Considering I was an active supporter of Epic Meal Time (until they sold out on Leno), I probably can't criticize Denny's for going for the "Bacon Strips, Bacon Strips, Bacon Strips, Bacon Strips" theory of restaurant management, and yes, a bacon sampler sounds delicious, but this ad is weird. I do not want to hear moaning while looking at pictures of food. At least not someone else's moaning. Show some decency, Denny's.

I am a big fan of the Loft Cinema and both the new and revival movies they bring to town (I'm particularly excited about Rubber, coming April 29th), but that doesn't mean that I'm not occasionally envious of the projected offerings at other indie cinemas. In this case, it's the Muppets to the Max series at the Alamo Drafthouse:

We’ve partnered with The Jim Henson Legacy and Brooklyn Academy of Music to present a series of special Muppet-related programming. You’ll see some of the greatest moments of the 50+ year history of the Muppets, rarely seen gems from the Sesame Street vaults, and even some experimental short films from Henson stepping out of the puppetry game.

Music Monday: MUPPET MUSIC MOMENTS
Music was always an integral part of THE MUPPET SHOW, and the Jim Henson Legacy has assembled a collection of some of the classic music numbers interpreted as only the Muppets can. This compilation features a wide range of musical genres, including performances by guest stars Harry Belafonte, Elton John, and Linda Ronstadt.
* Monday, March 28, 2011 @7:00p

COMMERCIALS & EXPERIMENTS
This program is a collection of experimental shorts, crazy commercials, and other rarities from the Henson vault. Highlights include: a legendary commercial and industrial film for Wilson’s Meat that must be seen to believed, excerpts from Henson’s experimental television programs THE CUBE and YOUTH 68: EVERYTHING’S CHANGING…OR MAYBE IT ISN’T, and TIME PIECE an 8-minute experimental masterpiece from 1965 that showcases Henson’s talent for making music out of everyday sounds.
* Tuesday, March 29, 2011 @7:00p
* Wednesday, April 06, 2011 @7:00p

JIM HENSON & FRIENDS: INSIDE THE SESAME STREET VAULT
This super-entertaining program highlights the contributions of Jim Henson and his early SESAME STREET collaborators, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Fran Brill, and Caroll Spinney. In addition to old favorites, there are some extremely rare clips from specials and guest appearances on other television programs.
* Saturday, April 02, 2011 @3:00p

SING! THE MUSIC OF SESAME STREET
A joyous, sometimes hilarious and poignant salute to forty years of SESAME STREET music, featuring the original show classics, parodies, and special visits from some of the music industry’s biggest names.
* Sunday, April 03, 2011 @7:00p

THE MUPPET MOVIE SING-ALONG
This simply irresistible first feature from the Muppets has Kermit the frog going from the swamps to Hollywood to be a star. As he travels and picks up his usual friends, Doc Hopper (Charles Durning) is in pursuit, looking for Kermit to be the spokesman for his frog-leg cuisine. A loose rendition of THE WIZARD OF OZ, the film incorporates the same cagey humor as their breakout syndicated TV series The Muppet Show.
* Thursday, April 07, 2011 @7:00p
* Thursday, April 14, 2011 @7:00p

SESAME STREET AT 40: MILESTONES ON THE STREET
This “best-of” compilation features dozens of classic moments in the forty-year history of the show, including excerpts from the first episode, celebrity guests, and some of the best bits from Ernie and Bert, Big Bird, Snuffy, and the rest of the gang.
* Saturday, April 09, 2011 @3:00p

MUPPET FAIRYTALES: THE FROG PRINCE & THE ELVES AND THE SHOEMAKER
A program of two classic Muppet fairy tales! In THE FROG PRINCE (Henson, 1971), the Muppets explore the age-old question: What happens when you kiss a frog? No one can better tell that classic fairytale than Kermit and his friends. In THE ELVES AND THE SHOEMAKER (Grossman, 1994), a wacky dilemma pops up: What if the elves that come to the aid of the shoemaker are actually Elvises?
* Sunday, April 10, 2011 @3:00p

Zzang!!!: THE DARK CRYSTAL
In an unnamed land, a pair of young, elf-like Gelflings must battle the evil Skeksis to bring their world back to the power it once held. Though this may sound like fantasy silliness, the sheer power and ingenuity of THE DARK CRYSTAL is unmatched. It’s a pure-hearted, imagination-powered journey into unexplored ideas, with the most memorable characters this side of another dimension. From the graceful Land-Striders to the looming crab-like Garthim to that wily, one-eyed heroic priestess Aulghra, the colorful creatures create an entirely unique experience at the movies.
* Sunday, April 27, 2011 @7:00p

The Dark Crystal is already coming to the Loft, so getting the rest of these programs can't be too much of a stretch, right? What do you say, keepers of the Loft?

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post.

• Illustration by Ryn Gargulinski

Firefighters, police officers and window washers aren’t the only ones with dangerous jobs, as one Ohio Walmart greeter who was choked by a customer found out.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, March 30 (today!), and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

This week’s theme is once again APOCALYPSE, as the end of the world takes at least two shows to complete.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

• Don't miss this concert for a cause.

Supported by three other Arizona bands and AbolitionMedia, Hackman has put together a local concert, taking place Saturday, April 2, at 7 p.m., at Skrappy’s, with proceeds going to local efforts to stop human trafficking.

Once Hackman was introduced to these evils, it was impossible for him to ignore.

“We are talking about a very real, very common thing here,” he explained. “The scary thing is we never hear much about human trafficking, as it is often misdiagnosed or not even reported upon at all. To put it into perspective, over 10 percent of Thailand’s total income comes from tourists—often Americans—purchasing sex slaves”

After hearing about this pandemic through his involvement in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, Hackman felt compelled to shine light on these issues.

