Breakfast with Santa at Dutch Eatery. For the holiday season, The Dutch Eatery & Refuge is hosting a special meal with THE Santa himself. At the special stop, you can enjoy caramelized French toast, chile eggs, chia pudding and eggs Benedict. They’re even bringing out the
big guns, and serving traditional Dutch oliebollen, which are fried dough balls sprinkled with powdered sugar. 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 943 E. University Blvd. $17.50. Reservations are required, call 520-792-6684

Gingerbread House Decorating Class. Catalyst Arts & Maker Space is hosting a sweet hands-on experience for the holiday season. Tickets include your gingerbread house and all its decorations, plus you get to enjoy cocoa and cookies while you design. Hosted by Tamara, former proprietor of the Chantilly Tea Room & Gift Boutique. There are two classes, at 1 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. At Catalyst Arts & Maker Space in the Tucson Mall. 4500 N. Oracle Road, Suite 110. $60 admission for two.

Southern Arizona Women’s Chorus Holiday Concert. Tucson’s premier women’s chorus has been around since 1981, and has grown to more than 70 members. Over the years, they’ve sung everything from music from the late Baroque period to Broadway medleys to jazzy sambas. Their holiday concert, A Spanish Allelu, is a program that will either have you wanting to sing, or being glad that there are people who can sing so you don’t have to—depending on what kind of person you are. Either way, you’re in for a night of beautiful music. 6 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. at Hope City Church, 5729 E. 22nd St. 3 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 22, at Ascension Lutheran Church, 1220 W. Magee Road. $20, or free for kids 10 and under.

Season’s Greetings: Return to Sender. Tucson Desert Voices, Arizona’s premier LGBTQ+ chorus, is all about understanding, cooperation and peaceful coexistence. In fact, their mission statement is “Fostering Community Through Song.” Who could be better to perform during the holidays, a time that’s supposed to be all about loving your neighbor and goodwill toward humanity and all that jazz? They’ll be putting their own stamp on many of the messages of the season in this absolute romp of a show. 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 3 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 15. Tucson Jewish Community Center, 3800 E. River Road. $20 in advance or $25 at the door.

Messiah & Bach. There are few holiday experiences more vast and all-encompassing than a performance of Handel’s Messiah (or of highlights from it). Handel composed the music for this show in a frenzied 24 days, writing the letters “SDG” for Soli Deo Gloria (“To God alone the Glory”) at the end. This led to the popular story that he was divinely inspired to write “Messiah” when he saw heaven open up before his eyes. Who knows? But if you’ve ever seen the piece performed live, you sort of get the same feeling. The Tucson Symphony Orchestra is bringing you this in addition to several other holiday pieces, including Corelli’s Christmas Concerto, Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 and Handel’s Water Music, Suite No. 2. 4 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14, and 2 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 15. Catalina Foothills High School, 4300 E. Sunrise Drive. $46 to $86.

Art After Dark. Have you been to one of these late night events at the children’s museum recently? It’s a fun chance to explore the museum in a different setting than your usual daytime visit, and the first 400 attendees even get a pass to come back to the museum for free. This month, they’re showing A Muppet Christmas Carol in the courtyard, which, like all Muppet movies, is truly a masterpiece. Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat narrate! Kermit as the cutest little Bob Cratchit! Bring a blanket and some chairs, and get some hot chocolate and snacks once you’re there. 5:30 to 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. Children’s Museum Tucson, 200 S. Sixth Ave. Free.

Holiday Ornament Making. In case you haven’t been to Mission Garden yet, it’s a project led by Friends of Tucson’s Birthplace, an organization dedicated to recreating and preserving the city’s historic structures and landscapes. So, the garden is recreation of a Spanish Colonial fruit and veggie garden, complete with a native plant area and plenty of info on agricultural history. At this event, steep yourself in equal parts history, botany and holiday spirit by using items from the gardens, like gourds and okra pods, to make holiday decorations. 9 a.m. to noon. Saturday, Dec. 14. Mission Garden, 946 W. Mission Lane.

Winterhaven Festival of Lights Opening Night. Maybe you grew up in a town where there was always that one neighborhood that got particularly decked out for the holidays. You and your family would sip at hot chocolate and try to guess how many miniature light bulbs were on the roof of a local mansion. If you grew up in Tucson, you know that the Winterhaven Festival of Lights is on its own level. There are millions of lights on houses all through the neighborhood, with themes ranging from zoo animals to Frozen to classic Christmas movies. The streets are closed to cars so everyone can safely and freely take in the sights. And it’s a holiday experience like no other. Be sure to bring a food donation for the Southern Arizona Community Food Banks. 6 to 10 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14, to Sunday, Dec. 29. Winterhaven Neighborhood.

