The Downtown Parade of Lights is one of my favorite Tucson events, largely because it's equally strange and sincere in its execution. Local "celebrities" rolling down the street in classic cars accessorized with a few strands of lights? Sure! Star Wars enthusiasts in costume? Absolutely! A church-sponsored float asking that Christ be put back in Christmas followed by a vintage Budweiser delivery truck? More, please!

If you want the opportunity to win prizes (best entry wins $500 in what I assume is actual money and not gift certificates) and be part of this annual event, time is running out to get in on the illuminated action. Applications and entry fees (ranging from $150 for "National Commercial Entries" to a freebie for marching bands) are due this Friday, the 30th. The PDF sign-up form is here.

Hundreds of parents, students, teachers and community members filled the Catalina Magnet High School Auditorium for Tucson Unified School District's special Governing Board meeting concerning potential school closures.

Many held signs bearing messages of support and almost 50 people spoke during the two hour call to the audience.

Here are a few images from the night.

• Mariana Dale
• Students, parents and teachers shouted cheers of support as the auditorium filled before the special meeting began. "The meetings never meant anything to me, but now it's affecting me and my family," said 13-year-old Valerie Verdugo, a Pueblo Gardens eighth grader.

• Mariana Dale
• Valeria Verdugo, 11, is a sixth grader at Pueblo Gardens Prek-8 School. Every time a supporter of their school addressed the audience the group stood in solidarity.

• Mariana Dale
• Lyons Elementary School supporters applauded a speaker.

State Out of the Union author and former Tucsonan Jeff Biggers recently interviewed former Tucson Unified School District Mexican-American studies co-founder and former director Sean Arce about the district's desegregation proposal and the future of MAS and the program's former teachers.

You can read the entire post here. Snippet:

Jeff Biggers: According to the proposed Unitary Status Plan, TUSD must hire (or designate) a Coordinator of Culturally Relevant Pedagogy and Instruction, and implement core courses in social studies and literature that reflect the history, experiences and cultures of African American and Latino Communities. What role should you, as the co-founder of MAS and former director— and other MAS teachers— play in shaping this new Culturally Relevant Pedagogy and Instruction program?

Sean Arce: I believe that the former MAS teachers and myself to be the experts in the district in Culturally Relevant Pedagogy, Curriculum, and Instruction. Since 1998, we have been the teachers with the vision and the wherewithal to successfully deliver this pedagogy and curriculum in both social studies and literature even within a context of a hostile educational environment towards Latinas/os that the Tucson Unified School District had created. In short, the MAS teachers and I, as a collective, are the only cohesive unit within TUSD who can successfully implement what is called for in the Unitary Status Plan. Moreover, I believe that we are the only group of teachers who have the capacity to build upon the successful program that we had in MAS.

Rep. Ron Barber is currently in Tucson, recovering from a minor surgery that will keep him from attending votes this week in Washington.

From Barber's office:

TUCSON — The office of U.S. Rep. Ron Barber today announced that Barber will remain in Tucson during votes in Washington this week after undergoing minor surgery on Monday.

“Congressman Barber was released from the hospital earlier today after a successful surgery,” Barber’s doctor, Audrey Erman, M.D., said. “He is expected to make a full recovery.”

The surgery yesterday successfully removed a cancerous tumor from Barber's tongue. He learned of the tumor on Nov. 13.

Barber is at home in Tucson, recovering. He is feeling good and looking forward to getting back to work in Washington, D.C. next week.

Barber defeated Republican challenger Martha McSally earlier this month in a long, drawn-out race to represent Congressional District 2 that was decided by just more than 2,400 votes.

Today, Senator Jon Kyl's office announced that he, in partnership with Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, introduced legislation that would give young, undocumented residents of the United States, brought here as children, a path to citizenship.

But, just in case you thought it might be, it's not the DREAM Act. After all, that provides a special path to citizenship, and we can't have that, can we?

No, this is the similarly cheerful-sounding ACHIEVE Act, which creates potential roads to citizenship for undocumented immigrants without creating some sort of special, unfair path that skips most of the board and proceeds directly to Go. It's just, y'know, new legislation to do so.

