It's hard to imagine one election season encompassing the madness of pyramid conspiracy theories and reality TV stars turned viable candidates that this one has already, but here we are. Really, the whole thing has made a mockery of itself, so why not mock that mockery a little more and allow the pros to step in for some expert impersonations of the political persuasion.

If you haven't heard James Adomian and Anthony Atamanuik do their best Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump impressions, respectively, you clearly don't listen to enough Comedy Bang! Bang! (Heynong man, happy 400th episode!). As far as I can tell, you can reconcile that in two ways.

First, check out the episode of the podcast that features both Adomian (who also does a flawless Tom Leykis) and Atamanuik doing said impressions:


Then, grab tickets to their live debate at Rialto Theatre (318 E. Congress St.) on Thursday, March 3, which are available now through the Rialto Theatre's website for $15. The show starts at 8 p.m. and it is an all ages event (though, you should be warned that Atamanuik's Trump does talk about getting intimate with his daughter almost as much as the real Trump does).

Finally, be sure to register to vote. If you want to vote in the primaries, you have to sign up for whichever party you feel like getting down with by Feb. 22. That's less than two weeks away. Don't forget. 

Maybe you're a big fan of the Eagles, maybe you're looking for a way to celebrate Valentine's Day with your honey or maybe you're just all about events that benefit the Old Pueblo Rotary Foundation. Whatever the case, we're giving away five pairs of tickets to Eagles tribute band One of These Nights' Saturday performance.

One of These Nights promises exactly that…AN UNFORGETTABLE NIGHT!

Join One of These Nights as they take you on their version of a hit-filled show featuring the music of the Eagles, one of the most successful rock bands of all time. Our show takes the audience on a journey thru all Eagles’ “sounds,” from tasteful country rock, complete with full harmonies, to hard-rocking tunes that highlight the Eagles’ extraordinary catalogue.

The show of course features the band’s greatest hits, including ‘Hotel California,’ ‘Desperado,’ ‘Lyin’ Eyes,’ ‘Life in the Fast Lane,’ ‘Take it Easy,’ ‘Already Gone,’ ‘One of These Nights’ and many others; all presented in a highly entertaining production with uncanny accuracy. It was these and other EAGLES tracks that earned the band seven number-one singles, six Grammys, five American Music Awards and six number one albums.

John Waxman and JD Madrid have teamed up with fellow stellar musicians to create one of the best sounding Eagles tribute bands touring today. Recognized for their uncanny accuracy to the original, One of These Nights is a pure and simple tribute to the Eagles.

Co-Presented by Old Pueblo & Presidio Rotary

Proudly Sponsored by Beach Fleischman & Long Realty

The show starts at 7:30 p.m. at the Fox Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. 

Enter now and we'll call winners on Wednesday and Thursday. Not lucky enough to win? Pick up tickets online. 

Number one shape-shifter in indie rock: Go. If you didn't come up with Howe Gelb in that mix, you may not have been paying much attention the past 30 years. We had a lengthy interview with Gelb this morning in the wake of Pitchfork's announcement that Giant Sand is riding into the sunset. Gelb's immediate response was:

"I guess that's what it takes to get in Pitchfork after 30 years. You gotta quit to be posted," he says.

We spoke as the sun was setting outside the window of his Lisbon hotel room, because these days, Europe is as much Gelb's home as Tucson. More from that interview will be included in next week's Weekly. Meanwhile, here are what Gelb considered the most important points to make in response to the article.

"Puhleeez remember all the important points that I want to be in there... 'cause we only get one chance to say it and it has to be said right—specifically to the home town crowd."

John Slattery, the Sonoran Herbalist, is bringing his knowledge of our native flora back to the Food Conspiracy Co-op, and this time it's all about the acorns. You might think of these little nuts as those annoying projectiles that fall from trees, ruining your perfectly manicured lawn (nature needs to stop getting in the way of your landscaping—so rude), but, really, acorns can be used as a food source for more than just squirrels and other critters.

On Thursday, Feb. 17, Slattery will lead a class showing how to process acorns to eat, and, according to the event's page:

"Acorns are believed to be the most substantive food the human race has consumed throughout our time on this Earth. If that’s so, what are we waiting for?"

The class will feature a "detailed approach" to gathering, processing and cooking with acorns with a presentation and hands-on demonstration. It will include samples and recipes like cookies, bread, gnocchi, falafel, pizza crust, crepes and more.

Slattery's "Processing Acorns for Food" workshop will run from 6 until 8 p.m. It costs $10 to attend and you can sign up for the event now through the Food Conspiracy Co-op website.

This Valentine's Day, you'll probably be seeing metaphorical stars of love, but for those of us who aren't, Pima County Parks and Rec will host a night of actual stargazing with their "Night Under the Stars" event. 

There are two opportunities to learn about the stars from pros and semi-pros alike: one the night of Feb. 12 at the Historic Hacienda de la Canoa in Green Valley, and the other Feb. 13 at Agua Caliente Park here in Tucson. Volunteers from the Sonora Astronomical Society will help visitors learn about the night sky through telescopes at Canoa Ranch, and volunteers from the Tucson Amateur Astronomy Association will show event attendees how to use telescopes at Agua Caliente Park. Visitors can also take an optional self-guided tour at Canoa Ranch before the stargazing begins.  

