Spring weather has sprung in Tucson, and that can only mean one thing: It’s time to break out the torturous beauty devices.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Beautification and torture devices can be one in the same.

Winter’s colder weather has afforded us the privacy of long pants and jackets that allow our body hair to grow to shag-rug proportions. But here come the cropped pants, tank tops and Daisy Dukes.

While women have traditionally been the primary recipients of painful beauty practices, more and more men are getting into the groove—even with mankini waxes. Equality rocks, although we do hope guys steer clear of cropped pants and Daisy Dukes.

Shaving unwanted hair is so passé when we have newfangled ways to get rid of it—like with the epilator.

Don’t be fooled by the apparent cuteness of this sweet little hand-held device. The epilator means business. Epilators are kind of like mini lawnmowers you push across your skin. But instead of mowing down unwanted hairs, it yanks them out by the roots.

Don’t use it on your eyelashes.

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post.

A Pennsylvania pizzeria owner bred a terrorist plot that involved setting mice loose in his competitors’ pizza shops.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Pizza surprise.

Steer clear of any pies with miniature black olive-like toppings.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, March 9 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is 1 p.m. in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

FRIENDS are the again the song theme this week, as listeners had plenty of them.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post.

A London ice cream parlor’s new ice cream—that contained a creamy mixture of vanilla pods, lemon zest and human breast milk—was yanked off the menu nearly as quickly as it was introduced.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Let's hope he's not eating London ice cream.

We don’t really wonder why.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, Mar. 2 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is 1 p.m. in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

FRIENDS are the theme of this week’s song lineup, and we have good friends, old friends and friends folks want to set on fire.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

See more at Paula Deen Riding Things.

If you enjoy free things, the clock is ticking on our two Club Congress related contests:

Diamond Rings/PS I Love You Giveaway - You and a plus one for Thursday night's Optimist Club show, plus a limited edition 7".

Kitten and Young the Giant at Club Congress - You and a plus one on the guest list for tomorrow's sold out show.

Enter now! Go!

The Onion reports: "Embarrassed Republicans Admit They've Been Thinking Of Eisenhower Whole Time They've Been Praising Reagan"

Following his discovery, Priebus directed RNC staffers to inform top Republicans of the error and explain that it was Eisenhower, not Reagan, who carefully managed the nation's prosperity, warned citizens of the military-industrial complex's growing influence, and led the country with a mix of firm resolve and humble compassion.

"Wait, you're telling me Reagan advocated that trickle-down nonsense that was debunked years ago? That was Reagan?" Sen. John Thune (R-SD) said upon hearing of the mistake. "I can't believe I've been calling for a return to Reagan's America. I feel like an asshole."

According to sources, millions of younger Republicans have spent most of their lives viewing Reagan a stalwart of conservative principles, and many were "horrified" to learn that the former president illegally sold weapons to Iran, declared amnesty for 2.9 million illegal immigrants, costarred in a movie with a chimpanzee, funneled aid to Islamic militants in Afghanistan, and suffered from severe mental problems.

BTW: Have you noticed that in Arizona, it's getting really difficult to tell the difference between a real headline and an Onion story?

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

Either Malaysia had a heck of a party planned, or it has a heck of a black market for prophylactics, since thieves stole some 725,000 condoms from a port where the items were destined for Japan.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Perhaps the thieves could have used some wine with their haul.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, Feb. 23 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is 1 p.m. in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

More CRAZY songs are up this week, as is our weekly polka fix.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

The Tucson World of Warcraft Card Game group meets every Sunday afternoon at Amazing Discoveries.

Their fun doesn't end along with the card games, however.

Tucson WOW does a lot for charity. In December, as a group of 25 players, they participated in a can drive for local shelters. The group raised over 580 cans in total. They've also made clothing donations to an organization called OpenDoor.

"Tucson WOW isn’t just a community group of geeks that just play cards; it’s a family," says Krisitin Ashworth, a member of the group. "We help each other as much as we can, we host family dinners and we are always looking for new people to join our family."

Tucson WOW currently has more than 20 members who range in age from 12 to over 30. If you are interested in joining, Ashworth says that they're always glad to teach the game or lend a deck.

The group meets at Amazing Discoveries, 2928 E. Broadway Blvd., on Sundays from noon to 6 p.m.

An honored guest is putting into town next week, but instead of tea and crumpets, we might need to break out the handkerchiefs and chastity belts.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Consider yourself warned: Tiger's coming to town.

Tiger Woods is coming to Marana.

Woods’ website schedule says he’ll be attending the Accenture Match Play Championships at Marana’s Ritz-Carlton Golf Club. The tournament runs from Feb. 23 to 27.

Although his reputation nose-dived from a top-notch golfer to a first-class cheater, Woods still fuels the general public with much fascination, much in the same way we can’t stop staring at car wreck or a big, fat zit.

Expect traffic delays.

Even people who are not fans of golf have come to appreciate Woods for his public displays. Seeing him in action can provide hours of entertainment since we never know what he’ll come up with next.

One of his most recent antics was spitting on the 12th green during the final round of the Dubai Desert Classic, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Here’s where our handkerchiefs come into play.

The act of hurling a wad of spit onto a pristine green during a public tournament not only horrified at least one sportscaster, but also merited Woods a monetary fine. The European Tour slapped him with the fine for breaching the tour’s code of ethics.

As if Woods would know about ethics. His more notorious claim to fame, of course, is the 120 women with whom he allegedly cheated while married to Elin Nordegren.

This video is adorable anyone, if only to think of someone in Japan with a pet prairie dog listening to Feist, but one of the comments on the YouTube page is nearly as enjoyable:

I am not confident of English conversation. However, it answers.

Japan was able to keep the prairie dog only several years ago now though it seemed not to be able to keep the prairie dog in Japan.

Have you understood?

[Daily What]