Listen: don't tell people it's "all-you-can-eat" if you don't really mean it. This is America. We don't put up with that sort of falsehood.

Bill Wisth, I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history. God bless you and your work.

Apocalypso, a steel band from Tucson, Ariz., originally was formed in 1999, and has been together ever since. Apocalypso plays shows around Tucson at various venues, such as the restaurant Sakura.

Don Cox, Apocalypso's drummer, has played every steel drum that exists.

"[I love] showing the community something unique and fun," Cox says, "something that really makes an impact on the people."

Outside of playing with Apocalypso, Cox formed one of the first steel bands within an elementary school.

Although the steel band program no longer exists, Cox said that he is very proud of what he created, and that he will never be a part of something quite like that again.

Cox said that he and his bandmates experience lots of joy by, "making people happy," with the music that they play.

The fact that I'll probably only have so long to appreciate some of my favorite TV shows (Community, 30 Rock and Parks & Rec, like every jerk on the internet) is a little troubling to me, so I'm not particularly inclined to enjoy new shows on network TV just because I think they're going to be dumb and more like the insanely-bad Two Broke Girls than the shows I like which no one other than my friends on Facebook seem to watch.

Proving my point, this description (and the above preview) for NBC's Next Caller, which stars Dane Cook (bad), but also seems to be driven by every cliche ever (super-bad):

What happens when a foulmouthed satellite radio DJ - played by the multi-platinum selling artist and outrageously charming Dane Cook - is forced to share the mic with a chipper NPR feminist? It's anyone's call in this sharp new comedy from producer Stephen Falk ("Weeds") and Emmy-winning director Marc Buckland ("Grimm," "My Name Is Earl").

It's her first day in New York City, and 26-year-old Stella Hoobler is ready to take on the world. After a stint on public radio, she's been hired to co-host the no-holds-barred show "Booty Calls with Cam Dunne." Smart, spunky and passionate, Stella is determined to elevate the show beyond its boys'-club-locker-room humor into a respected debate about men, women and the state of human relationships. But there's a problem: Cam! She's going to find out the hard way that he's got no intention of sharing the spotlight, especially with someone like her. It's going to be a tense fight, but with the station's one rule being "make some noise," Cam and Stella could be a winning combination - as long as they don't knock each other out on their way to success.

Has anyone ever referred to Dane Cook as "outrageously charming," other than just now in this press release? I don't think so, especially considering that his turn as a movie star ended pretty quickly, regardless of the number of attractive women Hollywood tried pairing him with. Also, THE RADIO SHOW IS CALLED "BOOTY CALLS WITH CAM DUNNE". Poor Jeffrey Tambor. Poor, poor Jeffrey Tambor.

Not that I generally watch CBS, other than when I remember that the Amazing Race is on or for sporting events, but they have a particularly terrible idea on their fall schedule: a sitcom about people working at Groupon.

CBS has greenlit Friend Me. Here’s the (rather extensive) logline: “Twentysomething best friends, Evan and Rob, move from their hometown of Bloomington, Ind., to Los Angeles to begin their exciting new lives working at Groupon. Evan is having trouble breaking his old slothful habits and rather than go out after work to explore L.A. and meet new people, prefers to play online poker with his buddies back home. Rob has different plans and is determined to drag Evan, kicking and screaming, along with him.” Cast includes Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Nicholas Braun.

I just don't understand, but at least there are always Mary Tyler Moore re-runs on ME TV. Thank God for those.

I wouldn't have suspected that James Lipton, the strange man who asks his guests on Inside the Actors Studio what they hope God says to them or their favorite profanity, would have a particular insight into what makes Mitt Romney so creepy and off-putting, but on New York Magazine's website, he totally does:

When challenged on the illegal immigrants caring for his lawn, Mr. Romney responded: “We went to the company and we said, look, you can’t have any illegals working on our property. I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake.” While a few illegal immigrants on the lawn might not faze private citizen Romney, “running for office” requires a separate set of rules and, more important, a separate persona.

It’s that “other” Romney that seems to be confusing the public, and that launched my assignment in the Times. As worthy as the real Romney may be, he is not, has never been, and never will be the common man, and when he assumes the role in a crowd, his evident discomfort tells us that this guy doesn’t fly coach, much less go Greyhound, and, without the demands of “running for office,” wouldn’t be spending much time with these people who do.