Queen Astara’s Winter Fairy Lights. Magic happens all year long at Valley of the Moon Tucson, where fairies roam freely (or at least where the magic of kindness is celebrated). Join the fairy monarchs, Queen Astara and King Astar, for a night where the magic of the Valley of the Moon and the magic of the holidays come together for an extra special experience. The grounds will be decorated with festive lights and decorations, and you can stroll through and keep an eye out for fairies and other magical creatures. Just be sure to keep your voice down, so you don’t spook them! You’re welcome to dress up if you’d like as well! 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. Valley of the Moon Tucson, 2544 E. Allen Road. $5, or free for members and kids 17 and under.

A Christmas Carol & Dickens Festival. Whether you watch the Muppets’ artful take on it, enjoy Bill Murray’s turn in Scrooged or just read the actual book, it’s sort of a must to see A Christas Carol during the holiday season. This year, why not watch a cast of professional and aspiring Tucson actors perform the musical version, complete with a live orchestra? You can also enjoy a preshow where you can hear “firsthand” from an actor playing Charles Dickens about how he thought up the story, and check out the free Dickens festival, with vendors like Frog & Firkin, treats, and caroling. Preshow & show at 6:20/7 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 13, at 1:20/2 p.m. and 6:20/7 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14 and at 1:20/2 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 15. Dickens Festival opens two hours before each show. Berger Performing Arts Center, 1200 W. Speedway Blvd. $15 to $29 in advance, with $5 added to prices at the door.

Holidays at the Markets. The local farmers market circuit provides plenty to celebrate all year ’round, but this week, they’re all having special holiday-themed events. On Friday, Dec. 13, Udall Park Farmers Market (7202 E. Tanque Verde Road) has live music and vendor specials. On Saturday, Dec. 14, Steam Pump Ranch (10901 N. Oracle Road) will have live music, more than 50 food vendors and artisan goods. Also on Saturday, the Rincon Valley Farmers & Artisans Market (12500 E. Old Spanish Trail) will have holiday kids activities, live music and vendor deals. And on Saturday, Dec. 15, the Rillito Park market (4502 N. First Ave.) will have live music, vendor specials, a free holiday raffle and 80+ vendors. Hours for all are 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

RAD Marketplace Winter Market. If you haven’t started your Christmas shopping yet, don’t panic! But do get started. You’ll feel better once you do. And you’ll feel doubly better if you support a local business while you’re at it. RAD Marketplace, an artisan and vintage popup market in the Warehouse Arts District, is hosting plenty of vendors selling gift-worthy items, live music, DJs, and food trucks. Nothing like a high-calorie plate of food truck food and beats from local musicians to fuel you through a holiday shopping spree. Give YOURSELF the gift of a pleasant gift shopping experience. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 439 N. Sixth Ave.

The Muppet Christmas Carol. Muppets were merry to begin with, so combining them with Dickens’ classic only sweetened the deal. This free screening, presented by the Children’s Museum Tucson, will be held outdoors in the December air. We all know the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, but when it’s combined with world of Jim Henson, it gains a new (not to mention colorful) life. However, one of the best aspects of the film doesn’t have to do with Muppets at all: Academy Award-winner Michael Caine’s fantastically dour performance. 6 to 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 200 S. Sixth Ave. Free. Please bring your own seating and dress warmly.

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Black House Black Friday. Craft, A Modern Drinkery is hosting a series of Modern Times beers for an event that’s actually worth rushing toward. The special taps are all Modern Times beers: Black House, a roasted coffee stout; Black House vanilla latte variant, for when you want that rich coffee flavor, but with just a bit of sweetness on top; the Astral Prism, a hazy DIPA that reaches up to 9 percent ABV; the Accumulated Knowledge New England IPA; and the big bad Pharaoh Ascendant, an imperial stout with a mighty 11 percent ABV. Modern Times representatives will also be on-site to answer questions. There will also be raffles and Molecular Munchies food truck. 6 to 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 13. 4603 E. Speedway Blvd.

