The Town of Florence says they had no idea of Governor Doug Ducey's intentions to close the Florence state prison until he announced it publicly during his State of the State address on Monday, Jan. 13.

In a statement posted on the town's website, it says staff were "startled" by the sudden announcement but they are "committed to work closely with our colleagues at the State, in the State Legislature, at Pinal County, and with our partners at our local correctional facilities to  better understand the impacts of this decision and to strive to find a solution that is appropriate for our community, our residents, and the many employees that call Florence home for eight to twelve hours per day."

The Arizona State Prison Complex in Florence is Arizona's largest and oldest prison. It has existed for over 100 years and currently houses about 3,800 incarcerated men.

In his address, Ducey said all existing staff at the Florence prison will be relocated to Eyman prison, less than three miles away. The Governor’s Office says additional staff will allow the Eyman complex to be fully staffed, eliminating vacancies and “providing inmates with better access to programs and other services, such as enhanced second chance programs.”

They say no correctional employees will lose their jobs as a result of the move, and taxpayers will save an estimated $247 million over three years.

While their jobs are still secured for now, the Town of Florence believes this new development will still have lasting effects on their community.

Their statement says:

"We are concerned for our residents, who for so many years have shouldered the burdens and stigmas associated with being called a 'prison town.' Without legislative action, resources currently used in the community could dry up and could radically change this historic community and the county seat of the state’s fastest growing county. Preliminary estimates on impact show that the Town could lose up to 3,600 prisoners and hundreds of permanent jobs upon the closure of the facility. The loss of these residents and their associated revenue could equate to a $1.3 million direct impact on Town services (or about 13% of its total state-shared revenue). To a rural community like ours, this is not inconsequential."

The Florence closure is part of Ducey's shift toward a more treatment-based approach to corrections. This decision was coupled with the announcement that the Arizona Department of Corrections will be rebranded into the "Arizona Department of Corrections, Rehabilitation and Reentry."

While closing the state's largest prison is a statement within itself, the effects it will have on the incarcerated population are still unknown. Ducey's plan offers no details on whether inmates at Florence will be eligible for early releases, nor does it provide a path to reduce prison populations at all.

Florence still anticipates a need for carceral facilities, adding in their statement that "should new facilities be desired, Florence has available land that is zoned and planned for this type of use."

Their full statement can be viewed here.

If Doug Ducey bragged about adding $70 per student to the K-12 education budget, the news would be received with yawns from the vaguely interested and howls of outrage from people who know Arizona needs to add a thousand dollars per student to reach Mississippi funding levels, two thousand to reach Arkansas and three thousand to reach Louisiana. In Arizona funding dollars, that translates to an added one billion, two billion and three billion dollars respectively.

So $70 per student, about $72 million total, doesn't even qualify as small potatoes compared to the funding Arizona needs to equal some of the poorest southern states, let alone the rest of the nation. It's chump change.

But Ducey is getting away with bragging about $72 million for schools by spending it, using words from his State of the State speech, "to reward and replicate success in our best public schools." Those "successful" schools will get either $225 or $400 per student from a program with the impressive-sounding name, results-based funding. True, only a quarter of the state's district and charter schools get any money, but it's supposed to be a reward for success, which sounds like a good thing.

Except that "success" is measured by the percentage of a school's students who pass the state's AZMerit exam, and as most everyone knows, students from higher income families tend to do a whole lot better on the tests than students from lower income families. So if it's all about passing rates, all the money would go to schools in high rent areas, and that would be too obviously, grossly unfair, even for Governor Ducey.

What to do?

Comedy so outsider it’s insider

Neil Hamburger is an awful comedian. His affect is palpably awkward. A Sartorial disaster, his clothes look like Goodwill rejects from the sixties. His hair needs a hot bath. His singing is like Leonard Cohen’s as it might sound in The Upside Down, which is to say it’s near perfect in spite of itself.

As colorful and character-drenched as his most obvious features are, they say little about the man. They provide cerebrally irreverent Gregg Turkington with cover for his subversive take on contemporary culture and values. If you don’t laugh at your life, you’re not listening. “Some might say this is a lowbrow show,” Turkington says. “but when I’m making doo doo jokes or jokes about Elton John, it's all in service of, you know, making larger points.”

He acknowledges that his Hamburger character requires a little more intellectual commitment than the average club comic. But his fans also expect more music. Turkington’s been recording for Drag City’s venerable indie record label for more than twenty years, from the moment he overthrew youthful punk immersion for fanzine-level commitment to deeply sincere emotional expression and top shelf musicianship.

“It’s got nothing to say,” says Turkington of current punk music. Perhaps it’s enough to say it’s just another genre, now. “I feel like punk became more regimented than just about any other style of music. Now, my favorite stuff to listen to is really well-produced pop records from the sixties. I just want something with some personality.”

