Talking Points Memo untangles the mess unfolding in the U.S. Senate over the expansion of unemployment benefits:

The push to revive jobless benefits for some 1.4 million long-term unemployed Americans is — still — going nowhere fast in the Senate, bogged down by a series of excruciating procedural hurdles and disputes.

The latest: Republicans filibustered two test votes on Tuesday, complaining that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) wasn't playing fair on amendments. An 11-month extension that was paid for received 52 votes, short of the 60 senators needed to move forward. A second vote on a clean three-month extension won over 55 senators and was also blocked.

The Arizona Democratic Party blasts Sens. John McCain and Jeff Flake for their opposition to an extension of the benefits for the long-term unemployed:

The latest shooting: Two children, an 11 and a 13 year old, were shot by a 12 year old with a sawed-off shotgun in a New Mexico middle school yesterday. Both of the injured children are alive — no recent reports on their conditions. A teacher talked down the shooter, so he wasn’t hurt.

In a sane world, an aggrieved, upset 12 year old should have recourse to a number of options. He can talk to his parents. He can talk to adults at school. He can be taken to a mental health professional. He can even figure out a way to get back at the kid he’s mad at, including beating the snot out of him. All of those options have their up and down sides, but none of them involve lethal force. No one should be in the hospital in critical condition because a 12 year old, rightly or wrongly, has a grudge against another child.

A work of animatronic genius.

• Joie Horwitz
• Enjoy the spicy lobster roll while you can.

Umi Star has closed their Campbell location, effective immediately, a few months after their October re-opening.

From the press release, a quote from owner Jason Anderson:

“It’s unfortunate that Umi won't stay in that location, but I’m confident that a different spot with more space will make all the difference. We are very appreciative to all of the loyal Umi customers that Tucson has given us over the last year and a half.” says Anderson. “We have three new concepts on the way to keep them happy and I’m trying to stay focused on getting the first of those, Nox, open[ing] in the old Cafe Jasper space at Skyline and Campbell in early February. It’s a great new concept that we designed specifically for that location.”

The concepts Anderson refers to? One, Nox, which will feature "New American cuisine with some Latin and Asian influences" is scheduled to open in February. Two, Original ChopShop Co., a healthy-food-salad-sandwich-type chain with a few locations in the greater Phoenix area, scheduled for late April. Three, Hudson on Fourth Avenue, which is still a bit of a mystery.

More info when we get it.

3TV political editor Dennis Welch gets a money quote from state Sen. Don Shooter (R-Yuma):

Four years after the Fiesta Bowl scandal left a black mark on the state legislature, Sen. Don Shooter says freebies like football tickets help supplement his pay.

“$24,000 a year,” Shooter said referring to his legislative salary, “Give us a raise, we’ll buy our own tickets.”

Meanwhile, the Arizona Capitol Times reports that GOP leaders want to hand out money to former lawmakers who are part of a lawsuit over SB 1070:

The proposal would provide $50,000 each to the Arizona Senate and House of Representatives to cover the legal fees of the current and former state officials who are being asked to produce documents in federal court. The measure would limit the use of the fees to each individual’s capacity as a current or former elected official.

Funds would not be used for the production of campaign-related materials.

The ACLU subpoena is looking for potentially embarrassing correspondence:

The subpoenas specifically ask for personal communications — including personal email, text, written notes, campaign literature, social media postings and other forms of communication — that contain words such as “beaner,” “alien,” “spic,” “illegals,” “wetback,” “assimilation,” “Aztlan,” “Hispanic,” “profiling” and “Reconquista.” The documents also include neutral words such as “English,” “Spanish,” “Mexico,” “day labor” and “immigration.”

Jimmy Fallon and Bruce Springsteen send up Chris Christie's Bridgeghazi scandal in hilarious fashion.

I'm not super-invested in the whole Arizona vs. Arizona State (aka Girls Gone Wild University and Casino) thing — after all I graduated from Oregon State, one of the top two universities in the state of Oregon — and of course, anything created to hype a giant fundraising project is going to indulge in a bit of overdramatics, but the language in the above video, showing off renderings of the forthcoming renovation of Sun Devil Stadium, is truly spectacular. It takes "bravery" to have the vision to take a ton of money and fix up an outdated home for an occasionally successful football program, complete with giant screens and escalators?

"We are not the first Sun Devils. And we won't be the last. Our inheritance is here; a gift to our generation." Where can I hand over my life savings, Michael Crow? I want my lasting contribution to society to be a slab of concrete that will be outdated a few years after its built. Tough break, cancer research projects!

Sigh.

• Image courtesy of Santa Cruz Valley Heritage Alliance.
• You should ask Jim Nintzel to mix you a "Kitty Pryde."

You might know Jim "The Fastball Special" Nintzel from his expert journalism skills here at the Weekly and weekly AZ Public Media news show. Nintzel is going to join some local personalities to bartend from 4 to 6 p.m. on Wednesday, Jan. 22, at Downtown Kitchen + Cocktails, 135 South Sixth Avenue. All the tips collected will go to the Santa Cruz Valley Heritage Alliance. You should tip big if you care about the region’s heritage and stuff.

You should get good old Nintzel to pour you a drink and ask him why they call him the "Fastball Special." It's a good story. I promise.

Click here for more information about this charity Heritage Happy Hour event. The flier says to email Vanessa or call 623-7700 for dinner reservations.

It's still a little rough out there in the job market (thanks, Obama!), but as a public service to the un- and underemployed, the Weekly is happy to point out notable online job listings when we stumble upon them.

Today, it's the President and Publisher gig at the Arizona Daily Star, conveniently posted on Craigslist in the Business/Management section, right next to an offer to "HELP OUR ORGANIC BRAND BECOME FAMOUS" and a Spanish language ad promising the "FREEDOM TO BE IN BUSINESS FOR YOURSELF."

Unfortunately, whoever is posting high-level executive positions for the Star on den-of-scams/place-to-get-a-slightly-stained-couch Craigslist did not adopt the site's standard ALL-CAPS style, but you have to give them this, there's no shortage of detail (and, of course, business world buzzwords) in the post, from the hopeful applicant's ability to "effective transformational change management" to a desire for someone who has a "demonstrated track record in recruiting a World-Class leadership team."

Possibly worth noting, they're looking for some with "experience driving a successful turnaround or transformation," so draw your own conclusions on what that says about the current state of things over at Park and Irvington.

If you happen to be interested in the gig vacated by the Wisconsin-bound John M. Humenik, have a Bachelor's degree and at least five years in a top leadership role, feel free to apply now. Based on recent trends, I imagine the eventual successful applicant will be determined by a bracket of some sort and voting on Facebook.