As those of you who have been following 150 Shades of Shame, our erotic fiction contest, may have noticed, we announced the winners and a selection of honorable mentions this week.

So firstly, let's congratulate First Place winner Saba Bennett ("The Tiki Tryst") and Second Place winners Lucy Lucious ("New Floor") and Monica Friedman ("150 Prosthetics of Every Conceivable Color) for their spectacular entries.

Secondly...man, how about some of those honorable mentions? I mean, it was interesting to learn that our readers not only image we have incredibly interesting sex lives at the Weekly (Katherine Elizabeth Standefer's "2", to which I still must ask, what's with the sparklers?) but that we occasionally get down at the office (Narda Rivera's "Police Dispatch") — plus, there was anthropomorphic plant sex (Tommie Johnson's "Plant Man"), which is always interesting. Depressing in a way, considering our personals haven't had anything that unique in quite some time (damn you, Craigslist!), but still interesting.

But to completely ignore the many, many submissions we had that didn't make the cut would be a disservice to the folks who worked so hard to rub their smut all over the keyboard. So, let's take a look at the folks who missed the cut — and for some, they were truly juuuust off the mark. Each story is presented in its original, unedited form, aside from the occasional title I've hung around their necks.

Oh, and these are all seriously, seriously NSFW. Read in public at your own risk.

• Courtesy of The Chocolate Storybox

If there’s truth to the sentimentality that “good things come in small packages,” a concept like The Chocolate Storybox brings much needed simplicity to one of the most commercialized holidays of the year.

The site, based in the United Kingdom, is making its official launch on Valentine’s Day with a unique product that speak volumes about the limitless nature of “the virtual world”: that is, for chocolate fans and bookworms. Visitors to the site can peruse short works of romantic fiction, written by Skye Phillips, by clicking on a picture of a corresponding (and of course, temptingly bite-sized) piece of chocolate, previewed in the image above. Meant to tribute the “attractive and indulgent” process of immersing yourself in a good book, according to the site’s media manager Fiona Smith, the chocolate images selected for the site were actually provided by local business Sabino Artisan Chocolates.

Quora is a question and answer site that I have never heard of before, but find fascinating. Apparently, it's a discussion site, not unlike the often-maligned Yahoo! Answers, where users ask each other questions and are encouraged to answer one another in often entertaining ways.

That said, in the hypothetical battles section of Quora—which makes me happy simply by existing—someone asked which American state would win, were they all to declare war against the others. Note that in this hypothetical, there is no foreign intervention in any way.

Well, discharged Marine Jon Davis has the answer, which comes in the form of a sprawling, oral-history style account, not unlike the stellar novel World War Z. There are even graphics!

The first real occupation attempts happened when attempts were made to secure more assets.

The Republic of Texas sought to gain strategic advantages in the Central United States. To do this they sought to gain two strategic assets. The first was control of Whiteman AFB the home of the B-2 bomber program. The base was easily secured and the most coveted military bomber in the world was now in the hands of the Republic of Texas. The next was control of Colorado and her military installations of great value. Then finally was access to the Mississippi River. Two main offenses took place to do just that. The First Battle of New Orleans involved a massive force occupying the city to claim it as a port and artery for future engagements. In Colorado they met stiff resistance as many of the Texas military were unfamiliar with Mountain warfare. Colorado's major bases fell quickly since Colorado enjoys the smallest force to fight back the Texans, but they adapted an unconventional warfare stance that kept the Texans on edge for months. Still, at this point the mission behind taking Colorado had been achieved—control over its military bases and strategic assets. The insurgency does however slow down the growth of Texas.

New York pushed Northward. They pushed to claim all of New England and the food wealth they will need to supply their people now that resources from the Midwest are no longer available. The take over is mostly peaceful as many of the states have large, but mostly non-military populations. They encountered problems when large groups of refugees tried to flee to Canada and rioting ensued.

Illinois was calm. The Midwest Alliance grew steadily by seeking to secure the Great Lakes. They were able to take Ohio through a few fierce, but brief encounters. They also took on Minnesota and the mouth of the Mississippi River.

The West coast was now controlled by the two main powers—California with it's seat of power in San Francisco and The North East Union centered in Seattle. California gained support and taken control of all the states West of the Continental Divide and South of the Union. The North East Union pushed as far as Wyoming.

There is more—so, so much more—as the story tops out around 6,500 words, and it's worth a look solely to sate some morbid curiosity that one may or may not have developed amid the (empty) talks of secession that have been bandied about over the last few weeks.

For the record, Arizona has absolutely nothing of consequence to do in this potential war, being gobbled up by the "Californian Union of Democratic States." Take that as you will, rabid statists (which I assume is a more localized term for nationalists).

Cathi Herrod, president of Center for Arizona Policy—you know, the people who led the charge to make sure marriage in Arizona was only legal between a man and woman, and the people who send out regular e-mails called "5 Minutes for Families." In the latest she asks folks to pray for the victiims in last Saturday's shooting, but follows with some tips to "Help You Engage The Culture."

One of the ways you can "engage the culture," is by going to the Exodus International Equipping Leaders Event, in Phoenix on Jan. 21.

"Exodus is hosting an equipping conference for pastors and ministry leaders. This event is a prelude to their February 19 Love Won Out Conference. I hope you can make it to both events. Exodus is the country's most significant Christian ministry reaching out to those struggling with the homosexual lifestyle," she wrote.

If you really believe in prayer, take Herrod up on her advise and pray — pray for the souls of the members of the Center for Arizona Policy, for Exodus, and for others who believe in this crap—that they realize that if there is a god, he or she probably isn't too happy with Exodus, Herrod and her followers. Not happy at all.

From the Center for Arizona policy website, after the jump: