Monday, December 23, 2019

Posted By on Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 10:25 AM

“Hi friends! I’m a playful boy 1-year-old boy named Rayson. I was transferred to HSSA from another shelter so they don’t know much about my past. They do know I am a sweet boy who deserves a loving family. Could that be with you?” Rayson (881259) Bring your family, dogs included, to meet Rayson at HSSA Main Campus at 635 W. Roger Rd. For more information give an adoptions counselor a call at 520-327-6088, ext. 173.

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Posted By on Mon, Dec 23, 2019 at 1:00 AM

Flandrau Holiday Shows. We’ll be honest: A visit to the planetarium pretty much always feels like a holiday spectacular. What’s more festive and twinkly than the night sky? But this time of year, Flandrau has got three holiday-themed shows that are fun for the whole family. Season of Light, set to popular holiday music, celebrates the many holidays that take place around the winter solstice. Laser Holidays is a laser light show set to classic bops like “The Christmas Song” and “All I Want for Christmas is You.” And Holiday Magic is another laser show set to classic Christmas songs. Holiday shows this week take place at various times on Friday, Dec. 20, through Monday, Dec. 23, this week. Flandrau Science Center & Planetarium, 1601 E. University Blvd. $16 GA, $12 for kids4 to 17, senior/military/college students with ID. Free for kids 3 and under.

It’s a Wonderful Life. Yeah, it’s the week of Christmas, get ready for a whole lot of jolly screenings. The Fox Theatre is screening the tear-jerkiest of Christmas films twice this week, just in case you want to reignite your passion for life multiple times. There’s really nothing more to be said about how important this film is in the Christmas canon, so instead, here’s some trivia: the film was a flop upon initial release, but went on to be ranked as the “#1 Most Inspirational Movie of All Time” by the American Film Institute. Also, a photo of a six-month-old James Stewart is featured on the Bailey’s home. 2 to 5 p.m. Monday, Dec. 23. 17 W. Congress St. $7.

The Ice Pirates. The year is 1984, the original Star Wars trilogy just concluded and changed how Hollywood treats sci-fi, but not everyone wanted to take it seriously. For their Mondo Mondays series, The Loft Cinema is bowing down to John Carradine, the man who starred in more than 300 films, including this B-movie mess. The Ice Pirates depicts a galaxy running low on water, and a rag-tag team of swashbucklers dedicated to causing a ruckus with every cheesy alien they can find. There’s even a creature called a “Space Herpe.” Fun! 8 p.m. Monday, Dec. 23. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. $4.

The Polar Express. How did this whimsical children’s film become a holiday classic? Because it’s written by Chris Van Allsburg, the most important children’s author since Dr. Seuss. Allsburg, also responsible for Jumanji, Zathura and The Mysteries of Harris Burdick, knows how to capture mystery and adventure like a child’s mind. And wouldn’t you know it, this film adaptation does a pretty faithful job of translating the book. The Fox Theatre is screening possibly the least unnerving live-action motion capture film (certainly compared to future endeavors like 2009’s A Christmas Carol and 2011’s Mars Needs Moms). At 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. Monday, Dec. 23. 17 W. Congress St. $7.

This Latin lounge troubadour was found “on a remote island as an infant. Rescued from jungle cats, he was raised listening to his beatnik father’s record collection.” Or so the story goes. Hans Hutchison performs at Club Congress. Mamma Coal opens…

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Friday, December 20, 2019

Posted By on Fri, Dec 20, 2019 at 1:00 AM

Friday, Dec. 20

click to enlarge XOXO: Where to Rock, This Weekend, Dec. 20 - 22
Tom Walbank
A Night for Amy sees some of Tucson’s finest—Katie Haverly, Brittany Katter, Lola Torch, Naim Amor, Tom Walbank, Thøger Lund, Dimitri Manos and Ben Nisbet—perform the songs of Amy Winehouse for a cause. At 191 Toole. All proceeds to benefit Southern Arizona Aids Foundation’s Thornhill Lopez Center on 4th…

Club ’90s LA presents Selena Night. Dance to the Queen of Tejano projected on giant video screens with other ’90s and Latin anthems mashed into the mix. Dance at the Rialto Theatre…

Celebrating the video release of “Riding the Storm,” country-infused rocker Armando Moreno & The Southern Revival are at Thunder Canyon Brewstillery. Sharing a similar bent, special guests Crooked Saints join in the revelry…

Something different? Requinto urbano is an emergent acoustic style that marries norteño folk to gritty urban lyrics. Herencia de Patrones are at Club 4th Avenue…

Crossing genres, singer-songwriters Mark Anthony Febbo & Oscar Fuentes play a mix of original acoustic guitar-driven tunes and obscure covers. At Westbound…

Fifty years after the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots—a historic uprising against police harassment that launched the modern LGBTQ civil rights movement—Super Gay Party Machine promises “the gayest, danciest, drinkiest party in town.” Join the rainbow riot at Club Congress…

Heartbreaker, soul shaker, Miss Olivia & the Interlopers add warmth to a brisk night. In the tasting room at Sand-Reckoner…

Comprised of outstanding high school musicians, Tucson Jazz Institute’s Ellington Big Band perform at Tohono Chul’s Holiday Nights…

Led by vocalist Amy Virnelson, Soul Essentials perform classic and modern R&B and soul. At Monterey Court…

Tracing back the roots of country music from the verdant trails of Appalachia to the gritty streets of Bakersfield, Freddy Parish hosts Dry ’n’ Dusty at El Crisol (formerly Exo Bar)…

Let the gathering commence. Legion: A dark dance experience sees DJ Black Flagg dropping industrial, EBM and synth-pop bombs. At the Surly Wench Pub…

There is a low hum moving through the Earth. Newcomers The Disappearance will be at Saint Charles Tavern. But are they real?…

Saturday, Dec. 21

click to enlarge XOXO: Where to Rock, This Weekend, Dec. 20 - 22
David Broza
Their resumes read like a rock ’n’ Roll Who’s Who: Carmine Appice’s includes work with Vanilla Fudge, Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart, Ozzy Ozborne and others. Vinny Appice pounded pagan skins for Black Sabbath, Ronnie James Dio, Rick Derringer and John Lennon, to name a few. Two of the world’s iconic drummers, The Appice Brothers share the stage with Southern rockers Blackfoot. At EncoreTucson…

Backed by an all-star lineup, singer/guitarist David Broza returns to the Fox Theatre with a panoply of Israeli and Spanish-infused songs to spread the universal language of peace, love and understanding…