Lessons & Carols by Candlelight: Songs of the Magi. This year, True Concord’s winter concert is inspired by the three wise men and the gifts they brought to the newborn baby Jesus. Spend an afternoon or evening in a church at one of five performances, for that candlelit church feeling that makes you feel cozy and safe, but absolutely tiny in the vast expanse of the universe all at once. 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 12, at Christ the King Episcopal Church, 2800 W. Ina Road. 7 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 13, at St. Francis in the Valley Episcopal Church, 600 S. La Canada Drive. 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14, at St. Philips in the Hills Episcopal Church, 4440 N. Campbell Ave. 3 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 15, at Catalina United Methodist Church, 2700 E. Speedway Blvd. 7:30 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 15, at St. Alban’s Episcopal Church, 3738 N. Old Sabino Canyon Road. $25 GA, $40 premium.

50th Annual Fourth Avenue Winter Street Fair. Holy cow. As if this event could be any more of a big extravaganza (it brings in more than half a million people every year), this is the golden anniversary edition. Get on down there for a day full of holiday shopping, shopping for yourself, live & local entertainment, and so much delicious fun. It’s one of those events that’s wonderful to walk around just for the spectacle, even if you end up not buying anything at all. And funds raised will support the infrastructure, surrounding neighborhoods and fellow nonprofits of Fourth Avenue. See ya at the fair! 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Friday, Dec. 13, through Sunday, Dec. 15. Historic Fourth Avenue, 434 E. Ninth St.






Lightwire Theater: A Very Electric Christmas. We try not to overuse words like “dazzling” here at the Weekly, but if ever there were a time to use it, it would be for this show, in which dancers and glow-in-the-dark puppets tell a story entirely through movement, set to holiday music by the likes of Nat King Cole, Mariah Carey and Tchaikovsky. The gist of the plot is about a young family of birds flying south for the winter, when young Max gets blown off course and winds up at the North Pole, where he runs into dancing poinsettias, caroling worms, Nutcracker soldiers and an evil rat king. Your kids will love it. You will love it. It’s lovable. 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 13. Fox Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. $19.50 to $37.50.

A Christmas Carol & Dickens Festival. Whether you watch the Muppets’ artful take on it, enjoy Bill Murray’s turn in Scrooged or just read the actual book, it’s sort of a must to see A Christas Carol during the holiday season. This year, why not watch a cast of professional and aspiring Tucson actors perform the musical version, complete with a live orchestra? You can also enjoy a preshow where you can hear “firsthand” from an actor playing Charles Dickens about how he thought up the story, and check out the free Dickens festival, with vendors like Frog & Firkin, treats, and caroling. Preshow & show at 6:20/7 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 13, at 1:20/2 p.m. and 6:20/7 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14 and at 1:20/2 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 15. Dickens Festival opens two hours before each show. Berger Performing Arts Center, 1200 W. Speedway Blvd. $15 to $29 in advance, with $5 added to prices at the door.

CreativeMornings December. If you’re a morning person, you’re going to love this free breakfast lecture series where guest speakers talk about a different theme each month. This month, Amy Munoz, VP for utilization management at CODAC Health, Recovery & Wellness, is speaking about the theme of silence at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Munoz has had a long career as a therapist specializing in trauma, brief solution-focused intervention and cognitive behavioral therapy. She’ll be talking about her years in the field and the power of silence in this dialogue that comes with networking, coffee, food and lots of free knowledge. 8:30 to 10 a.m. Friday, Dec. 13. MOCA Tucson, 265 S. Church Ave.

Holidays at the Markets. The local farmers market circuit provides plenty to celebrate all year ’round, but this week, they’re all having special holiday-themed events. On Friday, Dec. 13, Udall Park Farmers Market (7202 E. Tanque Verde Road) has live music and vendor specials. On Saturday, Dec. 14, Steam Pump Ranch (10901 N. Oracle Road) will have live music, more than 50 food vendors and artisan goods. Also on Saturday, the Rincon Valley Farmers & Artisans Market (12500 E. Old Spanish Trail) will have holiday kids activities, live music and vendor deals. And on Saturday, Dec. 15, the Rillito Park market (4502 N. First Ave.) will have live music, vendor specials, a free holiday raffle and 80+ vendors. Hours for all are 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Holiday Card Writing Party. You know who could use a little bit of holiday cheer? Pretty much everyone. People incarcerated in Arizona’s prisons are no exception. The American Friends Service Committee–Arizona, the ACLU and the Dunbar Pavilion are hosting this sixth annual event for you to experience some holiday cheer and then pass it on to someone who might need it even more. There’s music! There’s a holiday market! There’s a lip sync battle! And there’s FREE food, eggnog and hot cocoa! A good time for a good cause—isn’t that what the holidays are all about? 5 to 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 13. The Dunbar Pavilion, 325 W. Second St. Free.