Hamburger’s musical performance owes roughly 20% to Tiny Tim and another 20% to Steve Allen. The music, though, is splendid. Drag City, released his 12th record, Still Dwelling, a year ago in all formats. It inspired half a dozen visual artists around the world to create videos for it; four are now available online, including one animation and a puppet show.

“When Still Dwelling came out, people said the music is incredible because of the musicianship,” Turkington says, Songs include compositions by Paul Simon, Paul McCartney, Mark Eitzel and Nancy Wilson. Instruments include a sitar, a saw and a clarinet. Jack Black contributes vocals.
“But I’ve got people saying, ‘Yeah, but I don’t know about the vocals.’ I’m thinking 95% of the songs on the charts are autotuned. That sounds like robotic voices.” No one would confuse Turkington or and Hamburger with robots, though. In fact, they are sui generis.

Turkington appears as Hamburger at 191 Toole on Friday, Jan. 17. Tickets are $20 and $25, including fees, at rialtotheatre.com

Funnier than he looks

John Green was named “Best of the Fest” at the Burbank comedy festival, no mean feat in metropolitan area where you can’t swing a blunt without a half-dozen comics taking a hit.
Green was a long time coming back to his childhood dream of standup notoriety. He studied music through school, then trod the path to success as a Phoenix-area businessman. In his ‘30s, he fell in love with improv. First as a fan, then as a talented improviser, he honed the skills and, even more, the confidence to face an audience alone, even with what he calls his “resting murder face”.

Now Green’s set occasionally includes a song improvised at an audience member’s request to embarrass their friend or mate. Mainly, though, Green’s comedy backbone is good, clean fun. He says in his bio, “There seems to be a stigma about calling yourself a ‘clean’ comic, almost like you’re not a true artist. My only mission with comedy is to make people laugh and feel good about laughing.”

Green is featured at The O at 8 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 18. Reservations are $7, $5 in advance via Eventbrite.

MLK Weekend reminder

John Roy’s Jesuit father and psychotherapist mom may have had higher aspirations for him than to be a standup comedian. Alas for them, he absorbed the influence of their diverse, artsy and gritty Rogers Park, Chicago, neighborhood. It gave him the breezy confidence and wide-ranging comic flair that made him champion of CBS’s 2003 Star Search and led to appearances on The Tonight Show, Craig Ferguson, Last Comic Standing and Conan. He’s also performed regularly on cable network TV, independent comedy shows and satellite radio via his record, Dressed for Recess.”

Roy appears at Laffs Comedy Caffe on Friday at 8 and 10:30 p.m., Saturday at 7 and 9:30 p.m., And Sunday at 7 p.m. Reservations are $12.50 and $17.50 via laffstucson.com.

More Laughs!

Friday, Jan. 17, long-form improv with TIM Teachers Lounge and The Flower Boys at 7:30 p.m. ($5,) and The Soapbox featuring Bryan Sanders (flag shirt guy)($7) at 9 p.m., at Tucson Improv Movement (TIM) (both shows $10). Family-friendly improv with Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed (NBOJU) at 7:30 p.m., Unscrewed Theatre ($5 kids and $8 adults).

Saturday, Jan. 18, Improv with The Ugly Sweater Show and Harold Alpha at 7:30 p.m., and another Ugly Sweater Show with The Dating Scene at 9 p.m., TIM ($5). Family-friendly improv with Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed (NBOJU) at 7:30 p.m., and Unscrewed Double Feature at 9 p.m., Unscrewed Theater ($5 and $8)

Monday, Jan. 20, standup showcase Brew Ha Ha features Leland Long, Jimmy Callaway, Monte Benjamin and Stephanie Lyonga at Borderlands Brewing at 8 p.m., $5.

Wednesday, Jan. 22, standup with Tom Briscoe at the Desert View Performing Arts Center at 7P30 p.m. ($22)

Thursday, Jan. 23, standup showcase Casa de Comedy is at Casa Marana at 8 p.m., free.

Free Open Mics

Sunday, Jan. 19, 6:30 p.m., The O, and 8 p.m., Chuckleheads in Bisbee.
Monday, Jan. 20, 7 p.m., Comedy at the Wench, The Surly Wench Pub.
Tuesday, Jan. 21, 6:45 p.m., Neighborhood Comedy at The Music Box Lounge.
Weds, Jan. 22, 7 p.m., The Screening Room
Thursday, Jan. 23, 8 p.m., Laffs Comedy Caffe and 8:30 p.m., Rockabilly Grill.

