My Valentine's Day plans are all set up. Have been so for quite some time, thanks to my obsession with details and planning ahead.

Then Casino del Sol's latest email hit my inbox, and now it's time to re-evaluate my priorities. And those of my wife.

The far superior of Tucson's two tribal gaming outfits — hey, Desert Diamond, got any more visits from the Dazz Band coming up? — has a pair of uniquely attractive events for next week that are likely to draw vastly different audiences.

First up is 'Hunks, The Show,' which apparently is an all-male revue of some sort that is going to be in Del Sol's Events Center on Tuesday night. The free-for-all-Club-Sol-members (note: joining this club is free, so if you're not already, do so!) event that is described as a "live high-energy production that showcases creative choreography and extravagant costumes guaranteed to captivate women of all ages!"

I'm sure men are allowed to be captivated, too. And not just by the choreography and costumes. Check out this clip to see if Hunks is up your alley:

Two nights later, on V-Day, Del Sol's poker room has spiced up its weekly $100 deep stack tournament by having 2004 World Series of Poker champion Greg Raymer set to participate. The oversized professional known as 'Fossilman' for his penchant for using fossils as card protectors while at a poker table — and who also enjoys slipping on some freaky snake-eyes glasses before staring you down when in a hand with him — will have a $500 bounty on his head that whoever knocks him out would collect.

Here's Fossilman in action from 2004, when the former patent attorney from North Carolina became a (poker) household name and won $5 million:

Now, to figure out a way to be allowed to go to the latter without having to also attend the former...

Following a bizarre, alleged attempted murder in Fresno, Calif., courage has a new face: framed by unkempt hair and wielding a hatchet.

When “Kai” hitched a ride with 54-year-old Jett Simmons McBride, he was forced into defense-mode when McBride struck a Pacific Gas and Electric Worker with his car and proceeded to smother a woman who rushed to the man’s aid. Responding like any good Samaritan would, Kai leapt from the car and promptly struck the man over the head with the hatchet, disabling McBride and allowing him to be taken into custody.

Like all great superheroes in-the-making, the mysterious Kai has anonymity going for him. When asked for his last name, Kai replied, “No, bro, I don’t have anything.” Questioning his age drew a similarly ambiguous answer: “I can’t call it.”

Anne Hathaway might need to watch her back at her next casting call.

Hathaway’s Oscar-nominated turn as downtrodden prostitute Fantine in Les Misérables prompted moviegoers everywhere to dig out their tissues (the Weekly’s Bob Grimm included), but a viral video parodying the actress’ rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” skips the heartstrings and goes straight for the funny bone.

“For Your Consideration” is meant to be a good-humored nod to the actress as she rounds the final lap of awards season to the Academy Awards. (She’s already taken home a Golden Globe, Critics' Choice Award and Screen Actors Guild Award for the role). This spoof would fall flat if actress Emma Fitzpatrick wasn’t sporting a voice practically on par with Hathaway’s, and her delivery of lines like, “I already have my speech, ‘Oh God, is this really happening?!’” are so spot-on of Hathaway’s irritating over-eagerness on the podium as of late.

Sometimes, in the midst of a conversation that jumps from one topic (beer festivals) to another (pro wrestling) to another (birthday parties), one is bound to be struck with an altogether brilliant idea—an idea that must be acted upon immediately.

In this instance, Tucson Weekly editor Dan Gibson made the bold call, upon learning that there were no stand-alone Carvel Ice Cream locations in Tucson, to demand Fudgie the Whale cakes so he can relive the memories of enjoying ice cream cake with his closest friends and family.

• carvelatmoorpark.com
• The cake that haunts Dan Gibson's dreams.

This is his letter, and the response that followed.

I want to preface this by saying that this has been my favorite YouTube video that I've watched this year (though, considering how often I trudge through YouTube, that's not that big a deal)—and that it's unsafe for work unless you wear headphones on the job.

Why yes, it has been a while since we've said we'd give out the literal grip o' gift cards that were the prize for the contest—but, thanks to the awkward timing of the holidays, the editorial transition and some strange happenings during the public vote, things were left in the air.

But, with everything finally tabulated, we're proud to announce the winners:

In Third Place, with 3.6 percent of the vote, Matt Scott Tastes the Rainbow, by mikij:

• mikij

Originally, I was going to rip on Time magazine for going with a straight-up page-view grab by linking a slideshow of photos featuring Bo, the First Dog of the United States and the Obama family's pet pooch, on Twitter:

Hail to the pooch: Photos of Bo Obama's first term | ti.me/WxK6t0 (via @timepolitics)
— TIME.com (@TIME) January 22, 2013

My thoughts, upon clicking that link, could be summed up thusly: "C'mon guys. You're supposed to be the Magazine of Record for this damn country, producing mature, thoughtful coverage of the important men, women and events of our time, and then you go ahead and post drivel like thi-"

Then I saw this photo, and my heart melted in a manly fashion.