Marana Winter Waterland. You’re probably familiar with the 5 C’s of Arizona by now, but over in Marana this December, it’s all about the 3 C’s of the holiday season: crafts, cocoa and carols! The city got a new splash pad this year, so they’re celebrating in their very own winter waterland. Don’t worry—you won’t need to suit up and go swimming or anything. But there will be a debut of a special, holiday-colored water show for you to ooh and ahh over. Live performers, vendors and kids activities round out the excitement. 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 13. Crossroads at Silverbell District Park, 7548 N. Silverbell Road. Free.

Friday, Dec. 13

Sisyphean in repetition. Meditating on the life of a traveling musician. These minstrels fill their bota bags from the ancient headwaters of the Mediterranean, mindful of the fullness of time. Xylouris White—comprised of vocalist/lutist Georgios Xylouris and acclaimed drummer Jim White (of legendary instrumental trio Dirty Three)—present an evening of progressive Cretan laouto compositions. “Till the Morning Comes.” At El Crisol (formerly Exo Bar). Kyklo performs an opening set...

Like a race car in the red, The 2019 Great Cover-Up barrels forward at Club Congress. Night 2 features: Armando Moreno & the Southern Revival, Eugene Boronow, Just Najima, Miss Olivia & the Interlopers, Natalie Pohanic, Paul Opocensky, Taco Sauce and The Muffulettas. Covering: The Pixies, The Eagles, The Doors, Lana Del Rey, Jeff Buckley, Cream, Chris Cornell and Al Green…

And for the Record, this veteran guitarist/songwriter has compiled a musical resume that includes work with Suzanne Vega and The Band’s Rick Danko. Slashing out rock and patchouli psychedelia, in an acoustic set, Luis Loucks-Tavares shares his “Sick Little Pleasure.” At Copper Mine Brewing Co…

Reggae music is for the heart and soul. African roots reggae artist General Tchefary & the Soldiers spread a message that traverses international borders and all aspects of humanity. At Movement Culture…

Drawing inspiration from a line in a Wu Tang Clan song, “Cash rules everything around me,” from the outset this scrappy screen printing and graphic design firm set its aim high—to achieve the near impossible—to make a living working in art. Cream Turns 3 celebrates the anniversary of their continued success with a food truck, beer tasting, live screenprinting and tie-dying. Wooden Tooth DJs set the mood. At 191 Toole…

A night of boundary pushing improvisation is on deck at Owls Club. S.R.S., Troubadours, Crab Birthday and Sonidenso drone sympathetically into the umbra of the night…

This acclaimed Yaqui guitarist has performed for a U.S. President and the Pope. Gabriel Ayala Quintet perform flamenco, classical and jazz influenced compositions. At Monterey Court…

Art and jazz. Saxophonist Autumn Dominguez leads her trio. The expressionistic art of Howard Kline, as backdrop, creates ambiance. At Bacio Italiano…

Americana/rock singer-songwriter Amber Norgaard on keys performs with violist/guitarist Seth Murzyn. At Sand-Reckoner…

“We Don’t Need a Manual.” Heck no. From SoCal—taking a roundabout route from their tour with T.S.O.L. to come play T-Town—The Walking Toxins fill Irene’s Holy Donuts with antigenic poison. Whiskey Drunk, Pretty Ugly, For Or Against and Gutter Town add to the overall level of toxicity…

“Parties & Vices.” The Boxyard hosts indie rockers Dirt Friends and experimental field recorders Night Weather…

Trance Forever: A Friday night monthly EDM happening. Special guest DJ del desierto Xochique joins residents turntablists. At Zen Rock…

Saturday, Dec. 14

Since the original members began singing together as kids at the Alabama Institute for the Negro Blind in the late 1930s, they have expanded past old traditions to forge a new gospel sound for the 21st century. Living legends/modern day pioneers/award-winning roots-gospel group The Blind Boys of Alabama are at the Rialto Theatre. Folk rock/country singer-songwriter Nicki Bluhm opens…

Singer-songwriters Annie Hawkins and Stuart Oliver, the Kate Becker All Stars and P.D. Ronstadt & the Company comprise the stellar line-up for 2nd Saturdays Downtown. At the Scott Avenue stage…