Mineral Madness. This event up at the Desert Museum is the perfect way to whet your appetite for the big Tucson Gem and Mineral Show that is coming up. Or, if you're looking for something a little less overwhelming (and, in many cases, cheaper prices), this might even be a good alternative. Check out rock-bottom prices (seriously, they start at 50 cents, and kids can collect some for free) on these mineral and fossil treasures, including special sales of fluorescent minerals, quartz crystals and chalcedony, fossilized shark poop, "decorator" rock and new gem stone donations. There's thousands of specimens that will appeal to everyone from serious collectors to folks who just think rocks are pretty. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 18 and Sunday, Jan. 19. Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, 2021 N. Kinney Road. $21.95 ages 13 to 64, $19.95 seniors, $9.95 youth, free for members and kids under 3. Discounts available for military and Arizona/Sonora residents. (Special preview for Desert Museum members from 5 to 7 p.m. on Thursday, Jan. 16).

Copper Rock Craft Eatery Grand Opening. Alvernon Way's Doubletree Hotel is getting a new eatery with Copper Rock, which features a wide variety of foods from Chef Alan Lambert. Dishes range from Ahi nachos to Greek salad to ribeye and a wide selection of specialty burgers. The menu also includes multiple vegan and vegetarian options. But where Copper Rock really shines is their drink menu, featuring more than a dozen specialty cocktails, as well as plenty of wine and beer. While Copper Rock Craft Eatery has already served up dishes for a few specialty events, this is their official grand opening event, and that means you can get 30 percent off your meal, excluding alcohol. 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. on Thursday, Jan. 16. 445 S. Alvernon Way.

Widely regarded as one of the finest soul, funk and R&B bands in the world, snippets of their songs have been repurposed by the Beastie Boys, Public Enemy, Nas, TLC and many others making them the 15th most sampled act in music history. From Scotland, the Average White Band "Cut the Cake." At the Fox Theatre...

Arizona Friends of Chamber Music's Night Two sees the St. Lawrence Quartet exploring how Joseph Haydn's influence—Haydn was one of Beethoven's prominent music teachers—may have manifested in Beethoven's middle and late quartets. At Leo Rich Theater...

With echoing vintage keyboards (Wurlitzer organ and Fender Rhodes electric piano) and lush layers of vocals mashed together with fey Americana noir and pop song structures, this Portland singer-songwriter has coined a new genre: Dream country disco. Megan Diana is at Club Congress. With Soda Sun, Jillian Bessett and Emby Alexander...

Bringing together renowned jazz artists with local musicians, The Secret Jazz Series is a three night parallel jazz program during Tucson Jazz Fest. Night One: Hard Bop Night sees saxophonist Mike Monynihan, bassist Thøger Lund and drummer Casey Hadland back "The Secret Weapon" on piano. At El Crisol (formerly Exo Bar)...

According to the Pima County Sheriff’s Department, 52-year-old Brian Hieb died at the scene of a collision on North La Cañada and West Emerine Drive after fleeing from a traffic stop Tuesday night.

Around 9:46 p.m. the night of Jan. 14, sheriff’s deputies attempted to initiate a traffic stop at La Cañada Drive and West River Road. The suspect vehicle did not stop and fled northbound on La Cañada, according to a release from the sheriff’s department.

After sideswiping another driver, the suspect collided into a guard rail on the east side of the roadway.

Hieb was the single occupant of the vehicle and was pronounced dead on the scene.

Find more Claytoonz here.

Congresswoman Ann Kirkpatrick announced today she was taking a leave of absence from the office to enter treatment for alcohol addiction.

“Beginning next week, I will receive treatment that I have struggled to ask for, to treat my alcohol dependence,” said Kirkpatrick in a prepared statement.

Kirkpatrick, 69, said the decision was precipitated by a serious fall that will require physical therapy.

Kirkpatrick is up for reelection following her first term representing Southern Arizona’s Congressional District 2, considered one of the most competitive in the country. She had previously represented Congressional District 1, which includes Oro Valley and Marana as well as Flagstaff and eastern Arizona.

“I am finally seeking this help after struggling to do so in the past, and I am ready to admit that I, like countless other Americans, suffer from this disease,” Kirkpatrick said in her statement. “Hard work and determination—which have brought me success in life—have not been enough to win this battle. Other than being a wife, mother, and grandmother, the most important job in the world to me is representing my fellow Arizonans. I know I must get better in order to do my best in each of these roles.”

Kirkpatrick said her offices would continue to run in her absence.

“During my absence, my congressional offices in Washington and Arizona will be fully operational, processing all constituent requests, meetings, activities and correspondence,” Kirkpatrick said. “My positions on all recorded votes will be submitted to the Congressional Record and made publicly available.”

Kirkpatrick’s 2020 campaign manager, Michael Sheridan, said Kirkpatrick remained committed to running for reelection this year.

“Congresswoman Kirkpatrick is very grateful for all the outreach and support she’s received,” Sheridan said. “Ann wants her constituents to know that she is standing by them 100% and fully intends to run for reelection this fall and hopes to earn the support of all voters across her district.”

