• Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Each manufacturer had its own help desk service, each stocked with people familiar with its products and issues surrounding them.

A helpful-sounding someone would answer the phone, listen to your problem, and then offer a solution. If the first fix did not work, the person would keep trying until your issue was resolved, or at least as close to a resolution as you could come without ripping all the wires out and hurling your computer and related gadgets out the window.

Even if the help desk helper was unable to fix your problem, the call was usually worth your while. At least you knew you had been supported by someone who knew what you were talking about and what was going on.

All that has changed.

That thing called a help desk has instead morphed into more of a hell desk, where you no longer reach knowledgeable staff but random overseas workers who follow a written-out script regardless of your particular problem.

So, on Tuesday, by a 9-1 vote, the Los Angeles City Council voted to make condom use mandatory in the porn industry. The rule would require the porn studios, largely located in the San Fernando Valley portion of the city, to pay a fee when requesting a permit to shoot that would fund surprise inspections. The porn studios, which have long opposed the measure, have threatened to leave the city in protest. Steven Hirsch, founder of the adult film company Vivid Entertainment Group, told the LA Times "The industry isn't going anywhere in terms of shooting movies, but if we need to move out of the city or the state, those jobs will go along with it."

If the porn industry needs to pull out of California, it's time for those adult jobs to come to Arizona.

It's not like we can pretend that pornography isn't already being produced in our state, after all, the Girls Gone Wild franchise considers the Arizona State campus a giant casting call, so if erotic films are going to be produced (oh, and they will), why not bring Christy Canyon to the Grand Canyon State? We've been losing our most emotionally damaged young people with father issues to California for years, let's reverse that trend and become a state with more Greyhound arrivals than departures. After all, Sen. Al Melvin says that our state is "open for business" and what's more open than this? Make it happen, Arizona politicians, if not for the out-of-work key grips, or the owners of the Lisa Frank building who would have a tenant in minutes (porn stars like dolphins and unicorns, I'm pretty sure), but for the rising tide of economic benefits to the plastic surgeons, bikini manufacturers, and pizza delivery guys. Our state needs porn and soon.

Zia Records is gathering together music for their sixth annual “You Heard Us Back When” compilation, and frankly, most years there are far too many bands from Phoenix and Las Vegas. People in good bands here: please submit a track. The money goes to a great cause and who knows, maybe a song contributed to a record store's well-packaged mixtape could be the catalyst leading to your big break. Also, every Tucson track that makes the compilation bumps off a band from Phoenix, which is exciting in itself.

The info, from Zia:

What bands/artists need to know about submitting music for “You Heard Us Back When” :
• Deadline to submit tracks is Friday, March 9th
• Bands/Artists can drop off a CD of their music at any of our 8 ZIA Record Exchange locations (Store Locations : http://www.ziarecords.com/CustomPage/59)
• Bands/Artists can also send MP3 files of their music to ZIA. Tracks can be emailed to [email protected]
• Completed Submission form must accompany any CD or MP3 Files sent to ZIA

As in years past, proceeds from the sales of the compilation will go to a community charity. This year, we have partnered with The Beer For Brains Foundation and we’re proud to be working with such a great organization. The Beer For Brains Foundation is a national, non-profit organization of craft-beer lovers, distributors and brewers, committed to raising public awareness about brain cancer, engendering compassion for its victims and helping fund groundbreaking research leading to a cure. For more information, visit them online at www.thebeerforbrainsfoundation.org.

We will once again be releasing the compilation on our favorite holiday, National Record Store Day that falls on Saturday, April 21st this year. For more information on Record Store Day, visit www.recordstoreday.com.

For more information and YHUBW submission form, visit : http://www.ziarecords.com/CustomPage/1261

I don't quite get it, but I think he wants to let us know that he's the best. At Street Fighter, the SATs, target shooting, some other stuff...he's the best. Hard to argue with a song of this quality, that's for sure.

[Daily What]

Seriously? Just this morning I listed off the numerous Asian eateries blossoming across Tucson only to discover that yet another has opened: China Pasta House at 430 N. Park Ave.

And while it is certainly of the Asian ilk - perhaps even more so than many Americanized Asian eateries in town - there is something else afoot here. For starters, they do authentic Chinese dumplings (rejoice!). They also do wonderful traditional dishes like warm soy milk and porridges, which make cold evenings like we've had lately into snuggly dinner times. For real.

You can check out the place online here. We're heading down tomorrow for a bite and will be back with a full report before long.

While most media types focused on how terrible Lana Del Rey was as the musical guest (and she was), the "You Can Do Anything" sketch was the actual highlight of the episode. I'd personally like to dedicate this post to the guy I know who has an extensive blog about the art of writing that he posts to everyday, offering "expert" advice on a career he's never been paid to do. You can do anything, buddy!

The building where the Bagelry once operated at 2575 N. Campbell Ave. will soon be a Jimmy John's Gourmet Sandwiches, or at least that's what the construction workers doing the renovation told me this morning.

I know, I know: It's not exactly earth-shattering restaurant news, unless you're a huge fan of the chain sandwich joint. But at least it will do away with the boarded-up husk of a restaurant that's been sitting there for month's looking sad and worn with broken windows and graffiti and such.

Clones have invaded the Spiderman universe, so Eric and Arnie discuss anti-hero Scarlet Spider, who fights human exploitation in Houston, Texas. Socio-political relevance!

We are in the midst of a particularly fertile period for local Asian eateries. Consider, if you will, how many have opened, or will open, in the very near future.

Two U Like Buffet locations are opening this year, not to mention the Hibachi Super Buffet over on Speedway and Swan, which should be opening soon. Then there’s the recently opened Koi Sushi Restaurant and the up-and-coming Now Rollin’ that I wrote about yesterday.

Azian at 15 N. Alvernon Way opened a short time ago; the Hidden Wok opened this week at 4955 N. Sabino Canyon Road; Kimchi Time Korean Restaurant is opening later this year at 2900 E. Broadway Blvd.; and food truck MaFooCo is out there on the streets selling Mexican-Asian fusion food to an ever-growing fan base.

Add to that last year’s addition of V Fine Thai Dining, Thai-China Bistro, Impress Hot Pot, Bushi Traditional Japanese and Asian Cuisine, China Boy and the reopening of Takamatsu, and you have a veritable golden age of Asian dining in Tucson.

If your chopstick skills are rusty, this would most certainly be a good time to remedy that. That is all.

Project White House contestant Al "Dick" Perry has outlasted Texas Gov. Rick Perry.
Talking Points Memo reports:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Thursday morning announced he is suspending his campaign for president, saying at a press conference in North Charleston, South Carolina, “the mission is greater than the man.” Perry endorsed former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, saying “Newt is not perfect, but who among us is.”

Perry continued on that theme, saying he was proud of the campaign that he ran, but as his time is up, the next step is for the Republican primary to find someone that can win in 2012.

“Our party, and the conservative philosophy transcends any one individual,” he said. “It’s a movement of ideas that are greater than any one of us, and will live long past any of us in our lives. As a former Air Force pilot, I don’t get confused. I know we can’t lose track of the ultimate objective in carrying out our mission, and that objective is not only to defeat President Obama, but to replace him with a conservative leader who will bring about real change.”

In other presidential contest news: It appears that inevitable nominee Mitt Romney didn't win Iowa after all.

Turns out Mitt Romney wasn’t the first GOP candidate in 35 years to take Iowa and New Hampshire. In fact, the certification of Iowa caucus votes conducted by the state GOP shows Rick Santorum won - by 34 votes, but the party is officially calling it a “split decision.”