I told her that was none of her business, and I wasn’t going to give her my Social Security number, either. She predicted that 15 or 20 years from now, ostensibly after the America I know and love has been destroyed, I will look back on this call and remember.

It was really interesting to me that this recent transplant from Illinois had already made a mental connection between the Minuteman Project (and illegal immigration) and a bilingual nursing program, as if hordes of Latinos are braving the desert to attend South Mountain Community College.

There are plenty of issues relating to illegal immigration that people should be concerned about; the language they use at some community-college nursing program isn't one of them.

What a difference a day makes! When The Skinny talked on Tuesday to Rich Singer, head honcho of the Tucson Convention Center, he told us his arena plan--released just last week--wasn't even on the agenda for yesterday's City Council meeting. But by the end of the council meeting, our civic leaders had voted unanimously for the $190 million project. Even Ward 5 Councilman Steve Leal, who told us a week ago that he'd rather remodel the existing TCC arena, changed his mind and supported it. Leal tells us he reversed himself because he liked the economic boost that supposed to come as part of a new hotel.

Well, there goes another potential campaign issue for the 2007 city elections. This is shaping up to be the dullest campaign season since 2004, when the big excitement centered around the county assessor's race.

Shanghai is a deeply interesting city. Let me give you some snapshots from a day in this megapolis of more than 20 million people.

• We started out the day by checking out the Bund, a waterfront area with all sorts of different architecture thanks to the fact that Britain controlled the area in the early part of the 20th century. It's on one side of the Huangpu River; on the other side is the new economic development part of Shanghai, featuring all sorts of big, flashy buildings (including the 1,300-foot-tall Oriental Pearl TV tower, which is, well, tall). We walked along the water, dodging various pushy street vendors. At one point, some people put some money in an observation telescope to closely peruse the big buildings across the river, and the telescope started playing a song (when the song ended, the viewing time on the telescope ran out). That song? "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."
• We were then off to a rug- and tapestry-weaving factory. The same building also featured a cashmere factory and store. Finally, the same building featured a Mongolian barbecue restaurant, which featured so-so food and employees that absolutely came UNGLUED when people sat at a table that was not distinctly assigned to them. We were THIS close to an international incident.
• Then we enjoyed a full afternoon of shopping in a huge shopping district, featuring all sorts of pushy vendors, and even several Starbucks. Our group of 80 or so people spent an estimated $265 million while we were there. I bought a jade cat, for example. Garrett got his tennis shoes shined. However, I passed on the knock-off iPods, which looked more like old-fashioned cell phones than iPods. Anytime you wanted an item (outside of Starbucks, that is) there was a LOT of bargaining. It was exhausting. Here's how it works: You ask how much something costs; the vendor gives you a price only mentally deranged people would pay; you suggest a price that's like a tenth of the mentally deranged price; the vendor feigns a heart attack and offers a slightly better, but still insane price; and so on, until "final" offers are rejected, and you walk out of the store; the vendor calls out after you and, exasperated, offers you one more final price because you're a "special friend"; finally, some sort of price is agreed upon; you pay and take your newly purchased item; that item falls apart on your way back to the tour bus.
• MOMENT OF THE DAY: A young woman talked us into her little shop, and she tried to sell me a "Hard Rock Shang  i" T-shirt. When I pointed out that the second "ha" in Shanghai was missing, she quickly pulled the shirt off the rack and pointed out that the shirts behind it had all their letters. I laughed and started walking out of the store. She then hit me with a T-shirt and called me a "bad man."
• After shopping and dinner (More Chinese food!) we took a nighttime boat cruise on the Huangpu River. The buildings with all their lights were stunning. Imagine if Las Vegas threw up on New York ... that's kind of what it looks like.

Anyhow, tomorrow, we're off to the airport, and a day of traveling. Our itinerary: Shanghai to Beijing to San Francisco to Tucson, God willing. I need some tortilla soup and guacamole, dammit.

If you blinked, you will have missed the brief downtime experienced in the last 30 minutes or so of the blog. Now that we're back, we can point you in the direction of the new issue for this week.

It was yet another beautiful day in Southern China, as our group woke up to a sunny day in Hangzhou. We headed off on a boat cruise on West Lake, and then went into a tea-farming area that was beyond gorgeous. After lunch, we went to Lingyin Temple, which is 1,600 years old and one of the coolest things I have ever seen in my life.

Yet what did we gringos talk about over dinner? How we are DYING for some good ol' Western food.

Lemme explain: At every lunch and dinner since landing in Beijing five nights ago, we have been seated at large, round tables and fed random Chinese food. No ordering from a menu. No options: We ate whatever our servers put in front of us to devour, family-style. And it's wearing on us. I have not eaten a McDonald's hamburger in probably a year, and I would KILL for one now. And though McDonald's are far from rare here in China, of course, there is not one within walking distance of our hotel.

Remember the lists of must-visit Tucson restaurants we published on this blog a week or two ago? Thinking of those lists makes my mouth water unstoppably.

In any case, we're in Shanghai tonight and all day tomorrow, before heading home on Friday.

Greetings from Hangzhou, China, where our tour group is staying in a Howard Johnson hotel. I swear to God, it has to be the nicest HoJo in the world. It is 24 stories tall, with a bar at the top floor where you can look over the majestic beauty (and I mean that) of this city of 6 million or so—and pick up a, um, "date" to boot, if you so choose.

We started the morning in Suzhou, where we went to China's foremost silk factory and learned all about silkworms, mulberry trees and worm poop. Our tour guide, while showing us a silk-stuffed pillow, explained that some Chinese people put silkworm poop in their pillows—and sometimes even drink it—for its medicinal qualities.

He didn't look like he was kidding.

Then we got to shop for silk bedding, silk ties, silk scarves (I bought about 1,477) and even silk long underwear. The same place also sold what seemed to be some softcore porn featuring naked Asian women. And this was a government-owned store.

This was followed by a boat cruise through Suzhou's canals. Our tour guide said Marco Polo called Suzhou the Venice of the East or something. I think Marco Polo had consumed too much worm poop when he said this. Nonetheless, Suzhou's canals were seriously cool, and the local people were very nice.

After that, we went back to the silk factory for lunch (More Chinese food! I am DYING for a hamburger or a chimichanga or a pizza! But not enough to go to Papa John's—which is actually in Hangzhou, God help us!), and then went to an embroidery factory. Some of the embroidery works they had were truly amazing (and truly expensive). Then, we were off on a 2 1/2-hour drive to Hangzhou, with a brief stop at a rest area in between. But this was no normal rest area; it had a grocery store and a "dinning hall." In the grocery store, I bought some Pringles made in Belgium. Yes, that's right: In China, I bought Pringles, an American product, that were made in Belgium.

Shortly after that, we checked into the HoJo, then went to dinner (More Chinese food! Can someone PLEASE Fed-Ex me a Sonoran hot dog?!?!?), and then—again, I could not make this up if I tried—traveled on an optional trip to a secret covert store selling knockoff purses, watches and whatnot. I went because I need a suitcase or two (mine are falling apart) but came back empty-handed, because the luggage was mediocre and overpriced. However, the tourists desiring impressive purse knockoffs made off like bandits.

Tomorrow, we take a boat cruise and do some other stuff in Hangzhou, and then head to Shanghai for the final day and a half of our China journey. I just hope nobody sneaks worm poop into my food during the final 2 1/2 days.