Über talented songstress Katie Haverly’s potency as an artist stems from her impassioned quest to find understanding. The pursuit of which is not rooted in desire. It is a need. Plotting a new course, Haverly and her band, The Aviary, will sneak peek Matter—her latest recording—from front to back in advance of its April 2020 release. At El Cristol (formerly Exo Bar). Loki Moon opens…

Night 3 of The 2019 Great Cover-up features: Diluvio, Eric Schaffer & the Other Troublemakers, Fitter Happier, Kvasura, Little Cloud, Mark Insley & the Broken Angels, Mike Dixon & Friends, Roll Acosta, Still Life Telescope and Stripes. Covering: Townes Van Zandt, Tom Waits, The Police, The Clash, REM, No Doubt, Guns and Roses, Dolly Parton, Arctic Monkeys and Alabama Shakes. At 191 Toole…

Backed by some of Tucson’s finest, Emilie Marchand sings jazz standards, ’60s soul and vintage country. In the courtyard at Mercado San Agustin…

Holiday Horns, a Yuletide extravaganza featuring the UA Horn Studio, is on the plaza at Hotel Congress…

Masters of dub reggae, Dub Society skank at Irene’s Holy Donuts, DJ Lion spins all night…

This Mexican Sierreño group’s song, the narco-corrido “Negro y Azul,” was featured on television drama series Breaking Bad, which ranked among the most-watched cable-shows on American TV. Los Cuates de Sinaloa are at Club 4th Avenue…

Sunday, Dec. 15

This L.A.-via-Bay Area artist honed his chops in the time-honored incubator of so many soulful sirens: The church. Sultry R&B/funk maker Harriet Brown (née Aaron Valenzuela) brings Mall of Fortune—his latest slow-burning dispatch—to the dance floor at Club Congress…

R&B electro-pop crooner, Seanloui requests the honor of your presence for a live recording. At Hotel Congress…

Tucson’s favorite skiffle band Golden Boots perform along with the downtempo cosmic weirdness of The Wanda Junes. At Owls Club…

Latin fusionists Santa Pachita provide the soundtrack for the International Day of Immigrants Rights. At Global Justice Center…

The next Arizona legislative session is on the horizon. Legislators are dropping bills ranging from the sublime — another attempt at ratifying the Equal Rights Amendment — to the ridiculous — prohibiting teachers from discussing the environment from an economic or social perspective.

It's never too early to talk about next year's K-12 education funding, even though the budget is usually the last thing the legislature votes on. So let's talk about it.

When I began blogging in 2008, I wrote a post, We’re Number One!.. In Lowest Per-Student School Spending. It was based on an article in the Star which cited a study putting Arizona at the bottom of the nation in per-student spending.

Ten years later, in 2018, we spent a thousand dollars less per student than in 2008 when you adjust for inflation. To get back to 2008's lowest-in-the-nation levels would have taken an additional billion dollars. We caught up a little this past legislative session thanks to pressure from the #RedforEd movement, but not much. We're still spending significantly less per student than we did a decade ago.

According to the state rankings for 2017-18 from the National Education Association, Arizona's per-student funding is $8,123. It's better than Utah and Idaho, but that's it. We're third from the bottom. The national average is $12,920, half again as much as we spend. You might find different figures elsewhere depending on how the numbers are crunched, but the NEA's are in the same ballpark as most other sources, and since it uses a consistent methodology across the country, we can compare spending state to state.

We have about a million students in our district and charter schools, which means it takes a billion dollars to add a thousand dollars per student. Arizona is $4,800 below the national average, so just to be average, we would have to spend another $4.8 billion a year.

It's true, Arizona isn't a rich state. It's possible average is more than we can manage. Maybe third from the bottom is the best we can do.

Or maybe not. I looked at what four southern states spend per student: Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana and West Virginia. All four states have a median income about $10,000 lower than Arizona's. According to a listing of states from richest to poorest, they rank among the five poorest states, while Arizona comes in at 27. Yet all four states have figured out how to spend significantly more per student than Arizona, between a thousand and four-and-a-half thousand more.

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On Thursday, Dec. 12, NASA announced that the OSIRIS-REx spacecraft will attempt to collect samples from the "Nightingale" crater site on the asteroid Bennu. The OSIRIS-REx spacecraft is on an asteroid study and sample-return mission, led by University of Arizona planetary science professor Dante Lauretta.

"This [site] really came out on top because of the scientific value," Lauretta said. "The high latitudes means it stays relatively cool, and the primary objective of OSIRIS-REx is to bring back organic material and water-bearing material from the early solar system. And being in those high latitudes we think gives us the best chance to preserve that kind of material."