Commingling the improvisational spirit of psychedelic and prog rock with elements of EDM, The Bennu—led by vocalist Vasanta Weiss—promises to take you on a journey of mystical exploration. At 191 Toole. Up first, Legion of Mario sets the tone…

This Canadian bluesman has been hailed as a “blues evangelist.” He kinda agrees: “I do feel like I’m a servant of the people. A missionary if you will. Music can heal if they pay attention to the messages in these songs.” Harpdog Brown brings his latest, For Love & Money, to the Monterey Court…

Music. Food. Clothing. Good Vibes. The UA African Studies Department presents The Sixth Annual Deejays Against Hunger: Feed The Homeless Concert. Featuring sets by some of The Old Pueblo’s finest turntablists. At Armory Park…

Amidst the glow of a million twinkling teeny-tiny lights, stroll the garden paths while Dos Sueños, Gus Woodrow Trio, Gabriel Ayala and Cirque Roots perform. Holiday Nights at Tohono Chul Park…

“Deep in the Heart of Christmas,” The Texas Tenors sleigh ride into town. Joining the Tucson Symphony Orchestra in a heartwarming holiday concert. At the Tucson Convention Center…

Emerging in 2004 from Tucson’s subterranean pools of talent, award-winning Americana singer-songwriter/storyteller Kevin Pakulis and his Band take Che’s Lounge by storm…

Spinning the best of Southern hip-hop, DJs Jahmar and Quise pay Tribute to Pimp C. At Mr. Head’s Art Gallery and Bar…

Spanning the Americas, an evening of Latin American music with Tradiciones unfolds in melody. At El Crisol (formerly Exo Bar)…

Soul and Americana duo, Dan & Ocean are traversing the country in support of their latest EP The Coronado Kid, Pt. 1 (original motion picture soundtrack). They make a stop at Sand-Reckoner…

Die Hard: The holiday edition of the ’80s dance party perdures. At the Surly Wench Pub. DJ NoirTech is behind the tables…

Entertaining the throngs at the Winterhaven Festival of Lights with the unique sound of the Caribbean, the award-winning Jovert Steel Drum Ensemble from Tucson High Magnet School rock the eighth annual Winterhaven Concert…

Here is your chance to meet your favorite KTDT 99.1 FM DJ. In a special after-hours event, Downtown Radio’s Holiday Fiesta takes place at Rocco’s Little Chicago Pizzeria. DoctorSlow and other KTDT DJs man the decks into the night…

Sunday, Dec. 22

click to enlarge XOXO: Where to Rock, This Weekend, Dec. 20 - 22
Miss Olivia and The Interlopers
It’s time once again. Eric Dupree aka EZ Goin brings together some of T-Town’s brightest hip-hop and R&B acts—Aske, Vinney Mendez, Tommy Will, Big and Trahma—to raise money for a local charity. The 3rd Annual Black Heart Charity Show shines at 191 Toole. Proceeds and donations to benefit St. Francis Homeless Shelter…

After a long hiatus, Romo Tonight Live submarines at Thunder Canyon Brewstillery. Comedy—Mo Urban, Jericho Davidson, Ben Forbes and others—backed by the best house band “in the known universe,” Dirty P and the Thunderchiefs. As if that were not enough, usually shirtless, underwear clad, pot-bellied and always raunchy, The Pangs drop the wrecking ball to close the night…

Known for a cappella renditions of Disney and Broadway hits, Voctave—an 11-member vocal group from Central Florida—promise to add magic to the holidays. At the Fox Theatre…

DJ Mijito, with guest Robertitx, drop the needle on a stack of sides: ’90s, early ’00s, R&B, rap and hip-hop. It all goes down After Dark at Passé…

Performing on tiny keyboards, musical instruments and non-instruments both variegated and amusing—Thøger Lund, Dimitri Manos and Jeff GrubicSRS (Spontaneous Response Squadron) explore ambient improvisation. With special guest Ry Warner sitting in on guitar. At Owls Club…

Honoring the solstice (and youth run riot), Winter Kickoff is an all ages event featuring Somniac, The Sinks, Alien Jacket, Zenny Cake, Carnival and Rough Draft. At Club Congress…

Fusing traditional and modern bluegrass and country, classic and indie rock, folk and Americana, October Intuition are in the lounge at The Royal Sun…

Be prepared to dance with abandon. Connie Brannock’s Tiny House of Funk play “Sonoran Soul” music. At Public Brewhouse…

The Holiday Spectacular at Saint Charles Tavern features The Diatones, Just Najima, Silver Cloud Express, Keli Carpenter and Miss Olivia and The Interlopers

The Tucson Jazz Institute’s Winter Big Band Bash finds guest artist/esteemed vocalist Joe Bourne returning to sing Nat King Cole classics from Orange Colored Sky, as recorded by the TJI Ellington Big Band. At the Berger Performing Arts Center…

The haunted, found sound experimentalism meets traditional song structure of composer Karima Walker wafts mysteriously through the wintery air at The Coronet…

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Posted By on Fri, Dec 20, 2019 at 1:00 AM

Friday, Dec. 20
Holiday Party at the Wilde Meyer Gallery. There are many different kinds of holiday parties, from formal galas to drunken office ones to the ones you threw in your college apartment. But a holiday party in a local art gallery is the sort of thing that strikes the perfect balance between cozy, classy and festive. At the Wilde Meyer Gallery this Friday, enjoy a painting demonstration by Sarah Webber, a performance by acoustic harpist Vanessa Myers and a selection of light refreshments. Paintings, sculptures, ceramic pieces and jewelry by gallery artists will all be on display, so you can celebrate the holidays in the midst of beautiful things. 5 to 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 20. Wilde Meyer Gallery, 2890 E. Skyline Drive. Free.

Flandrau Holiday Shows. We’ll be honest: A visit to the planetarium pretty much always feels like a holiday spectacular. What’s more festive and twinkly than the night sky? But this time of year, Flandrau has got three holiday-themed shows that are fun for the whole family. Season of Light, set to popular holiday music, celebrates the many holidays that take place around the winter solstice. Laser Holidays is a laser light show set to classic bops like “The Christmas Song” and “All I Want for Christmas is You.” And Holiday Magic is another laser show set to classic Christmas songs. Holiday shows this week take place at various times on Friday, Dec. 20, through Monday, Dec. 23, this week. Flandrau Science Center & Planetarium, 1601 E. University Blvd. $16 GA, $12 for kids4 to 17, senior/military/college students with ID. Free for kids 3 and under.

