This probably won't work, but if somehow this very funny poster, which will apparently be available at San Diego's Comic-Con, from one of my favorite shows, Bob's Burgers, ended up on my desk, I'd be a very happy fellow.

If that doesn't work out (and it won't), it's still hilarious. The advice on mouth-to-mouth is completely wrong and possibly dangerous, but quite amusing.

[Vulture]

From the July/August issue of the Atlantic, a new short story by Elmore Leonard is online for your reading enjoyment:

The day Victor turned twenty he rode three bulls, big ones, a good 1,800 pounds each—Cyclone, Spanish Fly, and Bulldozer—rode all their bucks and twists, Victor’s free hand waving the air until the buzzer honked at eight seconds for each ride, not one of the bulls able to throw him. He rolled off their rumps, stumbled, keeping his feet, and walked to the gate not bothering to look at the bulls, see if they still wanted to kill him. He won Top Bull Rider, 4,000 dollars and a new saddle at the All-Indian National Rodeo in Palm Springs. It came to … Jesus, like 200 dollars a second. That afternoon Victorio Colorado, the name he went by in the program, was the man.

He left the rodeo grounds as Victor to celebrate with two Mojave boys, Nachee and Billy Cosa, brought along from Arizona when the boss, Kyle McCoy, moved his business to Indio, near Palm Springs. The Mojave boys handled Kyle’s fighting bulls, bringing them from the pens to the chute where Victor, a Mimbreño Apache, would slip aboard from the fence, wrap his hand in the bull rope tight as he could get it, and believe he was ready to ride. He’d take a breath, say “Let me out of here,” and the gate would swing open and a ton of pissed-off bull would come flying out.

I couldn’t believe it when I first read it in the the Guardian but yet, this is an orangutan with a bad addiction.

Tori, the 15-year-old orangutan has been smoking cigarettes at the Indonesian zoo for a decade as a result of people throwing them in her cage over the years. Visitors continuously would throw lit cigarettes into her cage to watch her smoke them. Finally, after 10 years of this nonsense the zookeepers are planning on removing her from the zoo temporarily to help her break the habit.

My question is why wouldn’t they make the cage enclosed the first time Tori began smoking and was being taunted by the visitors. It is unfortunate because Tori thinks she is putting on a good show but she doesn't realize the harm she is doing to herself.

There are details beginning to emerge about a new Tucson restaurant called Urban Belly. The place doesn't have a location yet, but the chefs and other people backing the place are beginning work on what they will be serving, describing it in an e-mail like this:

Our cuisine can be called nostalgic, elevated, comfort food. Basically we take simple dishes like mac n cheese and pb&j, deconstruct them, add more modern technique to them and present in a classy way. Its a fun approachable way to eat.

The owners are looking for a location near or in the downtown area. We'll be back with more when we learn more.

I generally have mixed feelings about the internet, especially on days when I get a lecture from a commenter to "do a little research on what Islam" because my "worship of 'diversity' blinds" me to the real truth, but then there's something like io9's extensive look at the video for Billy Ocean's "Loverboy," which somehow includes a brief discussion of "epic theater":

Muppets of Disgust, Muppets of Eroticism: A Post-Lacanian Decalogy of Exegeses on The Extraterrestrials in Billy Ocean's "Loverboy"

In the 1939 edition of Walter Benjamin's essay "What is Epic Theater?," the author notes that:

The [Brechtian] art of the epic theater consists in producing astonishment rather than empathy. To put it succinctly: instead of identifying with the characters, the audience should be educated to be astonished at the circumstances under which they function.

And in the history of the music video, there is no greater example of epic theater than R&B superstar Billy Ocean's 1985 single "Loverboy." The audience is not only astonished by the circumstances under which the characters function, but the viewer also has no fucking clue what those circumstances are.

Most people would agree that Detroit is not the prettiest city in the U.S. Abandoned buildings litter sections the city, making it look a little post-apocalyptic in places. This dismal landscape is the perfect scene for a zombie-infested area. I'd thought this after I saw "I Am Legend" years ago, and it looks like I'm not the only one anymore.

A group of unconventional entrepreneurs have proposed taking those unused buildings and constructing a zombie-themed park called Z World Detroit. People could spend a night in Motor City and pretend that they're survivors of a zombie apocalypse, struggling to fend of hordes of the walking undead. I think it would be a brilliant way for the city to make use of all those buildings that are doing nothing more than slowly wasting away. If you're interested in checking the progress or helping fund this project, head over to the Z World Detroit Indiegogo page.

While it seemed that most Tucson sports fans were sent a little adrift by the back-to-back disappointments of the U of A football and basketball seasons, things are really turning around lately between the NCAA baseball championship and now, FC Tucson making the playoffs in their first season in one of American professional soccer's minor leagues, the PDL. The team needed a tie last night to mathematically guarantee themselves a playoff spot and that's what they got, one point from a 0-0 draw with the Ogden Outlaws. The site and opponent for the conference championship against an opponent from the Northwest Division (I'm hoping for the Kitsap Pumas, just because I like saying their name and look forward to figuring out where Kitsap is via Wikipedia) will be announced at a later date.

• From the Zachary's Pizza Facebook page

This is the saddest Tucson food news I've ever announced, but the world must know: Zachary's Pizza at 1028 E. Sixth St. is closing at the end of the month. An employee verified the closure when I called to check what I hoped was just a rumor.

I once took a man with a fatal disease to Zachary's. His illness had left him with no appetite, yet he ate almost two of the place's enormous slices. The pizza is that good. I've spent anniversaries there, made long-time friends there and consumed my body weight many times over in beer and pizza there over the years.

It's sad when just about any restaurant closes - even if the food leaves something to be desired, restaurant people work hard, long hours to feed us - but this one really stings. Thanks for all the great times Zachary's, and I'll be seeing you a lot over the next three weeks.

Why not add Arizona Illustrated's Political Roundtable to your Sunday news show viewing? Pima County Republican Party chairwoman Carolyn Cox, Pima County Democratic Party chairman Jeff Rogers and former state lawmaker Pete Hershberger talk about a report determining that Tucson Councilman Paul Cunningham sexually harassed city employees, a TUSD proposal to close small TUSD schools and build new, larger ones, and some of the most interesting races of 2012.

Well, I guess we should have seen this coming: boutique hotels are offering Fifty Shades of Grey packages, although I would imagine you'd need to bring your own controlling multi-millionaire carrying along a sex contract.

The saddest part of this video for me is when there's a brief glimpse of David Foster Wallace's The Pale King next to a giant stack of Fifty Shades.... Wallace's unfinished posthumous novel about the IRS and boredom doesn't stand a chance against tales of anal beads and blindfolds, really.