When the Range covered last week's Tucson Unified School District's governing board special meeting on school closures, TUSD used the Catalina Magnet High School auditorium.

Yesterday, TUSD sent out a press release that a continuance of that meeting scheduled for today, Tuesday, Nov. 27, would not be held in the governing board room at the district's administration building, but once again at Catalina to make sure there was adequate room.

The meeting, which looks at schools on TUSD's closure and consolidation list, will focus on schools the board requested more information on from district staff before making a decision. Once a list is complete, the district will have a two public hearings next month.

Added to the list for tonight discussion is Wakefield Middle School and Santa Rita High School.

While last week's special meeting received some criticism on the legality of that meeting and past TUSD school board meetings, this week's meeting received shots for competing with the second special master desegregation hearing tonight at Pueblo Regional Center. Mexican-American studies advocate Miguel Ortega was the first speaker at yesterday deseg hearing at Tucson Magnet High School, and he mentioned to the special master the two meetings being schedule on the same night and what he consider the continue disrespect of of the community by TUSD.

Here is the deseg info you need to know while figuring out if you're going go all Star Trek and transport yourself from one meeting to another tonight, or go to TUSD special meeting tonight and the last deseg meeting at Palo Verde High School tomorrow:

The plan is being made available for public review at each TUSD school and online at tucsonusp.com. Public forums continue Tuesday, Nov. 27, at El Pueblo Regional Center; and Wednesday, Nov. 28, at Palo Verde High School. The public comment period closes Nov. 28. A revised plan with any changes will be filed with the court by Hawley on Dec. 10, and all parties involved in the negotiations have until Dec. 14 to file any objections to the changes.

A large crowd is expected at tonight's TUSD special meeting of parents, children and community members representing Manzo Elementary, as well as Hollinger and Pueblo Gardens. Catalina is located at 3645 E. Pima St. The meeting begins at 6:30 p.m. Depending on how many people participate in the call to audience, and how many times the governing board is willing to extend that call, the meeting could end as it last week — close to 11:30 p.m. Be prepared and, if you can, stay to the end.

For more info, go to tusd1.org/contents/govboard/gbagenda.html

From TUSD press release:

Two public hearings are scheduled for Dec. 8 (10 a.m.) and Dec. 10 (6 p.m.) at Catalina Magnet High School to allow the community to provide input to the governing board on schools for which closure has been initiated.

The governing board has also scheduled a special board meeting for Dec. 20 to consider the issue of finalizing any school closures.

Earlier today as part of a terrible PR move, Carnival Cruise Lines sent out a letter cracking down on customers who might choose to sail the seas fabulously in drag, claiming that they're aimed to preserve "a family friendly atmosphere". Sending out a letter threatening to kick anyone off a cruise for dressing in drag seemed strange enough in 2012, but when the cruise features entertainment from the show RuPaul’s Drag Race (including such stars as Pandora Boxx and Alaska Thunderfuck) then clearly, all logic had gone out the window:

In a letter sent to guests on the upcoming trip, the cruise line wrote; “Arrangements have been made for drag performances in the main theater featuring stars from LOGO TV. These functions will be private and only the performers are permitted to dress in drag while in the theater. Guests are not allowed to dress in drag for the performances or in public areas at any time during the cruise.”

To be very, very clear, LOGO TV had absolutely nothing to do with this decision or this letter or was even aware of its existence until alerted by someone attending the cruise.

Do they know who goes on these cruises? Because let us tell you, nothing makes some queens happier than seeing a performer they love while in drag. So that’s a bit rude and ridiculous and kind of a major problem.

Oh wait, it gets worse (before it got better).

“We’re sorry to say that any guest who violates our policies and/or whose behavior affects the comfort and enjoyment of other guests, will be disembarked at their own expense and no refund will be given.”

One would have thought that Carnival, which has had a connection to drag queens dating back to the 1980s when they used Kathie Lee Gifford as a spokesperson, would be a bit savvier these days—and it turns out that, shockingly, they are.

Just as quickly as the controversy arose, the company moved to squash it, claiming they originally believed any wearing of drag would be confined to the performers and the performance area, but they're going to deal, as long as guests are able "to present government-issued ID, and to be recognizably that person."