In the Christmas Mood: A Holiday Christmas Spectacular. We’re talking classic Christmas carols and new holiday hits! We’re talking a six-piece band! We’re talking singing, dancing and lots of laughing! This show at the Fox Theatre, starring Katherine Byrnes, Brian Levario, Chach Snook and Crystal Stark, has become something of a holiday tradition here in the Old Pueblo. If you haven’t gotten into the spirit of the season yet, this show might be just what you need to do the trick. Proceeds support the Diaper Bank of Southern Arizona as well! 7:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 20. The Fox Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. $25 to $35.

Friday Food, Fun and Flix at Jacome Plaza. Watching classic movies is one time-honored holiday tradition, and heading downtown to look at twinkly lights and take in the spectacle is another. Imagine how much holiday cheer you could fit into one night by combining these two traditions! Just think of the efficiency! Bring blankets or chairs and jackets, pick up some hot cocoa and popcorn and settle in to enjoy Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. In this out-of-control sequel, Kevin’s parents don’t learn their lesson about keeping track of their kid, the current president of the United States makes a cameo, and Kevin tries to kill Harry and Marv for real. 7 to 10 p.m. Friday, Dec. 20. Jacome Plaza Downtown, 101 N. Stone Ave.

A Hidden Life. As the Nazis dominated Central Europe, spreading their influence through the cities and countryside, many joined their war machine out of both passion and fear. The newest film by Terrence Malick (The Tree of Life, The Thin Red Line) tells the story of an Austrian farmer who refused to join the Nazis, instead holding onto his faith. At nearly three hours, this historical drama, based on real events, is being called one of Malick’s greatest works. The Loft Cinema is screening this tale of love conquering war. Begins Friday, Dec. 20. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd.

The Man Who Invented Christmas. For their Third Friday Film Series, Grace St. Paul’s Episcopal Church is screening a film that details how Charles Dickens came to write A Christmas Carol. The Man Who Invented Christmas blends history with fantasy to show how Dickens changed how we view Christmas as a whole. Think about it: When is the last time you got through an entire Christmas season without hearing about or thinking about Dickens? Considering Christmas dates back to the fourth century, Dickens is a pretty recent guy. 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 20. 2331 E. Adams St.

A CosmoChristmas Celebration. The Sea of Glass Center for the Arts is really bringing the festivity this year, with this show featuring several different forms of holiday cheer. First, the TaliasVan’s CosmoYouth Choir, a professional performing and recording group for teens, is performing. Then, TaliasVan’s Bright & Morning Star Choir and Orchestra, a 50-piece ensemble, will perform a selection of both traditional pieces and CosmoChristmas originals in their traditional otherworldly style. Closing out the evening is a one-hour Christmas musical play called The God Child Came, performed by the Global Change Theater Company and played here on DVD. Come early to enjoy the beer and wine garden. 6:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 20. Sea of Glass Center for the Arts, 330 E. Seventh St. Adults are $25 in advance and $20 day-of, teens 12 to 15 are $12 in advance and $17 day-of, and kids 11 and under are $4.

Frozen. 1912 Brewing is hosting a Frozen party. For those of you who just can’t let the film go, head down for a whole lot more than just a screening. The evening includes dinner and cupcakes from Daniela’s Cooking, a reading of the original Frozen story by Santa, hot cocoa, coloring and film screening. All adults and children are welcome, and encouraged to dress up as their favorite Frozen character. 5 to 9 p.m. Film starts at 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 20. 2045 N. Forbes Blvd.

Saturday, Dec. 21

Princesses at Winterhaven. A trip to Winterhaven on any night is a treat, but if you’re into Disney  princesses, or you have kids who are, then you’re definitely going to want to go this Saturday. A crew of fairy tale characters and princesses (they can’t guarantee exactly who is in the lineup, but odds are at least one of two of your favorites) will be there, singing carols in a magical display at the Disney-themed house in Winterhaven. Come ready to sing along, and please do bring a donation for the Community Food Bank, because the princesses are helping collect cans (charity work is always a good way to boost a royal’s public image). 6 to 8:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 21. 2818 E. Farr St. Free.

Holiday Parade at Tanque Verde Swap Meet. You can never have too many holiday parades, right? And the Tanque Verde Swap Meet likes to do theirs right. They’ve got decorated floats, lots of elves, and the big man in red himself. Plus, there’s the obvious appeal of the swap meet itself. Few things are more magical than strolling through the rows of a swap meet. And not to mention that they just opened up the new Freddie’s Fun Zone, which features amusement park rides like the Scrambler and the Dragon Wagon. Ho ho do-n’t miss it. 7 to 9 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 21. Tanque Verde Swap Meet, 4100 S. Palo Verde Road. Free.

Christkindlmarket Booth. So, Chistkindlesmarkt is a Christmas market held every year in Nuremberg, Germany, which attracts about two million visitors. The “Christkind” or “Christ Child” is traditionally played by a teenage girl, who dresses in white and gold and has curly blonde hair—like an angelic Christ child. But, anyway, the Pusch Family is German, so this celebration at Steam Pump Ranch is meant to be an example of one of their homestyle Christmases. The ranch house will be decorated, and you can pick up holiday treats and décor at the market booth. Schöne ferien! 9 a.m. to noon. Saturday, Dec. 21. Steam Pump Ranch, 10901 N. Oracle Road. Free.

Downtown Radio Holiday Fiesta. Who doesn’t love a chance to support local radio? And who doesn’t love pizza? This event has both at the same time, and therefore should absolutely not be missed. Rocco’s Little Chicago Pizzeria is open late tonight for a chance to meet your favorite Downtown Radio DJs, including DoctorSlow, who will be spinning tunes through the night. Your tickets get you through the door and a raffle ticket to win prizes like gift cards to Zia and Bookmans, free passes to Mister Car Wash, free tuneups from Tucson Bicycle Service and a new vinyl reissue of the Pixies’ Doolittle from Desert Island Records. 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 21. Rocco’s Little Chicago Pizzeria, 2707 E. Broadway Blvd. $5 donation.

