I don't now how long this video will stay up—Morgan Freeman's voice from the March of the Penguins, with video from American Juggalo.

You're welcome.

Norm McDonald stars as the voice of a pigeon (sure) in a forthcoming Adult Swim show (of course) where an animated Mike Tyson (seemingly voiced by Mike Tyson himself) solves Scooby Doo-like mysteries (why not?). No word on when the actual show premieres, but between this and Black Jesus, I might not watch another cable channel ever.

In other news, our own Henry Barajas went to Comic-Con where this trailer premiered and failed to mention its existence to any of us. THANKS FOR NOTHING, HENRY.

These weren't Talking Tina dolls, or Mrs. Beasley, like we had in my day (OK, who else put on her glasses and thought it was cool and not freakly?)—nope, porcelain dolls left on the doorsteps of homes in an Orange County neighborhood. The woman who left the dolls thought she was doing something nice and cool, but her super-tight OC neighbors are freaks and called the police.

OK, so by definition, I agree that porcelain dolls are creepy, but geesh, in this day and age, seems like you can't do anything nice anymore.

From Channel 7 San Diego:

A Southern California woman who attends her Orange County community's church decided to clear out her doll collection and surprise her neighbors with the dolls, leaving some residents stumped and "disturbed" by a resemblance to some neighborhood children.

The slew of deliveries began July 16 with at least eight San Clemente families finding porcelain dolls on their doorsteps.

While residents said they felt creeped out and "disturbed" over fears someone was trying to scare the Talega neighborhood of San Clemente, investigators learned Thursday night that the woman's intentions were pure.
"The woman attended church with many of the impacted families," Orange County Sheriff's Lt. Jeff Hallock said.

The woman said she was clearing out an old doll collection and thought of some young girls in the neighborhood who might enjoy them, Hallock said.

It was not clear why the woman did not leave a note or tell the residents about the dolls.
Earlier Thursday, residents said they were afraid of the reason behind the toys.

"I'm actually thinking the worst, like someone creepy watching our children and I'm actually pretty scared about it," resident Mary Robin Baziak said. "(Someone) found a China doll on her stop that looked like her daughter."

"It's really creepy and disturbing. As a mom with a daughter, it freaks me out," another neighbor said. "Hopefully it's a prank and not someone with very bad motives."

• FACEBOOK

King of the Internet and former Star Trek Enterprise commanding officer George Takei has cast his magical meme wand over Tucson for the second time this year with his Facebook and Twitter posts of a crudely Photoshopped headline page of the Arizona Daily Star on Sunday. The image of the fake story touted an erroneous, sexually charged acronym that a local artist created as a parody of the city's Sun Link Streetcar.

As of 4:00 p.m. today, Takei's Facebook post of the "Tucson Loves the C.L.I.T.T." hoax story image had more than 24,000 shares, 62,000 likes and almost 5000 comments from his page, which boasts more than 7.3 million followers. A Twitter share of the article's screenshot, which featured sexual imagery envisioning the streetcar as "going down south on 4th Ave until sliding underneath the 4th Ave Underpants," had been retweeted more than 700 times and garnered 900-plus "favorites" among his 1.7 million fans.

Tucson had previously popped up on Takei's radar in February of this year during a heated national debate surrounding anti-gay legislation, of which Arizona's SB 1062 was particularly extreme. After Takei reposted an image of a sign in Tucson's Rocco Little Chicago Pizzeria's window protesting the bill, owner Rocco DiGrazia was propelled into the international spotlight. DiGrazia found himself being interviewed by media outlets of all sizes—from the UK's Guardian, the New York Times and Al Jazeera, right on down to an obscure LGBT blog based in Germany.

Since the one-note joke parody Facebook page was created on July 11, Ride the CLITT and its fictional acronym C.L.I.T.T. (Community Link Integrated Transit of Tucson) had many Facebook users wondering if the page was an official, awkwardly titled Sun Link-sponsored page or an Onion-like parody. To further add to the confusion, official Sun Link press release posts were mixed with Ride the CLITT's own photoshopped maps and promotions, all of which were dripping with innuendos and double entendres.

The page was actually the brainchild of longtime local art activist and Food Truck Roundup creator David Aguirre. In a statement sent to the Tucson Weekly on July 14, Aguirre explained his motivation: "Ride the C.L.I.T.T. has a $100 budget for advertising on Facebook. [...] I hope the page will inspire others to get out there and make stuff up informing us who we are as a community." Aguirre had also cited Seattle's similar "Ride The S.L.U.T" web prank as inspiration.