Two of Kirkpatrick’s potential Republican opponents wished her well in her effort at recovery.

“Alcoholism is a serious disease many Americans and their families face daily in our nation,” said Republican Brandon Martin in a Facebook statement. “It's a difficult decision for individuals to address and admit they need help. I'm happy to hear, Mrs. Kirkpatrick, is seeking professional help to combat her illness and is taking the steps necessary to recover. I wish her, and her family the best as she begins her journey to a full recovery.”

Joseph Morgan shared a similar sentiment.

“I hope she gets the help she needs,” Morgan said.

Pima County Democratic Party Chair Alison Jones said the party “wishes Ann Kirkpatrick a speedy recovery from her fall. Almost every family is affected by the disease of alcoholism. We are confident Rep. Kirkpatrick, with the support of her family and friends, will get the treatment she needs while continuing to execute the duties of her office.”

Hailing from the Sheldon Theatre of Performing Arts in Red Wing, Minnesota, Bonnie Schock was selected to lead the Fox Theatre. She will begin her tenure March 9, 2020.

Schock said she is delighted and honored to join the Fox Theatre, built in 1930 in downtown Tucson.

“I believe in the performing arts as a space for community building, where we get to know ourselves, our neighbors, and our world better,” Schock said in a statement announcing the move. “And, after 30 years in this work, I have come to know that historic facilities play a particularly vital role in the arts ecosystem, for all the memories they hold and the connections they foster.

Schock has been the executive director of the Sheldon Theatre since 2015, and was found after a national search conducted for the Fox Tucson Theatre Foundation Board of Directors. She will fill the position left vacant by former longtime executive director Craig Sumberg, who was recently selected to lead The South Orange Performing Arts Center in South Orange, New Jersey.

“The Fox is truly a rare treasure - the kind of special place that works across time, as a tangible link between past, present, and future,” Schock said. “I am excited to begin work with the board, the vibrant Tucson arts and cultural community, the Fox's many and diverse supporters, and the skilled staff to build on the Fox's many past and current successes, and to imagine together a vibrant future."

The Fox announced that informal community meet and greet events are in the planning stages to welcome Schock to Tucson and the rest of Southern Arizona.

Wine Dinner at Romano’s Macaroni Grill. Romano’s is toasting the new year by reimagining some of their most beloved dishes in a four-course meal, each dish paired with an international wine. Courses include toasted cheese ravioli or formaggio garlic bruschetta, paired with Chloe Rose; roasted rosemary potato soup or arugula caprese salad paired with Benziger Chardonnay; short rib ravioli cacciatore or wild mushroom chicken fettuccine alfredo paired with Trapiche Malbec; and somehow even more! 7 to 9 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 15. 5100 E. Broadway Blvd. $45 per person.

Buqui Bichi Brewing at Caps & Corks. Buqui Bichi, the first craft brewery out of Hermosillo, Mexico, are stopping by Caps & Corks. They’re taking over four taps, and will also have cans on site for purchase: citrusy “Sahuaripa” IPA, the creamy and roasted Talega coffee stout, the Chúcata amber ale, and the malty and sweet 21 pale ale. Representatives from Buqui Bichi will also be onsite to talk about their beers. 6 to 8 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 15.

Vivre Sa Vie (Free Screening). Celebrating the life of the late singer/actress Anna Karina, The Loft Cinema is screening this French experimental drama directed by Jean Luc-Godard. This character study, starring Karina, follows a young Parisian who aspires to be an actress but instead ends up a prostitute in a surreal spiral of dances and daydreams. Before the screening, enjoy a collection of Anna Karina music videos. Also, check out last week’s Weekly for an article on the life of Anna Karina. Screening in French with English subtitles. 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 15. 3233 E. Speedway. Free admission, suggested donation of $5.

Reminiscent of classic drummer-led ensembles of yesteryear (à la Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers and Max Roach), Allison Miller’s Boom Tic Boom has established themselves as innovators creating a diverse sonic palette that is unmistakably modern. At the Fox Theater…

Paying homage to one of the greatest composers of all time, Arizona Friends of Chamber Music presents St. Lawrence Quartet performing two different Beethoven-centered concerts in two consecutive nights. Night One’s program inserts a John Adams’ composition, based on Beethoven fragments, between two Beethoven string quartets. At Leo Rich Theater…

A Tucson favorite, “The Godfather of modern rockabilly and psychobilly,” the good Reverend Horton Heat propels napalm gel, figuratively of course, into the audience at 191 Toole. Flanked by L.A. garage rockers The Buttertones, roots rock veterans The Paladins and a special appearance by double-neck guitar maestro Deke Dickerson…

The Carnivaleros Trio, with their accordion-fueled zydeco-tinged Tex-Mexican riffs, will make boots scoot. At Public Brewhouse…