Winter Solstice Celebration at Crooked Tooth. Well, here we are, in the deep, dark, depths of winter. Join this local brewery in a celebration of the shortest day of the year. View the night sky with astronomer Jana Becker, enjoy lectures on astrology and attend a workshop on the essentials of self care by herbalist Sarah Karp of Sol Flora Botanicals. The class includes an in-depth conversation on self care, a herbal sugar scrub, a herbal face steam and a bone broth packet. Of course, you can also practice self care by visiting the Substance Coffee Co. food truck on site and trying the six Full Moon Brews Crooked Tooth has in their taproom. 6 to 9 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 21. Crooked Tooth Brewing Co.

15th Annual Holiday Express. Is it because of the Polar Express? Is it because they remind us of the past? Whatever the reason, it’s true that we somehow seem to associate trains with the holiday season. So where better to celebrate this Saturday than the Southern Arizona Transportation Museum? Write a letter to Santa, sing some holiday music, enjoy the museum’s exhibits and check out the gift shop. Plus, listen to a reading of the Polar Express, enjoy the arts and crafts show and sit on Santa’s lap to put in your last-minute Christmas orders. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 21. Historic AMTRACK Tucson Train Depot, 400 N. Toole. Free.

Winter Solstice Celebration. Crooked Tooth is celebrating the official beginning of winter with all manner of nocturnal affair. This party features night sky viewing with astronomers, hands-on meteorite interaction, astronomical lectures, tarot readings and self-care herbal workshops. Of course, Crooked Tooth will also be serving up six specialty “Full Moon Brews” such as the Crow Moon, which is a hazy IPA brewed with rosemary, vanilla and lemon; and the Flower Moon, a wheat ale with blueberries and white tea. Substance Coffee Co. will also be on site. 6 to 9 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 21. 228 E. Sixth St.

Sunday, Dec. 22

1912 Hot Toddy Tasting. 1912 Brewing Co. is celebrating the holiday season with specialty beer hot toddies! These warm drinks are typically made with honey, herbs, and spices, and when paired with beer, make for a one-two punch that is sure to warm you up. They will be serving multiple hot toddy options throughout the day. Substance Coffee Diner will also be on site. 2 to 5 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 22. 2045 N. Forbes Blvd.

Saint Charles Tavern Holiday Spectacular. This Sunday, Saint Charles Tavern is your one-stop shop/drink/listen location for all of your holiday needs. Local vendors will be selling goods, and then you can get your gift wrapped for free (with a suggested donation to the Sister Jose Women’s Center). And once you’ve got your presents wrapped, you can kick back with an eggnog drink special and some cookies. The Diatones, Just Najima, the Silver Cloud Express, Keli Carpenter and Miss Olivia and the Interlopers will all be performing live music. Head to the tavern to shop local, finish up your gift-buying and squeeze in some relaxation. 5 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 22. Saint Charles Tavern, 1632 S. Fourth Ave.

All weekend long

Mercado Holiday Bazaar. If you’re anything like me, you’re pretty much always looking for an excuse to go down to the Mercado District, just to take in the pleasant atmosphere. Here’s a perfect excuse that lasts for three full days! Support a group of local makers, artists and collectors at this family-friendly outdoor holiday shopping event, while also breathing a sigh of relief as you finish up the rest of your holiday shopping. Bring the kids! Bring your friends! At this point, maybe just have them pick out their own gifts, so you can know for sure they’ll like ’em. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Friday, Dec. 20 and Saturday, Dec. 21. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 22. Mercado San Agustin, 100 S. Avenida del Convento.

Miracle on Congress St. So, no, we may not have a 34th Street in town, but miracles can kinda happen anywhere, right? This event, happening Friday through Sunday, is a perfect way to spend some of the last few days before Christmas. Bring your kids to visit Santa, then enjoy some holiday treats and crafts and cuddle with a crew of adoptable puppies. And, while they enjoy hot cocoa and cookies, you can take some of that holiday edge off over at the bar with a holiday-themed cocktail. Ho ho ho! 4 p.m. to midnight Friday, Dec. 20, 11 a.m. to midnight Saturday, Dec. 21 and 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 22. Santa’s hours are shorter. 300 E. Congress St. Free.

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Thursday, December 19, 2019

Posted By on Thu, Dec 19, 2019 at 1:00 AM

Dillinger IPA Can Release. Dillinger Brewing Company is releasing their signature West Coast IPA in 16oz cans, so you can bring it home or impress at your holiday party. The Dillinger IPA reaches up to 6.9 percent ABV with 80 IBU, and is brewed with Ella, Amarillo and El Dorado hops. The brew also features “imported Vienna malts for a toasty backbone that balances the bitterness of the style.” Releasing on Thursday, Dec. 19. 3895 N. Oracle Road. A four-pack costs $16, or enjoy a pint in-house and a four-pack for $20.

MOCA Third Thursday: Campfire and Holiday Sale. Wow, can you believe we’re already closing in on the end of 2019? Bid this year—and this decade—adieu at this cozy evening at the Tucson Museum of Contemporary Art. They’ll have a campfire, hot beverages and a Celtic harp player making music in the courtyard. And you can go around to get all of your last-minute holiday shopping done in one place. Local vendors like Tucson Candle Co., Buteos and Bones, Desert Provisions, Beanie Sunshine and Fae and Friends will all be there, and proceeds support both local makers and MOCA’s community programs. 6 to 8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 19. Tucson MOCA, 365 S. Church Ave. Free.

Thirsty Thursdays Social Run. With Fleet Feet + Westbound. Surviving the holiday season with your physique relatively intact is all about balance, right? That’s what makes this recurring Thursday evening event so nice. You head over to the MSA Annex to do a 3-5 mile fun run or walk on the Loop. Then, you end up back at the Westbound, where you can get a buck off of your first beer or cocktail. Whether you’re a hardcore runner or someone just dipping your toes into the world of cardio, it’s difficult to go wrong with a free event and discounted alcohol. Come make some new running friends and earn yourself a drink. 6 to 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 19. MSA Annex, 267 S. Avenida del Convento Free.

It’s a Wonderful Life. Yeah, it’s the week of Christmas, get ready for a whole lot of jolly screenings. The Fox Theatre is screening the tear-jerkiest of Christmas films twice this week, just in case you want to reignite your passion for life multiple times. There’s really nothing more to be said about how important this film is in the Christmas canon, so instead, here’s some trivia: the film was a flop upon initial release, but went on to be ranked as the “#1 Most Inspirational Movie of All Time” by the American Film Institute. Also, a photo of a six-month-old James Stewart is featured on the Bailey’s home. 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 19, and 2 to 5 p.m. Monday, Dec. 23. 17 W. Congress St. $7.