Just in case you wanted to remind yourself once again how lucky we are to have such a great state Attorney General, why not take a look at Tom Horne and team's legal filing this week with federal court that by golly the reason Arizona can't have marriage equality is they can't produce children "at least not without the help of a third person."

Ok, ok, so sarcasm ... Here's the legal file and keep it in mind this election season:

Ariz-Connolly-v-Roche.pdf

From Capitol Media Services' Howard Fischer:

Attorneys for the state are telling a federal judge there’s a good reason Arizona won’t let gays marry: They can’t reproduce, at least not without the help of a third person.

Papers filed in federal court defending the ban say voters, in approving the constitutional amendment in 2008, are entitled to “define marriage for their community.” But the lawyers also are arguing to U.S. District Court Judge John Sedwick there’s a public purpose in the state getting into the business of regulating private relationships: Ensuring that children are, whenever possible, raised by a biological mother and biological father.

“Only man-woman couples are capable of furthering the state’s interest in linking children to both of their biological parents,” argued attorneys from the Alliance Defending Freedom. And they said the vast majority of such couples produce their own biological children.

But gay marriages, the lawyers said, “do not advance that compelling state interest” because they “can never provide a child with both her biological mother and her biological father.” About the closest they can come, the legal papers argue, is by involving a third person who will be a biological parent.

First the New Yorker has 20 pages of ads and New York events. Then the first feature in every issue is "The Talk of the Town," a series of short (for the New Yorker) pieces about cultural and political issues. Here's how it began in the July 28 issue:

CROSSING BORDERS
Last Tuesday, a crowd of angry people gathered on a road in Oracle, Arizona, a small town near Tucson. They’d heard that about fifty children from Central America—some of the unaccompanied thousands who have crossed the border in recent months—were being brought to a youth home nearby, and they wanted to turn them back. Then someone spotted a yellow bus down the highway. “Bus coming in,” Adam Kwasman, a Republican state legislator, tweeted. “This is not compassion. This is the abrogation of the rule of law.” With supporters and cameramen in tow, he charged toward the bus. It drove away, but not, Kwasman told a reporter, before he had got a look at the passengers. “I was able to actually see some of the children in the bus—and the fear on their faces,” he said. The reporter replied, “You know that was a bus with Y.M.C.A. kids?” Only slightly ruffled, Kwasman acknowledged that he had made “a mistake,” as did many amused headline writers (“ARIZONA POLITICIAN MISTAKES Y.M.C.A. CAMPERS FOR MIGRANT CHILDREN”).

• Nicola Freegard

Approximately 60,000 passengers enjoyed free rides from the Tucson Sun Link Streetcar over the three-day Sunrise Over Sun Link celebration this weekend, according to the City of Tucson and the Regional Transportation Authority. The city estimated 17,000 passengers hopped on during Friday's Grand Opening celebration, 25,000 braved the heat on Saturday and approximately 18,000 people rode streetcars during Sunday’s twelve-hour scheduled service.

Sun Link Streetcar Project Manager Shellie Ginn said, “This weekend's ridership numbers are a clear indication of the interest and support the Tucson community shares for the Tucson Sun Link Streetcar system. We had a great first weekend and look forward to many more.”

• Nicola Freegard

More than 400 Tucsonans volunteered through the weekend, handing out free water, answering questions and assisting riders in getting on board the streetcars. By all accounts, Sun Link's service went on without a hitch, with happy riders and crowded businesses from its most western stop at Mercado San Agustin to the University of Arizona campus.

Sun Link started its first official day with fares this morning at 7:00 a.m., with one-way rides at $1.50, $4.00 for a day pass, and monthly passes starting at $42.00 with additional discounts available. The day passes can be purchased at kiosks on the 23 designated stops along the route by using either exact cash, debit or credit; find more details at Sun Link.

If you want to cast a ballot in this year's Aug. 26 primary election, you'd better by register by midnight tonight!

Most of the action is on the Republican side this year, with contested primaries in a variety of state offices—governor, secretary of state, attorney general, et al—and Southern Arizona congressional races. So if you want a ballot with a lot of choices, you should either register as a Republican or without a party preference so you can request a GOP ballot.

You can register online at servicearizona.com. Pima County Recorder F. Ann Rodriguez has a list of local spots you can find a registration form here. Rodriguez will also keep her downtown office open until 10 p.m. tonight for last-minute voters to sign up. Details here.