The surface of the asteroid Bennu is far rockier than scientists originally thought, making sample retrieval difficult. OSIRIS-REx will not land on Bennu to collect a sample of its surface, but rather use a "touch-and-go" system, approaching the surface and spraying a jet, capturing some of the ejected particles. The sample collection sites are no larger than a few parking spots, and often surrounded by large boulders.

"The biggest challenge of the Nightingale site are those large boulders off on the Eastern edge of the crater," Lauretta said. "Quite honestly, I thought it was going to be obvious from the first images where the sample regions were and that it was going to be a straightforward site selection, and it was nothing of the sort."

OSIRIS-REx launched on Sept. 8, 2016 and reached the proximity of Bennu on Dec. 3, 2018. In the year since, OSIRIS-REx has orbited the asteroid while researchers mapped its surface. The spacecraft is expected to return to Earth with its sample in September 2023.

NASA estimates the sample collection can retrieve upwards of "30 sugar-packets" worth of carbonaceous dust and rock from Bennu's surface.

OSIRIS-REx (Origins, Spectral Interpretation, Resource Identification, Security, Regolith Explorer) is described as "NASA's most ambitious sample-collection mission since Apollo".

Prior to sample collection, researchers have already learned a lot about Bennu, including that it is one of the darkest objects in the solar system, it is packed with more than 200 boulders larger than 33 feet in diameter, and hydrated minerals on its surface indicate it encountered water at some point in its past.

Giving a whole new meaning to punch line

“I feel like, as opposed to LA, everyone in Arizona can actually defend me in a fight,” says comedian Jamie Kilstein. He likes it here. That’s a lucky thing because five months ago he moved here on a whim. “I have actually grown more (here) artistically than in my life in L.A. and New York,” he says.

Not that those great comedy cities treated him badly. He debuted on Conan. He’s been on MSNBC's Up with Chris Hayes, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Showtime, The Joe Rogan Experience and BBC America. He launched two podcasts, and he earned a national reputation for smart, edgy political comedy, joking about arcana that actually matters. He’s lately joking about other facts of life, but all the high-speed punches arise from the same energy.

Kilstein performs with fellow cult favorite Ian Harris and Albuquerque up and comer Ron Swallow at 8 p.m. Sunday, December 15 at 191 Toole.

Kilstein and Harris became friends in Los Angeles. “We kind of clicked because we both have political material. Oddly enough, we also train and coach Mixed Martial Arts.

“I think people who fight oftentimes don’t have much of an ego because we get our ass kicked a lot,” he says. “So, the idea of splitting a bill was more exciting to us. I just want to make art with people I like.”

Ian Harris started both fighting and doing impressions at age 6, inspired by the movie, Rocky. “As a kid I’d watch all the boxing matches,” Harris says, “and I would do all the play by plays and the interviews after the fight for my parents. I would be Muhammed Ali being interviewed by Howard Cosell.”
He says his whole family were really funny, so it’s not surprising that he would find jokes everywhere, even in taboo subjects. “I can’t avoid it. Even on accident I talk about religion or politics. Those are the things that interest me. Bur I personally steer away from (drug humor). I don’t do a lot of alcohol or relationships.” Nor do either he or Kilstein do jokes about martial arts.

“I think a lot of my stuff comes from a very nerdy kind of scientific background,” Harris says. “Like ‘Look at these weird beliefs. Conspiracy theories, religion, and why do we believe in these things when the evidence so clearly is the other way.”

Of the show, he says, “It’s going to be nerdy and edgy. I think it’s going to be really fun.” Tickets are $12 and $15 via Rialtotheatre.com. Doors open at 7.

Mega Lineup at Casa Marana

Dave Margolis presents a blockbuster lineup at the December 12 edition of his free semi-monthly Casa de Comedy Show at Casa Marana. Featured are Andrea Salazar, Nick Chant, Dominic DiTolla, Ashley Anna Tappan, Stephanie Lyonga, Monte Benjamin Roxy Merrari and Charles Ludwig. Most have headlined bigger shows in Tucson. Hear Margolis co-hosting the weekly Is This On comedy radio show at 9 p.m. Wednesdays at xerocraft.org/listen.php .

Applause for the Paws!

Sarah Kennedy headlines at The O to benefit the Humane Society of Southern Arizona at 8 p.m., Friday, Dec. 13. A 6:30 cocktail hour features an adoption event to make the day a lucky one for some shelter pets.