Order has returned to the universe, everyone. Go back to whatever you were doing.

Quora is a question and answer site that I have never heard of before, but find fascinating. Apparently, it's a discussion site, not unlike the often-maligned Yahoo! Answers, where users ask each other questions and are encouraged to answer one another in often entertaining ways.

That said, in the hypothetical battles section of Quora—which makes me happy simply by existing—someone asked which American state would win, were they all to declare war against the others. Note that in this hypothetical, there is no foreign intervention in any way.

Well, discharged Marine Jon Davis has the answer, which comes in the form of a sprawling, oral-history style account, not unlike the stellar novel World War Z. There are even graphics!

The first real occupation attempts happened when attempts were made to secure more assets.

The Republic of Texas sought to gain strategic advantages in the Central United States. To do this they sought to gain two strategic assets. The first was control of Whiteman AFB the home of the B-2 bomber program. The base was easily secured and the most coveted military bomber in the world was now in the hands of the Republic of Texas. The next was control of Colorado and her military installations of great value. Then finally was access to the Mississippi River. Two main offenses took place to do just that. The First Battle of New Orleans involved a massive force occupying the city to claim it as a port and artery for future engagements. In Colorado they met stiff resistance as many of the Texas military were unfamiliar with Mountain warfare. Colorado's major bases fell quickly since Colorado enjoys the smallest force to fight back the Texans, but they adapted an unconventional warfare stance that kept the Texans on edge for months. Still, at this point the mission behind taking Colorado had been achieved—control over its military bases and strategic assets. The insurgency does however slow down the growth of Texas.

New York pushed Northward. They pushed to claim all of New England and the food wealth they will need to supply their people now that resources from the Midwest are no longer available. The take over is mostly peaceful as many of the states have large, but mostly non-military populations. They encountered problems when large groups of refugees tried to flee to Canada and rioting ensued.

Illinois was calm. The Midwest Alliance grew steadily by seeking to secure the Great Lakes. They were able to take Ohio through a few fierce, but brief encounters. They also took on Minnesota and the mouth of the Mississippi River.

The West coast was now controlled by the two main powers—California with it's seat of power in San Francisco and The North East Union centered in Seattle. California gained support and taken control of all the states West of the Continental Divide and South of the Union. The North East Union pushed as far as Wyoming.

There is more—so, so much more—as the story tops out around 6,500 words, and it's worth a look solely to sate some morbid curiosity that one may or may not have developed amid the (empty) talks of secession that have been bandied about over the last few weeks.

For the record, Arizona has absolutely nothing of consequence to do in this potential war, being gobbled up by the "Californian Union of Democratic States." Take that as you will, rabid statists (which I assume is a more localized term for nationalists).

A stunning report Department of Homeland Security report, uncovered by ProPublica.org, has turned out news that Homeland Security employees nationwide have not been trained in how to properly communicate with each other via radios that are supposed to be tuned to a particular, common channel.

Somehow, that isn't a surprise. What is, however, is the fact that the program to introduce these radios and their common frequency has cost more than $430 million since its inception nine years ago.

From ProPublica.org:

Only one of 479 DHS employees surveyed by the inspector general’s office was actually able to use the common channel, according to the report. Most of those surveyed — 72 percent — didn’t even know the common channel existed. Another 25 percent knew the channel existed but weren’t able to find it; 3 percent were able to find an older common channel, but not the current one.

The investigators also found that more than half of the radios did not have the settings for the common channel programmed into them. Only 20 percent of radios tested had all the correct settings.

The radios are supposed to help employees of Customs and Border Patrol, the Transportation Security Administration, the Coast Guard, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the Secret Service, and other agencies with DHS communicate during crises, as well as normal operations.

You can read the report from the DHS Inspector General for yourself here.

I just finished reading the first episode of the final season of Breaking Bad and words can not express what I just experienced. Holy shit.
— Aaron Paul (@aaronpaul_8) November 27, 2012

I had largely managed to shove thoughts of Breaking Bad out of my head for now, knowing that the series' final eight episodes won't air until summer of 2013, but now I get to spend the day wondering what could be so shocking that Aaron Paul would be compelled to send the above tweet. So long, productivity!