It won't be up in America until midnight, apparently, but if you're a fan of vintage synthesizers or just making noise, you'll probably lose an hour or so of productivity playing with Google's fully functional (and recordable) Moog synth currently available on Google Japan in honor of the late Robert Moog's birthday. I have no musical talent whatsoever, so mostly I just turned knobs and pushed keys, but maybe you can create something actually listenable before the Moog Doodle is no more.

From the genius behind Yo, Is This Racist? comes Yo, Should I Dump This Asshole?, a wildly profane guide to...well, you can figure it out. As a helpful guide, if you're asking if you should dump someone, probably just go ahead and do it. That's just my theory, but the site is still quite entertaining.

Apocalypso, a steel band from Tucson, Ariz., originally was formed in 1999, and has been together ever since. Apocalypso plays shows around Tucson at various venues, such as the restaurant Sakura.

Don Cox, Apocalypso's drummer, has played every steel drum that exists.

"[I love] showing the community something unique and fun," Cox says, "something that really makes an impact on the people."

Outside of playing with Apocalypso, Cox formed one of the first steel bands within an elementary school.

Although the steel band program no longer exists, Cox said that he is very proud of what he created, and that he will never be a part of something quite like that again.

Cox said that he and his bandmates experience lots of joy by, "making people happy," with the music that they play.

If you've paid attention to Weekly Wide Web, you know how Dan Gibson feels about Klout — though for those unaware, he's not the biggest fan.

As a young journalist slowly growing in stature and public awareness (a part of me is eagerly awaiting the moment I finally get more than 100 Twitter followers — at this point I don't even care if they're all porn bots), I'm supposed to treat social media with the utmost importance, following and retweeting people as if my career depends on it. Which, in the eyes of some folks, it just might.

If you're one of those people, it's good to sometimes be reminded that taking social media too seriously can make you a giant freaking douchebag. Hence, Klouchebag.

• klouchebag.com
• Proof of my Twitter douchebaggery.

From Klouchebag's entertaining info section at the bottom of the page: "Don't take it personally. This is about as scientific as Klout's own measurements — which is to say, it's pretty much a crapshoot. You're probably a lovely person. Although you might want to cut down on the swearing a bit."

So if you've got time today, give the site a whirl and realize how much of a jackass you are on Twitter.

[klouchebag.com]

Sure, it's another ad from the guys responsible for the fame of Chuck Testa, so this is essentially the product of a meme-generating machine, but I'm always going to support the roller-skating industry. They've given so much to me, so it's all I can do to be a little supportive in return.

BONUS ROLLER SKATING MATERIAL FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE: I wrote an article for the now-totally-sucky music blog Idolator about my night as a roller rink DJ (sorta) back in 2007.

Here is six minutes of slow motion video of various objects being destroyed by fire, wrecking balls or other forms of mayhem from the Danish show Dumt & Farligt, which translates as Stupid & Dangerous in English. Doesn't it seem like America should have already had a TV show by that title? What are network executives doing with their time and energy, anyhow?

[The Atlantic]

In a strange collision of comedy and music, Gabriel Iglesias and Ozomatli will perform at Casino Del Sol's AVA Amphitheatre on May 12th. We're giving away a pair of lawn tickets to a lucky reader over at our Free Stuff page. The drawing will be held on May 4th at 5 pm. Good luck!

Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook

The Onion, America's Finest "News" Source, has exposed a fundamental problem that threatens to crush Democracy as we know it: That every potential 2040 President is already unelectable thanks to Facebook.

If you ignore the other reasons I'm generally unelectable (being more "cute-ish" than "ruggedly handsome," a tendency to put my foot in my mouth, an ability to make people hate me despite/because of my politeness) there's a good chance that I, like so many other young Americans, have screwed myself out of the Presidency thanks to Facebook comments, photos and links that may only be funny to me.

Also, if nothing else, watch the video for The Onion's take on grandiose, war-like Presidential race graphics.

It surprises me a little that The Buffet has a Facebook page, but if you enjoy booze-related humor, it's a worthwhile "like".

Everything else will be downhill from this today. There's really no point in trying to create anything else, now that we've been exposed to a player organ that uses landscapes from the Star Wars series as a roll. Let's just start over on Monday.