The Historic Y Gathering of Friends. In true Tucson fashion, this event is one that’s full of local food, drinks and music, put on to celebrate the tenants of The Historic Y and their work in the arts, education, human rights and environmental justice sectors. Chow down on bison dogs, veggie tamales, calabacitas, wine, scratch margaritas and beer from Borderlands Brewery. Plus, feel free to bring a desert or side dish of your own if you’d like. Live music will be provided by artists including Cadillac Mountain Bluegrass, Just Najima, Emilie Marchand and Gabriel Naïm Amor, Church Pants, DJ Roberto Lopez and DJ Luis. 5 to 10 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 19. The Historic Y, 738 N. Fifth Ave.

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Posted By on Thu, Dec 19, 2019 at 1:00 AM

click to enlarge Laughing Stock: Quality Comedy Week!
Jimi Giannatti
Kristine Levine is the frosting and the cake at Brew Ha Ha’s 4th Anniversary show, Friday, Dec. 20 at Borderlands Brewing.
Kristine Levine heads up an anniversary bash

Almost any comedy club in the country would welcome the lineup for Brew Ha Ha’s fourth-anniversary show. Kristine Levine headlines a bill that includes Jamie Kilstein, who just co-headlined with Ian Harris at 191 Toole; perennially popular regional headliner Pauly Casillas; and Michael Longfellow, who headlines at The O on Tuesday, December 21.

After four years of getting better almost monthly, Tucson’s longest-running independent comedy show is also its best value. Incredibly, tickets are still just $5. The celebration is at 8 p.m., Friday, December 20 at Borderlands Brewery. Make reservations on squareup.com or pay at the door. Dogs are always welcome.

According to her biography at kristinelevine.com, “Kristine is best known for her role on the hit Netflix series Portlandia, and her starring role in the recently re-released film, 'The Unbookables'."
The Unbookables, produced by comedian Doug Stanhope, introduced the world to what’s been called The Doug Stanhope Family. Often recognized as one of America’s top comedians, Stanhope is cursed, or blessed, with a blazing intellect and unique cultural fluency in the midnight realms of human opportunity.

For The Unbookables, first released in 2012, Stanhope loaded an unreliable van with hand-picked acolytes and dispatched them on a tour of sleazy midwestern comedy clubs. The results, hilarious, provocative and defiant, were re-released last year on Amazon Prime Video.

Levine also appeared in Welcome to Bridgetown, a documentary about the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, starring Patton Oswalt; Stanhope’s TV special documentary, Beer Hall Putsch; and the TV series, Permanent Comedy with Todd Armstrong.

In 2018 she released a popular recording of her explicit spoken word and comedy performance, “Hey Sailor,” on the Stand Up! Records label. It’s available via Amazon.com Music and other online outlets.

Levine’s comedy endearingly and alarmingly revolves around more than a decade working in a porn store and raising three children. By all accounts, she did an exceptional job at both.

Since moving from her Portland home town, she has become a local standup icon and radio star in Tucson, co-hosting The Frank Show on 96.1 KLPX from 6 to 10 a.m., weekdays. The show can be heard streaming live at klpx.com.

Her bio says it best, “A mother of three, married four times, with stories of love, disaster and 14 years clerking in a porn store, this woman has lived to see it all.” She also is the first female comedian to have toured all 50 states.

Casillas is the only local in the lineup. He’s the devoted, hometown-bound dad of two very young daughters. The nationwide popularity of his Twitter account launched him into standup when his wife was pregnant with their first daughter. His stage range has since extended primarily to Phoenix, where he is as popular as he is here. He founded The Switch, a combination improv, and standup show, that still runs at The Hut, hosted by Matt Ziemak. Casillas now hosts it periodically in Phoenix’s trendy Crescent Ballroom.

We wrote about new Tucsonan-via-Los Angeles Jamie Kilstein last week when he co-headlined with Ian Harris at 191 Toole. It was a festival of nerdish comedy and the people who love it. Kilstein’s laugh lines come in a rush of bemusement about paradoxes the rest of us take for granted.

A late addition to the bill is Michael Longfellow, about whom you’ll find more, below. He also headlines at The O on Saturday, December 21.

Michael Longfellow at The O

At the age of 25, Michael Longfellow has a solid grounding for a successful comedy career. He's placed second in Atlanta’s storied Laughing Skull Comedy Festival. He also has performed on Conan and was tapped by Turner Broadcasting (TBS) as one of its Comics to Watch. Fans now can follow him on Hidden America with Jonah Ray and Bring The Funny on NBC.

It just shows how far good looks, ambition, talent and hard work can take some people. Longfellow started comedy and college at the same time in his home town of Phoenix. He performed regularly at the Tempe Improv and Stand Up Live. Importantly, he also helped run The Big Pine Comedy Festival in Flagstaff, where he met comedians and producers from all over the country.

Longfellow headlines at The O at 8 p.m., Saturday, December 21. Reservations are $7 via Eventbrite and $10 at the door. The club has a two-drink minimum. The O encourages audience members to enjoy its new, free after-show tradition of karaoke with the comedians.

More Laughs!

Friday, Dec. 20, Standup with Michael Malone, 8 and 10:30 p.m., Laffs Comedy Caffe ($12.50 and $17.50) and Beginners and Veterans Comedy at 10:30 p.m. at Tucson Improv Movement (TIM)($5) Long-form improv with Choice Cut, Improv 401 and Como Se Dice at 7:30 p.m. and The Soapbox at 9 p.m., at Tucson Improv Movement (TIM) ($5). Family-friendly improv with Completely Unscrewed (NBOJU full cast) at 7:30 p.m., Unscrewed Theatre ($5 and $8).

Saturday, Dec. 21: Standup with Michael Malone at 7 and 9:30 p.m., at Laffs Comedy Caffe ($12.50 and $17.50). Improv with The Ugly Sweater Show and Harold Alpha at 7:30 p.m., and another Ugly Sweater Show with The Dating Scene at 9 p.m., TIM ($5). Family-friendly improv with Elves Gone Bad: A Pirate’s Christmas at 1 p.m., Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed (NBOJU) at 7:30 p.m., and Unscrewed Double Feature at 9 p.m., Unscrewed Theater ($5 and $8)

Free Open Mics

Sunday, Dec. 22, 6:30 p.m., The O, and 8 p.m., Chuckleheads in Bisbee.
Monday, Dec. 23, 7 p.m., Comedy at the Wench, The Surly Wench Pub.
Tuesday, Dec. 24, 6:45 p.m., Neighborhood Comedy at The Music Box Lounge.
Thursday, Dec. 26, 8 p.m., Laffs Comedy Caffe and 8:30 p.m., Rockabilly Grill.

