Everyone loves a cash-grabbing sequel to a popular (or even semi-popular) film, right? Unfortunately, the idiots behind Marley & Me stuck with the real life story of the dog who taught its owner to live by including (spoiler alert!) the dog's death.

But, wait, why not just go back? When Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston meet Marley, he's a puppy, but there must have been a little bit of time between his birth and that fateful adoption day, right? Oh, and let's just make the dog talk...everyone loves talking dogs:

Fortunately, Twentieth Century Fox has found a way around Grogan’s selfishness with the straight-to-DVD Marley And Me: The Puppy Years, a Godfather Part II-like prequel that will fill in the blanks on all those lost chapters of Marley’s life before he rose to power in the rough-and-tumble hallways of Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston’s unlikely large house. (The film is, oddly enough, co-written and directed by Michael Damian—the former soap star turned “Rock On” singer turned filmmaker specializing in straight-to-video family sequels like Flicka 2.) This prelude returns to a happier time, picking up when Marley is just a “pint-sized pup,” so it lacks a Wilson or Aniston to vocalize their loving frustration with Marley’s rambunctious antics.

But the filmmakers have prepared for that contingency, as Marley not only coincidentally pals around with a “Bodie Grogan” as they conspire to “wreak havoc” on a neighborhood dog contest, he also “now has a frisky voice and an attitude to match,” allowing Marley himself to offer running commentary on his own that-darn-dog-ness. Of course, your enjoyment of said friskiness may be sullied by knowing that, eventually, Marley dies. But then, so do we. So do we.

A few free ideas for Hollywood, along these lines:

The Shining: Jack's Alright With Me - Jack Torrance is an author and teaches at a prep school. He drinks a bit too much. That's about it.

Before The Perfect Storm - Some sailors hang out on the ocean. Make jokes, do whatever sailors do when there isn't a terrible storm.

A Salesman - Follow Willy Loman as he goes door to door selling something. Something funny, hopefully.

Debbie Makes Out With Texarkana - She isn't quite ready to go all the way, but she can still have a good time!

The first volume of Fallon and Timberlake's novelty rap medley was quite popular, and it's always good to hear The Roots tackling just about anything, so I suppose it's no particular surprise to hear the two hamming their way through "Push It".

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Why hunt bears when you can hunt a guy from Utah?

This unemployed fellow proposes to take on the job of becoming human prey for willing hunters, for a price tag of $10,000 — with the option of him being naked for the hunt for an additional $2,000.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, July 20 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

This week continues our WATER songs, which have been flowing finely.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

Public polling is often inherently ridiculous, so this particularly strange new way of asking if people believe President Obama is a secret Muslim can't be given that much credit, but it is a little disarming how many of the likely Republican primary voters nationwide seem to be confident that they have a sense of where the velvet rope lies during the afterlife.

[Slate]

"Smells Like Rain" by Rebecca Wilder is on display in Monsoon! through Aug. 24 at Tohono Chul Park, 7366 N. Paseo del Norte.

Sierra Club members are not happy about a Russell Pearce-backed plan to seek donations to build more fencing along the border. According to the organization, new walls would cause flooding and put native species at risk.

Per a press release:

With 307 of 375 border miles already occupied by barriers and walls, Arizona is subjected to more border walls than any other state. Walls have caused massive flooding at Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument and block wildlife at important refuges such as the San Pedro Riparian National Conservation Area and the Buenos Aires National Wildlife Refuge.

A recent study of amphibian, reptile, and some mammal species along the border found that new barriers would increase the number of already threatened species whose survival would be put further at risk.

On a non-environmental vein, Sierra Club higher-ups said the planned fencing would be expensive and ineffective, adding that there are more important issues for the legislature to focus on.

Wouldn't it be awesome if the caravan had cookie hubcaps? Hey, a guy can dream.

From the press release:

DoubleTree by Hilton SWEETENS SUMMER TRAVEL WITH Cookie CAREAVAN TOUR

WHEN: Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

WHERE: Jácome Plaza in Downtown Tucson at Pennington/Stone

from 8am to 9:30am

The Galleria at the Tucson Convention Center, next to Granada Avenue

from 10am to 11am

WHAT: DoubleTree by Hilton Hotels is kicking off a nationwide tour to celebrate the 25th anniversary our iconic chocolate chip cookie. Tying into the food truck phenomenon, the “DoubleTree by Hilton Cookie CAREavan” is embarking on a 10-week, 10,000-mile, 50-city tour to bring its sweet treats to travelers, workers and local charities nationwide.

On Wednesday, July 20th, the DoubleTree by Hilton Cookie CAREavan will arrive at the Jácome Plaza in Downtown Tucson, Arizona. From 8am to 9:30am, while supplies last, the Cookie CAREavan team will be giving out free cookies to anyone who stops by. In addition, the Cookie CAREavan will arrive at the Tucson Convention Center from 10am to 11am, while supplies last.

• James Gathany, CDC

Mosquitoes, beware! Researchers at the U of A discovered a way to disrupt the pests' digestion after a blood meal, causing 90 percent of affected mosquitoes to die within 48 hours of feeding. The process could help the fight against mosquito-borne illnesses like dengue fever, yellow fever and malaria.

Per a UANews release:

When the researchers blocked a cellular process known as vesicle transport, on which the mosquitoes rely to release digestive enzymes into the gut among other functions, it caused the affected animals to die within two days of blood feeding.

"The idea behind our research is this: If we can kill the mosquito after she bites the first person, she won't be able to bite and infect a second," said Roger Miesfeld, a professor in the UA's department of chemistry and biochemistry, who led the research project.

Just when you though Harry Potter couldn't possibly invade daily life ever further, it seems Potterheads may actually be able to put their knowledge to practical use. Guess the only question is what classes will you be taking?

For fans, the upcoming release of the final installment of the Harry Potter movies is bittersweet. On one hand, the film is a much anticipated finale to the series that has been in production for almost ten years. On the other, it marks the end of the excitement and fanfare that goes along with the release of the films. Yet Potterheads need not despair. There are still plenty of ways to get your fix, even without new books or movies. How so, you ask? Colleges all over the nation are embracing Harry Potter mania, and many are offering courses that focus on the books and their characters. Potter fans young and old should look into signing up for these exciting college courses — not only are they educational, but fans of the series will get to learn more about the stories they love.

Pleas for clemency, even from Bishop Jerry Kicanas of the Diocese of Tucson, were not successful in preventing the execution of death row inmate Thomas West.

According to reports, West was executed this morning for the 1987 murder of Donald Bortle in a trailer near Tucson. West reportedly skipped his last meal Monday night and calmly met with his lawyers this morning before his execution.

"When the curtains opened, he gestured to his lawyers - some of the execution's witnesses thought he was flashing a peace sign.

He had no last words. As the warden read the death warrant, West closed his eyes and never reopened them.

After the execution began at 11:01 a.m., West let out several snoring breaths.

He was pronounced dead at 11:10 a.m."

In a video plea, Kicanas asked the Board of Executive Clemency and Gov. Jan Brewer to allow West to serve a life sentence.

"He needs to be punished. And my sense is that a life punishment would make all the sense in the world," Kicanas said. "To take his life will accomplish little or nothing, especially in this instance when he did not go into that house intent on killing Mr. Bortle. Since there has been such a long history for this young man in the kind of trauma that has been experienced, I hope that you will consider commuting the death penalty to a life sentence."