#tucsonblizzard reports of a band of rampaging yetis coming down from the mountains. oh god they are at the door, someone hel..........
— Carlos Wilhelm (@BeardlyManstach) February 20, 2013

So it appears that we are now, finally, in the clear, Tucson. The Storm of the Century of the Decade has blown through Southern Arizona, and it appears that Sonoran Superstorm Sofia (trademark pending, probably) has moved on.

Still, in the wake of S³, a number of questions have been left unanswered: who is still here to tend to the lawless, frozen hellscape in which we now reside? How long until we rise from the ashes of what we now call the Cold Pueblo? Who will sponsor the tribute concert in honor of the victims of the #TucsonBlizzard?

Okay, that's enough. The snowfall yesterday and last night was great fun for everyone (aside from the folks who were treated for hypothermia), and we've got the Tweets to prove it. Below the jump, the best of #TucsonBlizzard 2013.

• David Mendez
• OMFG SNOW

So in case you missed it, there's all this weird, cold, crystalline white stuff falling from the sky. I've heard some people calling it "snow." As I've lived in Central-to-Southern Arizona my whole life, I can't say I'm too familiar, but somehow it makes me want to drink cocoa.

Regardless, everyone appears to be freaking the f—k out about it, which is why we've established our Tucson Weekly #tucsonblizzard coverage, complete with live (not really!) webcam!

So send in your snow photos, as long as white stuff keeps falling from the sky, and we'll post 'em. If you'd rather tweet them to us, make sure to use the hashtag #tucsonblizzard, which is far superior to the local daily's #tucsonsnow tag—after all, only a blizzard would cause this much wonder and confusion among Tucsonans.

Remember Guy Fieri's Times Square-located "restaurant," Guy's American Kitchen and Bar—the one that was absolutely savaged by the New York Times to such a degree that they removed menu items?

Well, it appears that Fieri didn't purchase the domain name, guysamericankitchenandbar.com — so someone else did, and created a menu full of insane(ly hilarious) menu items. Care for an appetizer?

• guysamericankitchenandbar.com
• "If You Can Eat Here, You're A Shark!"

And if Guy's Big Balls weren't enough to sate your appetite, consider one (or more! This is America, after all!) of the entrees below:

• guysamericankitchenandbar.com
• "A Real Human Being, And A Real Hero"

My personal favorite: "The Panamania!," a deep-fried snake with a picture of David Lee Roth stapled to it and a sparkler in each eye; served, of course, with a Bud Light that must be wrung out of a Hawaiian shirt.

Apparently, New York City-based programmer Bryan Mytko is claiming responsibility for this work of genius:

Guy Fieri didn't register his restaurant's domain name, so I picked it up. I think this new menu look greatguysamericankitchenandbar.com

— Bryan Mytko (@BryanMytko) February 19, 2013

Well done, Bryan. Go look at his hilarious website—quickly!—before the bleached hedgehog that resides upon Guy Fieri's head orders him to pull it down.

Now, this video isn't NSFW per se, but the description reads "The highest number of unintentional sexual innuendos you'll ever find in one place," and that's as accurate as it is joking.

The ice cream, apparently known as "Egg Ice Cream" isn't actually within a condom, but within a rubber container that one has to cut to get to the goodness inside...so these girls follow the instructions, and madness ensues.

I can't even be mad at the good folks at the Pima County Public Libraries for this — I mean, it's silly, and it's (vaguely) literary. That's what matters, right?

But now that the "Harlem Shake" meme (which, as we at Weekly World Central will vehemently argue is absolutely NOT the Harlem Shake, which is more rapid shoulder shimmy than it is Elaine Benes dancing, or whatever the f—k people think the Harlem Shake is now) is surely on its way out, I've got one more version of it that I'd like to share with you folks in Internet-land.

A happy 25th Anniversary to the International Wildlife Museum. They are celebrating this special day today, Saturday, Feb. 16 with only $3 admission to the museum, located at 4800 W. Gates Pass Rd. If you haven’t been before, or haven't visited the museum in a long while, here is your chance to make a day of it. A slew of events will be going on including arts, crafts, games, prizes and food!

Food Trucks will be all over the beautiful grounds of the museum serving up awesome grub from the likes of Serial Grillers, Jackie's Food Court, Mafooco, You Sly Dog, Mike’s Roadside Café, and German Food Station. If you live on the west side, and don’t usually get out to other food truck roundups, this is a perfect opportunity. Outdoor tables and chairs will be provided for your dining comfort. For all the details visit www.thewildlifemuseum.org.

Now, I have nothing against Brother Jed, the traveling evangelist who routinely rolls up to the University of Arizona campus to shout at students about how their sinful ways are leading them to Hell — I mean, you've gotta follow your heart's passions, right? — but watching students protest his speech by countering with their take on the Harlem Shake is some damn good viewing.

For the uninitiated, the Harlem Shake meme (as it has apparently become a thing that will hopefully die soon) involves one person dancing to some EDM tune, followed by a large group of people dancing to the song after the beat drops. None of them are doing the actual Harlem Shake, but that's neither here nor there.

My concern, at this point, has to be for the poor person in the penguin outfit that Jed knocks the f—k out. Jed was well within his rights, as I feel a man that's surrounded in enemy territory should do everything possible to avoid getting humped by hundreds of people at once, but man. Poor penguin.

Don't worry friends. If you're alone today, you can at least take solace in the fact that you're not the only one having romantic issues this day.

Or, apparently if you live in Los Angeles, every day.

Truth be told, this video is money mostly for the fact that it's got Jaleel White (of "Urkel from Family Matters" fame in it. Give it a shot.

Oh, and it's got NSFW written all over it. At least use headphones.

• Courtesy of The Chocolate Storybox

If there’s truth to the sentimentality that “good things come in small packages,” a concept like The Chocolate Storybox brings much needed simplicity to one of the most commercialized holidays of the year.

The site, based in the United Kingdom, is making its official launch on Valentine’s Day with a unique product that speak volumes about the limitless nature of “the virtual world”: that is, for chocolate fans and bookworms. Visitors to the site can peruse short works of romantic fiction, written by Skye Phillips, by clicking on a picture of a corresponding (and of course, temptingly bite-sized) piece of chocolate, previewed in the image above. Meant to tribute the “attractive and indulgent” process of immersing yourself in a good book, according to the site’s media manager Fiona Smith, the chocolate images selected for the site were actually provided by local business Sabino Artisan Chocolates.

Arizona Hops & Vines is débuting their newest creation, Drag Queen, Saturday Feb. 9. This is a hops-infused, carbonated wine in a beer bottle. Festivities include an actual Drag Queen race, a Live DJ, beers from Dragoon Brewing Co., and wine from Burning Tree Cellars as well as their own wines for tasting. I have been told that many professional Queens will be there for your entertainment. No T, no shade gurl!

Anyone can run, so just show up by 1 p.m. in drag, ready to run, for a free glass and tasting of this new wine. A portion of precedes go to Precious Life Shelter for expecting moms. $20 for 10 drink tickets plus a Hops & Vines souvenir glass. Arizona Hops & Vines is located at 3450 Highway 82 in Sonoita. Party starts an 12 p.m. till 6-ish. You can find all the detail at their website here.