• Sonya N. Herbert / The White House

Mock me if you will, but that picture is damn cute—and considering that I'm someone who is vehemently against the dressing-up of pets in any fashion, that's saying something.

When Patrick Dempsey isn't too busy starring in TV shows like Grey's Anatomy or blockbusters like the latest Transformers flick, he apparently enjoys leading groups of cyclists through Tucson's Armory Park neighborhood, which is exactly where he'll be on Sunday afternoon.

The event, called "Ride On, Tucson!" will be held from 1 to 4 p.m. this Sunday, and will include a 2.2-mile ride, looping through the area around the park. Tom Danielson, a professional cyclist who has placed within the top 10 at the Tour de France, and Peter Flax, editor-in-chief of Bicycling Magazine, will also host the event and lead the ride alongside Dempsey. According to the event's Facebook page, Dempsey and Danielson formulated the idea "to celebrate the great bicycling community in Tucson and Pima County."

The event will also feature live music at Armory Park from Jovert, the Tucson Magnet High School's steel drum band, and local progressive bluegrass band Determined Luddites. Attendees can also receive free event posters signed by Dempsey and Danielson.

The event is free, and bicycle mechanics will be on-hand to change flat tires and make other small repairs at no cost. Helmets are required to participate, and the event is scheduled to happen rain or shine. More information on the event can be found here.

• Boomer, are you out there?

Once in a while I'd leave for some fry bread or coffee from the vendors, but the heat lamp at that moment was the greatest invention. However, the folks I talked with under the lamp decided someone out there could come up with a better design that had heat radiating from the bottom up. Just a suggestion.

In other places I've lived, the winter season can offer a community opportunities for bonding and getting to know your neighbors — digging folks out of the side of the road during a snow storm, pulling over to help someone put on tire chains, not freaking out when the person driving in front of you slows down as snow beats down on your window giving you the feel of experiencing warp speed in a Star Trek episode.

These things don't happen often in Tucson, although I sometimes wish they would — could be just what we need. Instead we have these once-a-year arctic blasts and if we're stupid enough to be out during them wearing our version of winter clothes, we bond under heat lamps.

OK, so yeah, there I was under this heat lamp when I struck up a conversation with a guy to my left who joked that he had to go buy a jacket at Buffalo Exchange. He's not from Tucson he explained, but visiting from Connecticut where folks experience real winters. He didn't expect it to be this cold. He mentioned the company he worked for has offices in Connecticut and in Tucson.

"Is that why you're here? Working?" I asked. "Well, yeah, but I'm also looking for someone," he answered. He mentioned his sister lives in Tucson and he had been in our Moldy Pueblo a few months ago and it was the most amazing three-hour flight from one side of the country to the other.

"Oh, you don't want to hear the whole story. It's long and ...," he said."Try me, I'm a reporter. I listen to people's stories all the time," I said. OK, ready, here is his story. His name is Paul by the way.

On that flight from Connecticut to Arizona, he sat next to a woman and they talked for three hours. He'd never had that kind of conversation before. They said good-bye at baggage claim, but Paul never got her phone number and more importantly, he never got her name. He went home and kept thinking of their conversation, and how he wished he knew how to get hold of her.

On this trip to Tucson, Paul decided he would look for her and from what he remembered in their conversation he started to go to places he thought she might frequent or where they might know her. He knew she studied art at the UA, so he frequented a lot of art galleries, but no luck. He was disappointed he was heading home not being able to find Tucson's Boomer.

I shared this story with friends that night, who shared the story on Facebook hoping to create a love connection, hoping to help Paul meet his Boomer. No luck, yet.

Here's what we know about her from Paul: She's about 29, obviously of Asian descent, studied art at the UA and was between jobs. Perhaps you know her? Perhaps you're Tucson's Boomer? Anyway, Paul's looking for you and wouldn't mind sitting down for another incredible conversation.

One of those moments I don't mind being a middle-woman. Email me at [email protected].

If you like helping a good cause, local beer, whisky tastings, cigars, and the 1930s then head on down to Hotel Congress on January 18th. From the Hotel Congress Facebook Page:

The Dillinger Days festivities kick off with a Friday night soiree that recaptures the spirit of the 1930s. “John Dillinger” will start off the night with a quick-draw, gun slinging show on the Club Congress stage. Then, taste premium whiskies, including an award-winning local — Vickers Brothers Whisky from Flagstaff. Borderlands Brewery will also be on hand with tastes of their local made brews. A museum of 1930s memorabilia in Copper Hall plus big band tunes from Kings of Pleasure and music from Duo Vibrato add to the early century vibe.

Proceeds benefit the Greater Tucson Fire Foundation to restore a 1923 American LaFrance Fire Engine — the very engine that responded to the Hotel Congress fire on January 23, 1934.

Also the Cup Cafe will have a Chili bar for noshing between events. Festivities start at 7pm. $20 in advance, $25 at the door.