Kennedy started performing comedy in 2009 a few blocks from her Albuquerque home. After producing many shows, and sweeping her hometown papers’ Best Comedian awards, she left for the bright lights of NYC.

There, she appeared on the Today Show and MTV, wrote for The Advocate and Reductress and was a finalist in a national, NBC Stand-Up for Diversity competition.

Now back in Albuquerque she’s been a welcome guest on Tucson stages. Also performing are a hometown favorite drag queen, Miss Nature, and Autumn Horvat, creator and host of Comedians Who Aren’t Men. Eli Turner hosts. Tickets are $10 via support.hssaz.org/event/applause-for-paws/e255190.

Free Centenary Retro Game Show!

The longest-running live show in Tucson just keeps growing as its lascivious send-ups of mid-century TV game shows pack trendy Club Congress month after month.

The ensemble’s 100th show, and 8th-year anniversary, at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 14, welcomes back six popular “celebrity guests” from shows gone by to play an anniversary round of The Mismatch Game. The towering and authoritative host Chatty Kathee presides with her sassy executive assistant Swish Marley.

To celebrate, the show is free with a donation to Toys for Tots. Seating is first come, first served, and there will be no splash zone.

The Pirates Who (almost) Stole Christmas

Kids from the audience help improvise the storyline of Elves Gone Bad: A Pirate’s Christmas at 1 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays, through December 22. Reservations are $5 at unscrewedtheater.org/events/

The story is that Santa and the missus have retired to Tucson, leaving the North Pole elves unemployed. What with the melting Polar Ice Cap, apparently, an evil pirate captain sails to Santa’s workshop to recruit the elves as pirates. Pirates, of course, steal presents instead of giving them. Mayhem ensues, and only audience members can put things back right, somehow.

We think all the elves and reindeer should move to Tucson, form a union and put Jeff Bezos out of business. How about you?

Lots More Comedy

Friday, Dec. 13: Standup with Keith Carey featuring Matt Holt at 8 and 10:30 p.m., Laffs Comedy Caffe ($12.50 and $17.50). Improv with Beefeaters and Improv 501 Showcase at 7:30 p.m. and The Soapbox at 9 p.m. at TIM Comedy Theatre (TIM)($5). Improv Blox student showcase at 6 p.m., Family-friendly improv with Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed (NBOJU) at 7:30 p.m. and Freeform Friday at 9 p.m., Unscrewed Theater ($5 and $8). Burlesque with The Manly Manlesque Show: Silent Night, Deadly Night at 10 p.m., Surly Wench Pub ($10 to $20)

Saturday, Dec. 14: Kids improv, F.O.M.P. (Friends of Make Pretends) at 2 p.m. at TIM Comedy Theatre ($5) Standup with Keith Carey featuring Matt Holt at 7 and 9:30 p.m., at Laffs Comedy Caffe ($12.50 and $17.50). Improv with the Ugly Sweater Show and Harold Omega at 7:30 p.m., and The Family of Things and The Dating Scene at 9 p.m. at TIM ($5). Family-friendly Elves Gone Bad: A Pirate’s Christmas at 1 p.m., Unscrewed Family Hour at 6 p.m., and NBOJU: Uncensored at 9 p.m., Unscrewed Theater ($5 and $8).

Free Open Mics

Sunday, Dec. 15, 6:30 p.m., The O, and 8 p.m., Chuckleheads in Bisbee.
Monday, Dec. 16, 7 p.m., Comedy at the Wench, The Surly Wench Pub.
Tuesday, Dec. 17, 6:45 p.m., Neighborhood Comedy, The Music Box Lounge.
Wednesday, Dec. 18, 7 p.m., The Screening Room and 8:30 p.m., The Mint.
Thursday, Dec.19, 8 p.m., Laffs Comedy Caffe and 8:30 p.m., Rockabilly Grill.

Crossings. This experimental screening at the Loft Cinema celebrates multiple film techniques, including the mise-en-scène, the long shot, performance and collage. Crossings, showing for one night only, is presented by eight students from the University of Arizona’s School of Art. This compilation is as diverse as the students who created it, and examines “each artist’s visual vocabulary within a conceptual framework of their own choosing.” Recommended for those interested in the diverse power of the moving image. The artists are Uthai Andres Espinoza, Matt Galvan, Maxwell Lukas Mijnlieff Gay, Rebecca Meyerson, Akasia Oberly, Bridget Plante, Haozheng (David) Wang and Kevin Zuniga. 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. Free.