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Posted By on Thu, Dec 19, 2019 at 1:00 AM

Mashing together low-end jazz, ambient, rock and hip-hop, Brokeback is the longstanding side project of Douglas McCombs, bassist with Chicago post-rock experimentalists Tortoise. They will tap out Morse Code for the Modern Age: Across the Americas at El Crisol (formerly Exo Bar). With the synth-heavy cinematic psychedelia of L.A. Takedown and the electronic minimalist drone magic of Tara Jane O’Neil...

“O Come All Ye Faithful” played as a samba? In a special Yuletide performance, Nossa Bossa Nova cross pollinate traditional Christmas melodies with Brazilian rhythms and Portuguese lyrics arriving at a truly unique sound that is both exotic and familiar. In the Lookout Bar & Grille at the Westward Look Resort…

Only in a deterministic universe where free will is a mere illusion is such a pairing possible. Loveland and The Surfbroads uphold the far-from-equilibrium chaos. At Tap + Bottle-Downtown…

These mop tops have set records in Tokyo and London. Meticulously recreating the sounds, sights and mania of a live Beatles’ concert—from the classic bowl haircuts to the backline of Vox amplifiers—The Beatles Tribute promises a night of nostalgia not soon forgotten. In the Paradiso Lounge at Casino del Sol…

Flame, Flamenco & Romance. As formerly seen on QVC, the charismatic Spanish bolero-hat-wearing classical guitarist Esteban and Anthony Mazzella, who Billboard has touted as the “new generation of guitar hero,” form a musical tour de force. At the Rialto Theatre. Electric violinist Teresa Joy provides accompaniment…

This potent English blues harpist/guitarist was born in the town of Wells, Somerset in 1969. In 1997, after moving to California, he started picking up the guitar. “I play guitar like a drum. I play the harmonica like a drum as well, very rhythmically. If I get too far from the rhythm, I know I am doing something wrong.” Tom Walbank acts as guide through a cerulean delta. On the patio at Agustin Kitchen…

This year’s The Historic Y Gathering of Friends 2019—a festive gathering in appreciation of those doing exemplary work in the arts, education, human rights and social and environmental justice throughout Tucson—will feature music by Cadillac Mountain Bluegrass, Emilie Marchand & Gabriel Naïm Amor, Just Najima and Church Pants. DJs Roberto Lopez and Luis spin. At The Historic Y…

This installment of Opti Club sees special guests Corbin and Low Audio join resident DJs H.R. Guerin and Lance Fairchild behind the decks. At Club Congress…

A taste of Spain in downtown Tucson. Alternating weekly, throughout the month of December singer-songwriters Amanda Rochelle and Natalie Pohanic shall serenade for Tapas & Tonics. In the lounge at the AC Hotel Tucson…

Playing bossa novas, ballads and blues, The Jed Paradies Trio swing at The Coronet…

Pianist Elliot Jones presides at Piano Bar Thursdays at The Dusty Monk Pub. And you are welcome to prod the ivories. Bring your own sheet music or peruse through the host’s books…

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Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Posted By on Wed, Dec 18, 2019 at 12:34 PM

It’s a holiday tradition to don an ugly sweater this time of year, but did you know you can enjoy the art of the ugly attire while enjoying a night at the zoo?

In honor of National Ugly Sweater Day, the Reid Park Zoo is hosting a special night of its zoo lights celebration on Friday.

In addition to strolling through the Zoo grounds to take in the dancing lights, falling snow, visits with Santa and seasonal treats, guests are invited to show off their tackiest, wackiest and most gleefully gaudy Christmas sweater to add to the holiday ambiance.

At 7 p.m., they can enter an ugly sweater fashion show and contest in the Zoo’s Event Garden with a prize going to the ugliest of the ugly. Tucson Desert Harmony Chorus will also perform during the evening’s festivities.

Admission to Zoo Lights is $10 for adults, $6 for children ages 2 to 14, and $3 off for Zoo Members. Children under 2 are free. Guests can bring a can of food for the Community Food of Southern Arizona, a new toy for Tucson A-List or pet supplies for the Humane Society of Southern Arizona to receive $1 off admission. Discounted group ticket packages are available for groups of 20 or more.

The Reid Park Zoo is located at 3400 E. Zoo Court.

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Saturday, December 14, 2019

Posted By on Sat, Dec 14, 2019 at 1:00 AM

Breakfast with Santa at Dutch Eatery. For the holiday season, The Dutch Eatery & Refuge is hosting a special meal with THE Santa himself. At the special stop, you can enjoy caramelized French toast, chile eggs, chia pudding and eggs Benedict. They’re even bringing out the
big guns, and serving traditional Dutch oliebollen, which are fried dough balls sprinkled with powdered sugar. 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 943 E. University Blvd. $17.50. Reservations are required, call 520-792-6684

Gingerbread House Decorating Class. Catalyst Arts & Maker Space is hosting a sweet hands-on experience for the holiday season. Tickets include your gingerbread house and all its decorations, plus you get to enjoy cocoa and cookies while you design. Hosted by Tamara, former proprietor of the Chantilly Tea Room & Gift Boutique. There are two classes, at 1 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. At Catalyst Arts & Maker Space in the Tucson Mall. 4500 N. Oracle Road, Suite 110. $60 admission for two.

Southern Arizona Women’s Chorus Holiday Concert. Tucson’s premier women’s chorus has been around since 1981, and has grown to more than 70 members. Over the years, they’ve sung everything from music from the late Baroque period to Broadway medleys to jazzy sambas. Their holiday concert, A Spanish Allelu, is a program that will either have you wanting to sing, or being glad that there are people who can sing so you don’t have to—depending on what kind of person you are. Either way, you’re in for a night of beautiful music. 6 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. at Hope City Church, 5729 E. 22nd St. 3 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 22, at Ascension Lutheran Church, 1220 W. Magee Road. $20, or free for kids 10 and under.

Season’s Greetings: Return to Sender.
Tucson Desert Voices, Arizona’s premier LGBTQ+ chorus, is all about understanding, cooperation and peaceful coexistence. In fact, their mission statement is “Fostering Community Through Song.” Who could be better to perform during the holidays, a time that’s supposed to be all about loving your neighbor and goodwill toward humanity and all that jazz? They’ll be putting their own stamp on many of the messages of the season in this absolute romp of a show. 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 3 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 15. Tucson Jewish Community Center, 3800 E. River Road. $20 in advance or $25 at the door.