Of course he’s within his rights. As he’s taken to pointing out, there’s nothing wrong with being rich. But one wouldn’t cast Henry Fonda in Bringing Up Baby or Cary Grant in The Grapes of Wrath. Miscasting matters – in drama and politics – and absent a miraculous Brando-level acting performance, Mr. Romney’s going to continue to fall victim to self-consciousness, the actor’s worst enemy.

Thx #Tucson voters asking me run 4 re-election as champ for real people, education, jobs & economy; 2012 unlikely, 2014 maybe

— Daniel R. Patterson (@DanPattersonUSA) May 15, 2012

First of all, if I've learned anything from this job, it's that most people generally don't care about the Legislature. Sure, there are flare-up moments when people get mad about one stupid bill or another, but in general, people just want to be able to pay their mortgage, afford food, whatever. Probably if people cared more about who represents them in Tucson, we'd probably have fewer weirdos and insane people in office, but as it stands, the subject isn't a high priority for a lot of citizens.

Second, no one thought Daniel Patterson was just killing it as a legislator. We covered his drama and eventual resignation rather extensively and I don't remember anyone really sticking up for the guy. Also, in general, I talk to a ton of local Democrats and by and large, people don't like him. Not just as a legislator, but as a person. During his ethics hearing, his colleagues seemed awfully happy to run the guy out of the building. If you can name three great things Patterson did in that gig, you'd be three ahead of what I know of.

So, sorry, Daniel Patterson. I just don't believe your former constituents are begging you to run again.

I fully recognize that an in-depth discussion of the current state of British game shows might be the sort of thing that only interests a hundred people (including and especially myself), but The Gameological Society, a new game focused spinoff of the AV Club (itself, a more serious, pop-culture oriented offshoot of The Onion) is running a great series this month focusing on just that subject. Last week, they profiled the not-so-great survey show Pointless, but this week, they delve into the quite interesting The Chase. Again, probably not the sort of thing everyone is interested in, but if you appreciate a solid reference to Sale of the Century's Jim Perry, click on over.

Think of Arizona Restaurant Week as a sort of culinary talent show where area restaurants bundle up their finest offerings into three-course meals for a special price. It starts this Saturday, May 19, and runs through the following Sunday, May 27. That is actually a week and two days, but we're going to overlook that little detail and get right to the food ...

Check out the participating restaurants here. This event went statewide for the first time last year, and we're wondering if it will now be offered twice a year being that the word "Spring" has been added to the title. If so, all the better. There's more on the event here.

There's a new winery down in Sonoita called Hops and Vines, and I am smitten with it. From the winery's brand-spanking-new website:

We're a small winery that's awesome! One of many great Sonoita-area wineries in Southern Arizona, our family farm is a fun, warm place for families and wine afficionados alike.

From its interesting line of non-alcoholic beverages called The Sober Shack to a variety of wines - we hear the most popular one thus far is a Muscat called The Fluffer - it's well worth checking out. A spokesman for the company tells us the winery is also the only local producer of hops, which should be of interest to the growing number of microbreweries taking shape around town.

There are tastings ("$10 with our glass, $5 with your glass"), special events, gatherings around bonfires, the list goes on. Head over here to check out more on all that.

If you spend any amount of time in the writing/publishing world, you'll hear an aspiring (or accomplished) writer extolling the virtues of Stephen Pressfield's The War of Art or Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. For good reason, too. The War of Art is an excellent book about discipline, a sparse quality among creative types. Outliers compellingly raises the argument that the only control you have over your career is how much work you put in, and about 10,000 hours should do it.

Doing work is absolutely crucial to success in the creative world, but I think these two books (Outliers especially) undervalue natural talent. I've known quite a few writers over the years from scrubs to accomplished authors, and what separates them is not usually work ethic. What separates them is a natural perception about the world around them, and an ability to articulate that perception. The most vibrant art I've experienced has been birthed from otherworldly insight, and most people I've met with those gifts aren't naturally hard workers. That's why The War of Art and the 10,000 Hour Rule are so valuable, but it's not as if anyone can write eight hours a day, five days a week and become a great writer.

Whatever natural writing talent is, whether it's genes or personality type or some intangible spirit, Lena Dunham has it up over her eyeballs.

Happy 60th birthday to David Byrne, born on May 14th, 1952 in Dumbarton, Scotland. Mostly I'm just using his birthday as an excuse to post one of my favorite live performances of all time (Adrian Belew on guitar!). Still, I really do hope he has a happy birthday.