Lessons & Carols by Candlelight: Songs of the Magi. This year, True Concord’s winter concert is inspired by the three wise men and the gifts they brought to the newborn baby Jesus. Spend an afternoon or evening in a church at one of five performances, for that candlelit church feeling that makes you feel cozy and safe, but absolutely tiny in the vast expanse of the universe all at once. 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 12, at Christ the King Episcopal Church, 2800 W. Ina Road. 7 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 13, at St. Francis in the Valley Episcopal Church, 600 S. La Canada Drive. 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14, at St. Philips in the Hills Episcopal Church, 4440 N. Campbell Ave. 3 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 15, at Catalina United Methodist Church, 2700 E. Speedway Blvd. 7:30 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 15, at St. Alban’s Episcopal Church, 3738 N. Old Sabino Canyon Road. $25 GA, $40 premium.

Complimentary Mead Tasting. Just in time for the holiday season, Superstition Meadery is bringing their Nordic beverage to Tucson Hop Shop. This free sampling of the honey-infused alcohol allows you to warm up on a chilly December evening. And if you like the honey wine enough, you can pick up a bottle to-go. Superstition Meadery, based out of Prescott, makes both mead and hard cider. The Blacktop Grill food truck will also be serving up Mexican dishes. 6 to 8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12. 3230 N. Dodge Blvd.

What happens when your favorite local bands gather to unabashedly pummel the crowd with mad covers in support of community radio? Why it’s The 2019 Great Cover Up. A golden-hearted charity event not to be missed. Three nights, three venues. Night One of the three-ring circus sees local bands paying tribute to a menagerie of artists as diverse as The Sex Pistols, Stevie Wonder, Squeeze, Neil Young, Linda Ronstadt, Janis Joplin, George Michael, Daniel Johnston and Creedence Clearwater Revival. Featuring Breaking Glass, Fontana Love Triangle, Mr. Manager, Nick Prevenas, Smallvox, Southbound Pilot, The Bennu, The Distortionists and The Minds. All proceeds from this year’s Great Cover Up to benefit Tucson’s community radio KXCI 91.3 FM. The mania kicks off at 191 Toole…

“Here comes the express. Chug.” Rising above division and strife, psychedelic pop rockers Silver Cloud Express search for a “Silver Lining.” At Tap + Bottle-Downtown…

Folk harp and viola delicately commingle to arrive at a mysterious landing. Mariah McCammond and Deanna Cross are The Hatpin Duo. On the patio at Agustin Kitchen…

Inspired by a myth that suggests that, as humankind evolved from sea creatures, some chose not to leave the water and walk the earth, but rather to stay in the ocean and explore the darkness as dolphins. Mega Bog presents Dolphine—her fifth release—at Club Congress. With Karima Walker and Stripes…

Followed by a celebracion to honor La Reina de México, La Virgen de Guadalupe—a powerful symbol of Mexican identity and faith associated with motherhood, feminism and social justice. With DJ Q spinning in the club while DJ Robertitx mans the decks out on the plaza. Psypiritual & Rey (from Ojalá Systems) step to smash out a midnight set. At Hotel Congress…

Telling the story visually. Projected Explorations pairs works by female composers with digital projections designed by artist Ryan Brady. Arizona Friends of Chamber Music presents, The Neave Trio. At Berger Performing Arts Center…

Resonance Monthly: December Edition casts the spotlight on “Anarchist,” Copenhagen producer/EDM artist Snavs, who brings his forward-thinking genre-defying beats to Gentle Ben’s…

A taste of Spain in downtown Tucson? Throughout the month of December, alternating weekly, singer-songwriters Amanda Rochelle and Natalie Pohanic shall serenade for Tapas & Tonics. In the lounge at the AC Hotel Tucson…

This innovative trio’s repertoire fuses traditional elements with the unconventional—like tackling Radiohead and Pink Floyd interpretations—into a modern jazz format. Phoenix’s funkiest, What’s The Big Idea perform as part of the Lookout Tucson Jazz Concert Series. At Westward Look…

Gird your loins. Billy Shaw Jr. Band perform Southwestern country rock for Boots & Balls. At The Maverick King of Clubs…

As part of the Oro Valley Concert Series, P.D. Ronstadt and the Company perform traditional Southwestern and Mexican folk songs interspersed with original material. At the Oro Valley Marketplace…

Pianist Elliot Jones presides at Piano Bar Thursdays at The Dusty Monk Pub. And you—that’s right, you—are welcome to prod the ivories. Bring your own sheet music or peruse through the host’s books…