Messiah & Bach.
There are few holiday experiences more vast and all-encompassing than a performance of Handel’s Messiah (or of highlights from it). Handel composed the music for this show in a frenzied 24 days, writing the letters “SDG” for Soli Deo Gloria (“To God alone the Glory”) at the end. This led to the popular story that he was divinely inspired to write “Messiah” when he saw heaven open up before his eyes. Who knows? But if you’ve ever seen the piece performed live, you sort of get the same feeling. The Tucson Symphony Orchestra is bringing you this in addition to several other holiday pieces, including Corelli’s Christmas Concerto, Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 and Handel’s Water Music, Suite No. 2. 4 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14, and 2 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 15. Catalina Foothills High School, 4300 E. Sunrise Drive. $46 to $86.

Art After Dark. Have you been to one of these late night events at the children’s museum recently? It’s a fun chance to explore the museum in a different setting than your usual daytime visit, and the first 400 attendees even get a pass to come back to the museum for free. This month, they’re showing A Muppet Christmas Carol in the courtyard, which, like all Muppet movies, is truly a masterpiece. Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat narrate! Kermit as the cutest little Bob Cratchit! Bring a blanket and some chairs, and get some hot chocolate and snacks once you’re there. 5:30 to 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. Children’s Museum Tucson, 200 S. Sixth Ave. Free.

Holiday Ornament Making. In case you haven’t been to Mission Garden yet, it’s a project led by Friends of Tucson’s Birthplace, an organization dedicated to recreating and preserving the city’s historic structures and landscapes. So, the garden is recreation of a Spanish Colonial fruit and veggie garden, complete with a native plant area and plenty of info on agricultural history. At this event, steep yourself in equal parts history, botany and holiday spirit by using items from the gardens, like gourds and okra pods, to make holiday decorations. 9 a.m. to noon. Saturday, Dec. 14. Mission Garden, 946 W. Mission Lane.

Winterhaven Festival of Lights Opening Night. Maybe you grew up in a town where there was always that one neighborhood that got particularly decked out for the holidays. You and your family would sip at hot chocolate and try to guess how many miniature light bulbs were on the roof of a local mansion. If you grew up in Tucson, you know that the Winterhaven Festival of Lights is on its own level. There are millions of lights on houses all through the neighborhood, with themes ranging from zoo animals to Frozen to classic Christmas movies. The streets are closed to cars so everyone can safely and freely take in the sights. And it’s a holiday experience like no other. Be sure to bring a food donation for the Southern Arizona Community Food Banks. 6 to 10 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14, to Sunday, Dec. 29. Winterhaven Neighborhood.

Queen Astara’s Winter Fairy Lights. Magic happens all year long at Valley of the Moon Tucson, where fairies roam freely (or at least where the magic of kindness is celebrated). Join the fairy monarchs, Queen Astara and King Astar, for a night where the magic of the Valley of the Moon and the magic of the holidays come together for an extra special experience. The grounds will be decorated with festive lights and decorations, and you can stroll through and keep an eye out for fairies and other magical creatures. Just be sure to keep your voice down, so you don’t spook them! You’re welcome to dress up if you’d like as well! 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. Valley of the Moon Tucson, 2544 E. Allen Road. $5, or free for members and kids 17 and under.

A Christmas Carol & Dickens Festival. Whether you watch the Muppets’ artful take on it, enjoy Bill Murray’s turn in Scrooged or just read the actual book, it’s sort of a must to see A Christas Carol during the holiday season. This year, why not watch a cast of professional and aspiring Tucson actors perform the musical version, complete with a live orchestra? You can also enjoy a preshow where you can hear “firsthand” from an actor playing Charles Dickens about how he thought up the story, and check out the free Dickens festival, with vendors like Frog & Firkin, treats, and caroling. Preshow & show at 6:20/7 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 13, at 1:20/2 p.m. and 6:20/7 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14 and at 1:20/2 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 15. Dickens Festival opens two hours before each show. Berger Performing Arts Center, 1200 W. Speedway Blvd. $15 to $29 in advance, with $5 added to prices at the door.

Holidays at the Markets.
The local farmers market circuit provides plenty to celebrate all year ’round, but this week, they’re all having special holiday-themed events. On Friday, Dec. 13, Udall Park Farmers Market (7202 E. Tanque Verde Road) has live music and vendor specials. On Saturday, Dec. 14, Steam Pump Ranch (10901 N. Oracle Road) will have live music, more than 50 food vendors and artisan goods. Also on Saturday, the Rincon Valley Farmers & Artisans Market (12500 E. Old Spanish Trail) will have holiday kids activities, live music and vendor deals. And on Saturday, Dec. 15, the Rillito Park market (4502 N. First Ave.) will have live music, vendor specials, a free holiday raffle and 80+ vendors. Hours for all are 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

RAD Marketplace Winter Market. If you haven’t started your Christmas shopping yet, don’t panic! But do get started. You’ll feel better once you do. And you’ll feel doubly better if you support a local business while you’re at it. RAD Marketplace, an artisan and vintage popup market in the Warehouse Arts District, is hosting plenty of vendors selling gift-worthy items, live music, DJs, and food trucks. Nothing like a high-calorie plate of food truck food and beats from local musicians to fuel you through a holiday shopping spree. Give YOURSELF the gift of a pleasant gift shopping experience. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 439 N. Sixth Ave.

The Muppet Christmas Carol. Muppets were merry to begin with, so combining them with Dickens’ classic only sweetened the deal. This free screening, presented by the Children’s Museum Tucson, will be held outdoors in the December air. We all know the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, but when it’s combined with world of Jim Henson, it gains a new (not to mention colorful) life. However, one of the best aspects of the film doesn’t have to do with Muppets at all: Academy Award-winner Michael Caine’s fantastically dour performance. 6 to 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14. 200 S. Sixth Ave. Free. Please bring your own seating and dress warmly.

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Thursday, December 12, 2019

Posted By on Thu, Dec 12, 2019 at 1:00 AM

Giving a whole new meaning to punch line

“I feel like, as opposed to LA, everyone in Arizona can actually defend me in a fight,” says comedian Jamie Kilstein. He likes it here. That’s a lucky thing because five months ago he moved here on a whim. “I have actually grown more (here) artistically than in my life in L.A. and New York,” he says.