His question was: How?

“I feel there is a certain power and blessing in being a musician or an artist,” he said, “and there comes a very real responsibility with these talents. I want our music to be a positive influence, and over the years, I have come to appreciate media as a means to connect people. Music and art, when brought together, can amplify our voices by the sheer congregation of numbers.”

Aiding his efforts is Abolition Media director Ezra Hagberg—a member of the band Signals, which is also performing at Saturday’s show.

Hagberg explained that human trafficking, or "modern-day slavery," as he put it, has become the fastest growing crime in the world.

“The problem with human trafficking is that it takes on so many different forms,” he said. “It adapts to every environment. It is in Tucson, Phoenix, the northside, southside, eastside, westside, downtown. It has not been uncommon for sex trafficking to exist right on our streets, but it is largely migrating online. Trafficking does not fit into one simple stereotype; it is all around us.”

From NASA:

Early this morning, at 5:20 am EDT, MESSENGER captured this historic image of Mercury. This image is the first ever obtained from a spacecraft in orbit about the Solar System's innermost planet. Over the subsequent six hours, MESSENGER acquired an additional 363 images before downlinking some of the data to Earth. The MESSENGER team is currently looking over the newly returned data, which are still continuing to come down.

The New York Times article blowing the lid off the seemingly massive corruption at the Fiesta Bowl, leading to nearly everyone in leadership either quitting or getting fired today, is fascinating enough, but one interesting aspect who was also named in the report:

The report highlighted several trips to Chicago, Boston and elsewhere that the Fiesta Bowl hosted for several Arizona politicians and their families. Anthony Aguilar, the Fiesta Bowl’s director of community and corporate relations, told investigators that the trips were meant to be educational and to show legislators the importance of college football and the Fiesta Bowl to the Arizona economy.

One of the beneficiaries of the trips was Russell Pearce, the State Senate president, a Republican who has gained a national profile over the past year for writing Arizona’s controversial immigration law. Pearce and his wife traveled to Chicago in 2005 to attend a Northwestern-Michigan game and stayed at the Ritz-Carlton. He and his wife also traveled to Boston on a similar trip with his son in 2008, according to the report.

Pearce did not return calls for comment.

Angela Holt, one of the bowl’s financial officers, told investigators she found no documentation to show the politicians reimbursed the bowl for the cost of the trips.

The report does not say what exactly the bowl might have been seeking with its favors to the elected officials, beyond good will among people of local prominence.

Although the New York Times stuck to the big fish on the list, the Chicago trip also included Arizona State Senators Linda Aguirre, Robert Blendu, and Linda Lopez from the Arizona House of Representatives. Along for the ride to Boston, Robert Blendu, David Bradley, Rich Crandell, Linda Lopez, David Lujan, Robert Meza, Michelle Reagan, and Thayer Verschoor.

[Update: I just spoke to Senator Lopez who said she went on the trips because she was invited and she feels it's "important to support the Fiesta Bowl, and to maintain relationships with other conferences...get them pumped up about participating." She said she was unaware of any of the larger issues with how the Fiesta Bowl committee was being run under Junker and that she was confident that "those overseeing it would work out the issues."]

However, Russell Pearce seemed to be a big fan of the Fiesta Bowl's generosity, with his name showing up as having received free tickets to several football games as "gifts".

Also interesting (to me, at least), from the full report, the list of candidates and organizations who received contributions from staffers that were reimbursed using Fiesta Bowl money. Anyone want to guess how long it takes someone from this list to offer to return the donations?:

Allen, Carolyn
Kyl, Jon
Arizona Republican Party
Lane, Jim
AZ Wins
Manross, Mary
Bennett, Ken
Martin, Phil
Brewer, Jan
McCain, John
Bundgaard, Scott
Mitchell, Harry
Carpenter, Ted
Navarro for City Council
Cummiskey, Christopher
Pearce, Russell
Flake, Jake
Rios, Pete
Gardner, Mike
Shadegg, John
Hayworth, JD
Weiers, James
Knaperek, Laura
Wilcox, Mary
Kunasek, Andrew

While I know it's not true, in my mind, I'm picturing that this video is from a magical Japanese night club where they're still wearing Cross Colours gear, dancing to tracks from 1991's De La Soul is Dead and dance moves like David Silver had are still cool. For me, that might be heaven.

Oddly enough, based on how the New York Times is reporting the negotiations, I think I'm siding with AMC here. The network is apparently offering Weiner $30 million to run the show for three seasons (a lot of money), but he won't sign because AMC wants to cut two minor cast members, drop the show time by two minutes to add more advertisements, and continue to include product placement. I get Weiner's insistence on artistic integrity, but it's probably important for him to also realize that the ratings for Mad Men are sort of terrible, so on that level, AMC is offering him a spectacular deal, paying him an obscene amount of money for critical, if not economic, success.

Take the money, Matthew! Give in a little! We need Mad Men back, and with you at the controls, instead of some other hack they can pay half your rate for 3/4 of the ability! [If anyone from AMC is reading this and looking for that sort of hack, get in touch. I'm available.]

The Onyx Room holds its grand opening this Friday, April 1, but the new restaurant and nightclub's
Facebook page says a limited menu is already available.

As I've noted before, John Bryant Jr., head cook down at the Onyx Room, strikes a nice tone when describing the Southern cuisine he's bringing to the Old Pueblo. Take a look at the menu full of steaks, oxtail, neckbones, chicken and all the proper Southern side dishes here.

The Onyx Room is also kicking off its schedule of live music with a performance by Epiphany this Saturday. There's more information via the restaurant's website over here.