Baby, does your heart beat like a small, one-handed stripper's leg one minute after winning a lottery?

If not, then you and Joe Biden apparently don't have much in common, according to the Bad Lip Reading YouTube channel. There, they've offered their interpretations of this year's Presidential and Vice-Presidential debates with, well, terrible lip-readings, such as Barack Obama's assertion that "Governor Romney tied up a chicken, then gave a whipping to a disabled," or Mitt Romney saying that he's like Judge Dredd.

Given that The Range has been at times a repository for funny things, cats and musical hilarity, I'm astounded that this has never been posted before. But, since I recently rediscovered it (and spent a minute and a half laughing like a fool) I feel that we should all take some time to decompress today and scan through Procatinator, the website that allows you to waste time while watching cats do silly things in sync with music pulled from YouTube.

• To cat-lovers, Procatinator holds a certain...a-peel.

I get that Procatinator is absurd, and for those who don't particularly enjoy cats doing things, it's not your cup of tea. But, as someone who was regularly amused by the antics of a girlfriend's cats doing simple, absurd things, this is a hell of a way to waste an hour or so. Personally, my recommendations include cat GIFs that feature a classic funk tune; one of my favorite '90s rap songs; and the best cat GIF/song mashup I have ever seen.

Wonderful. Enjoy not having an afternoon anymore, friends.

The Simpsons, in an effort to draw attention to their new season, have dropped a few videos poking fun at the election season as it begins to wind down (in as-now-typical Simpsons form).

The star of this video: Mr. Montgomery C. Burns, Springfield's resident evil, moneyed energy baron.

So, naturally, he's pulling for Mitt Romney.

Below the jump, check out Homer Simpson voting, even in the face of Springfield's voter ID laws.

Just in time for Halloween: Joss Whedon's endorsement of Mitt Romney because "Romney is ready to make the deep rollbacks in health care, education, social service, reproductive rights that will guarantee poverty, unemployment, overpopulation, disease, rioting—all crucial elements in creating a nightmare zombie wasteland." Fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Browncoats everywhere will enjoy this.

Thanks to ABC News, we now have a list of 20 top Internet cat videos.

Here's one for you kitten fans out there. It only has 65.6 million views as of this writing. Go figure.

Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartener leaped from a capsule raised 24 miles into the sky by way of a helium balloon on Sunday, breaking the sound barrier and numerous world records as part of Red Bull's "Stratos" project.

This is video from his chest cam, taken in the midst of his free-fall — and, presumably, before he began to tumble end-over-end before straightening himself out. It's an incredible minute and a half. If you can manage it, watch it full-screen for full effect. Just be careful, you might get a bit dizzy watching him as he spins closer and closer to this big, blue and brown marble that we inhabit.

• Paul Ryan could not look any less comfortable, or any more like an early '90s fitness model, than he does here.

Poor, poor Paul Ryan. On the day of his Vice Presidential candidate debate with current VP Joe Biden, it's come out that he has no idea how to look natural in a photo shoot.

The photos, outtakes from a spread taken by Time magazine while Ryan was in the running for Time's 2011 Person of the Year award, were published today as part of the magazine's profile of the Vice Presidential nominee, which can be found at their website.

I'd include text from either of the stories that have been posted, but neither is particularly relevant to Ryan and these photos — the profile centers around Ryan's vague descriptions of his proposed budget changes while on the campaign trail, while the copy accompanying the photos spends more time talking to P90X creator Tony Horton, with the excuse that Ryan is a devotee to the hardcore training regimen.

So with that, I'll leave you with that photo above, of Paul Ryan looking a bit like Kermit the Frog curling a 40 pound dumbbell. Spectacular.

As mentioned earlier, this is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and Susan G. Komen For The Cure Southern Arizona has a fun little PSA that's been making its way around — rumor has it that it's a bit too risque for a few of our other friends in the local media, but not here, dammit.

So, with the interest of breast cancer awareness in mind, I present "Mammo Time." Enjoy.

Two of the quirkiest businesses I've found in Tucson reside on East Colombia Street. First, there's Creative Machines, a Willy Wonka-esque factory that churns out interactive public art and museum exhibits.

Then, there's Vintage Appliances. I passed by and couldn't help, but pause, park, and take an Instagram photo of what I thought was some sort of appliance graveyard. However, Rich Allen, soon set me straight and gave me an imprompteu tour.

• Mariana Dale and her trusty iPhone.
• Top, This was the scene that initially caused me to stop. Most of these units are used for parts to repair other appliances. Bottom Left: One of the retro style stoves in the show room. Bottom Right, A vintage Frigedaire is almost done being restored and would be shipped to England.

Allen's shop restores and repairs worn but classic appliances, mainly fridges and stoves. When I stopped by, they were working on an adorable Frigedaire that would be shipped to a doctor in England.

But they also sell lines of new-made-to-look old appliances that come in a a rainbow of colors from candy apple red to sunshine-y yellow.

If you're ready to redecorate or just a fridge fanatic, Vintage Appliances makes for an interesting stop.

If you haven't had a chance to participate in Wingspan's Tucson Latin@ LGBTQ Pride 2012 this week, you better go to the final event tonight — Electro Cumbia at Plush, 340 E. 6th St., 8 to closing. The evening, produced by MEOWMeow Productions, includes performances by Jaime J, Lola Torch and DJ Dirty Verbs. $3 at the door.