Event organizers recommend visitors bring flashlights for after-dark walking and lawn chairs if they please. 

Both "Nights under the Stars" run from 6 to 8 p.m. For more information on the events, visit the Canoa Ranch website or email [email protected]. 

In 1952, an oil tanker called the Pendleton split in two during a blizzard off the coast of Cape Cod. All eight crewmembers who were in the stern at the time the boat broke in two perished. Thirty-three men initially survived in the bobbing bow section of the ship, mere hours away from certain death. Upon hearing news of the situation, a four-man crew boarded the smallish CG-36500 boat and set out to sea, a violently choppy sea, in search of the Pendleton and its crew.

Director Craig Gillespie has crafted an exciting sea-faring movie. That is, an exciting sea-faring movie when it is actually out at sea. Some of the stuff that happens back on shore bogs the movie down in schmaltziness.

Chris Pine plays Bernie Webber, who captains the tiny ship tasked with saving more than thirty men. Yes, this provides the opportunity for the guy who plays Captain Kirk to be called Captain a lot during the course of this film. It’s a slight distraction, but a good one nonetheless. Bernie rides into the belly of the beast with three crewmembers played by Ben Foster, John Magaro and Kyle Gallner. All four are terrific at looking scared shitless while being drenched and bounced about like a 5-year-old in a bounce house with a bunch of energetic and older fat people. Casey Affleck is terrific as a member of the Pendleton crew trying to keep everybody alive.

The film rocks when there’s lots of water involved, but it falters when the story turns to Bernie’s new love affair. Holliday Grainger is given a tough role to pull off as the love interest. Most of her scenes simply distract from the good stuff. 

The local chapter of Habitat for Humanity is looking for military veterans who need repairs done on their homes — at no cost to the homeowner.

The program is meant to improve the safety, condition, livability, and accessibility of homes owned by veterans. Projects also work to upgrade the energy efficiency of homes in order to reduce energy costs.

“We are promoting respect and dignity for our nation’s heroes,” said Habitat Tucson CEO, T. VanHook about the program. “We are committed to helping our veteran neighbors live in peace and safety. Habitat Tucson builds more than just homes.”

Know of a veteran who could benefit from free home repairs? Direct them to this website or to Shianna Searcy of Veteran Homeowner Services at 326-1217, extension 209. 

Habitat for Humanity also offers home ownership opportunities and other resources for veterans all over the Tucson metro area. For more information on those programs, visit habitattucson.org/veteran. All general inquiries can be directed to the Habitat for Humanity Tucson main office at 326-1217.

The Tucson Police Department has arrested a suspect for the unpleasant vandalism that temporarily disfigured the historic Fox Theatre last year. 

In the evening of April, 26, 2015, someone thought it was a good idea to graffiti the Fox's front doors. Photos of the incident began emerging the next morning.

It ended up costing $3,000 to clean up, according to TPD.

Earlier this month, two officers with TPD got tips on a possible suspect. They then corroborated the information with other agents in a graffiti investigation unit who were after a person responsible for other graffiti crimes throughout the city and Pima County—a total of $1,600 in damages, TPD says in its Facebook age.

On Feb. 4, 21-year-old Xavier Chavez was apprehended and booked into the Pima County jail on a class 5 felony charge of criminal damage, according to TPD's Facebook.

Updated on Wednesday, Feb. 24 at 11:45 a.m.:
The word "asshole" was removed from the headline due to popular demand.

If you're one of many Tucsonans who caught a mean case of jaguar fever after footage of the rare predator in the Santa Rita mountains was released last week, you can hang out with like-minded El Jefe fans and learn more about the native cat at an event hosted by the Center for Biological Diversity.

On Wednesday, Feb. 10, the organization will be hosting an event at Barrio Brewing Co. (800 E. 16th St.) to shed some light on the country's only known wild jag. The event, which runs from 6 until 9 p.m., will include unreleased photos and video of El Jefe, along with other northern jaguars. Free snacks will be served to pair with Barrio's new thematically-appropriate brew, the Santa Rita Jefeweizen. 

The Night of the Jaguar also aims to inform attendees about threats to El Jefe and his habitat, including the proposed Rosemont Mine and existing border security policies.

The event is free to attend, but organizers ask that you RSVP if you plan on joining.

In an interview with Q Magazine to promote XIXA's new release Bloodline, guitarist Gabe Sullivan talks about what he learned from Giant Sand's Howe Gelb:

My first experience on stage with Howe Gelb was a 35 minute excursion of sweating bullets and sheer guessing. Brian Lopez, Sergio Mendoza and myself had spent weeks working on the handful of songs Howe had asked us to learn for his induction into the Tucson “Tammies” hall of fame, only to be bludgeoned with songs we had never heard, and new chords to the songs we thought we knew. Since then I feel I’ve been immersed in the greatest music school there is, and it is called Giant Sand. Brian (who ranks high as one of my favorite songwriters) and I have taken this off the cuff, anything goes mentality into our new group, XIXA. There is no way in hell our music would sound like it does now if we hadn’t spent the last few years playing with Howe… and I dare say Howe might say the same about playing with us. Songwriting is a craft that should live and breathe and change with the world, and Howe has certainly instilled that in Brian and I. “Don’t insult the future by rehearsing” Howe often tells us… I can live with that.