Not that those great comedy cities treated him badly. He debuted on Conan. He’s been on MSNBC's Up with Chris Hayes, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Showtime, The Joe Rogan Experience and BBC America. He launched two podcasts, and he earned a national reputation for smart, edgy political comedy, joking about arcana that actually matters. He’s lately joking about other facts of life, but all the high-speed punches arise from the same energy.

Kilstein performs with fellow cult favorite Ian Harris and Albuquerque up and comer Ron Swallow at 8 p.m. Sunday, December 15 at 191 Toole.

Kilstein and Harris became friends in Los Angeles. “We kind of clicked because we both have political material. Oddly enough, we also train and coach Mixed Martial Arts.

“I think people who fight oftentimes don’t have much of an ego because we get our ass kicked a lot,” he says. “So, the idea of splitting a bill was more exciting to us. I just want to make art with people I like.”

Ian Harris started both fighting and doing impressions at age 6, inspired by the movie, Rocky. “As a kid I’d watch all the boxing matches,” Harris says, “and I would do all the play by plays and the interviews after the fight for my parents. I would be Muhammed Ali being interviewed by Howard Cosell.”
He says his whole family were really funny, so it’s not surprising that he would find jokes everywhere, even in taboo subjects. “I can’t avoid it. Even on accident I talk about religion or politics. Those are the things that interest me. Bur I personally steer away from (drug humor). I don’t do a lot of alcohol or relationships.” Nor do either he or Kilstein do jokes about martial arts.

“I think a lot of my stuff comes from a very nerdy kind of scientific background,” Harris says. “Like ‘Look at these weird beliefs. Conspiracy theories, religion, and why do we believe in these things when the evidence so clearly is the other way.”

Of the show, he says, “It’s going to be nerdy and edgy. I think it’s going to be really fun.” Tickets are $12 and $15 via Rialtotheatre.com. Doors open at 7.

Mega Lineup at Casa Marana

Dave Margolis presents a blockbuster lineup at the December 12 edition of his free semi-monthly Casa de Comedy Show at Casa Marana. Featured are Andrea Salazar, Nick Chant, Dominic DiTolla, Ashley Anna Tappan, Stephanie Lyonga, Monte Benjamin Roxy Merrari and Charles Ludwig. Most have headlined bigger shows in Tucson. Hear Margolis co-hosting the weekly Is This On comedy radio show at 9 p.m. Wednesdays at xerocraft.org/listen.php .

Applause for the Paws!

Sarah Kennedy headlines at The O to benefit the Humane Society of Southern Arizona at 8 p.m., Friday, Dec. 13. A 6:30 cocktail hour features an adoption event to make the day a lucky one for some shelter pets.

Kennedy started performing comedy in 2009 a few blocks from her Albuquerque home. After producing many shows, and sweeping her hometown papers’ Best Comedian awards, she left for the bright lights of NYC.

There, she appeared on the Today Show and MTV, wrote for The Advocate and Reductress and was a finalist in a national, NBC Stand-Up for Diversity competition.

Now back in Albuquerque she’s been a welcome guest on Tucson stages. Also performing are a hometown favorite drag queen, Miss Nature, and Autumn Horvat, creator and host of Comedians Who Aren’t Men. Eli Turner hosts. Tickets are $10 via support.hssaz.org/event/applause-for-paws/e255190.

Free Centenary Retro Game Show!

The longest-running live show in Tucson just keeps growing as its lascivious send-ups of mid-century TV game shows pack trendy Club Congress month after month.

The ensemble’s 100th show, and 8th-year anniversary, at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 14, welcomes back six popular “celebrity guests” from shows gone by to play an anniversary round of The Mismatch Game. The towering and authoritative host Chatty Kathee presides with her sassy executive assistant Swish Marley.

To celebrate, the show is free with a donation to Toys for Tots. Seating is first come, first served, and there will be no splash zone.

The Pirates Who (almost) Stole Christmas

Kids from the audience help improvise the storyline of Elves Gone Bad: A Pirate’s Christmas at 1 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays, through December 22. Reservations are $5 at unscrewedtheater.org/events/

The story is that Santa and the missus have retired to Tucson, leaving the North Pole elves unemployed. What with the melting Polar Ice Cap, apparently, an evil pirate captain sails to Santa’s workshop to recruit the elves as pirates. Pirates, of course, steal presents instead of giving them. Mayhem ensues, and only audience members can put things back right, somehow.

We think all the elves and reindeer should move to Tucson, form a union and put Jeff Bezos out of business. How about you?

Lots More Comedy

Friday, Dec. 13: Standup with Keith Carey featuring Matt Holt at 8 and 10:30 p.m., Laffs Comedy Caffe ($12.50 and $17.50). Improv with Beefeaters and Improv 501 Showcase at 7:30 p.m. and The Soapbox at 9 p.m. at TIM Comedy Theatre (TIM)($5). Improv Blox student showcase at 6 p.m., Family-friendly improv with Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed (NBOJU) at 7:30 p.m. and Freeform Friday at 9 p.m., Unscrewed Theater ($5 and $8). Burlesque with The Manly Manlesque Show: Silent Night, Deadly Night at 10 p.m., Surly Wench Pub ($10 to $20)

Saturday, Dec. 14: Kids improv, F.O.M.P. (Friends of Make Pretends) at 2 p.m. at TIM Comedy Theatre ($5) Standup with Keith Carey featuring Matt Holt at 7 and 9:30 p.m., at Laffs Comedy Caffe ($12.50 and $17.50). Improv with the Ugly Sweater Show and Harold Omega at 7:30 p.m., and The Family of Things and The Dating Scene at 9 p.m. at TIM ($5). Family-friendly Elves Gone Bad: A Pirate’s Christmas at 1 p.m., Unscrewed Family Hour at 6 p.m., and NBOJU: Uncensored at 9 p.m., Unscrewed Theater ($5 and $8).

Free Open Mics

Sunday, Dec. 15, 6:30 p.m., The O, and 8 p.m., Chuckleheads in Bisbee.
Monday, Dec. 16, 7 p.m., Comedy at the Wench, The Surly Wench Pub.
Tuesday, Dec. 17, 6:45 p.m., Neighborhood Comedy, The Music Box Lounge.
Wednesday, Dec. 18, 7 p.m., The Screening Room and 8:30 p.m., The Mint.
Thursday, Dec.19, 8 p.m., Laffs Comedy Caffe and 8:30 p.m., Rockabilly Grill.

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