• AP Photo/Vilnius City Municipality, HO
• http://denverpost.tumblr.com/post/8429974819/tankcar

The mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania, Arturas Zuokas, had enough of luxury cars parked illegally in his city, so he ran over a few with a military vehicle. Sure, this sort of thing would certainly be illegal in a thousand different ways here in America, but it would still be cool.

Mental note: ask mayoral candidates their position on smashing the luxury cars of jerks.

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

• Art and photo Ryn Gargulinski
• The Music Man in Yellow

Other projects are screaming for my attention. It’s time to write the sequel to “Moby Dick.” Then perhaps publish some other stuff I have lying around. Stay tuned!

In the interim, let’s celebrate the finale of a season well-done with a music-only show. It comes about, in part, to start the hiatus early. It comes about, in the other part, because this week’s weird news selection stank.

The zaniest tidbit around was about a newborn zebra somewhere in China that only eats if fed by a person wearing a black and white striped shirt.

So get ready for some rollicking music. The planned theme is finishing off the elements with songs about air. But there might also be some surprises in store.

Thanks! to all who listened in, provided requests and helped the show be a success.

Sure, we appreciate that you turn to us at the Tucson Weekly for news, cultural updates and photos of animals, but we also recognize that a well-balanced media diet is a good, healthy thing. In the interest of helping our readers discover new and exciting sources of information, we present the Twitter feed @beakeringnews. Their coverage of the debt ceiling debate has been essential, albeit somewhat difficult to decipher.

• I love this woman like a mother. Happy birthday Peggy!!!

This is a good time for me to propose my theory of “bar-as-family.” While many people call the Buffet a dive bar with a hint of a snicker — heck, the bar’s website celebrates the designation - it serves as much more to some. One could nearly call the relationships forged there "familial," although there's a lot more beer and a better juke box than any family gathering I've been to.

When a good friend I met at the Buffet died a couple years back, his mother sent some of his ashes to Miss Peggy. It’s been a meeting place and hangout for everyone from business professionals to bikers for more than 70 years. Some people go to church for community, others go to the Buffet and some go to both. To each their own.

Anyway, stop in tomorrow and say happy birthday to Ted and Peggy, and you’ll get to see what I’m talking about. The party runs from 1 to 4 p.m. Oh, and if you haven’t gotten Peggy a gift yet, she likes earrings. That is all.

• Photo of Sawyer by Ryn Gargulinski
• A pampered pooch will take a mile - and the entire couch.

Loosely based on Murphy’s Law for the human universe that tells us anything that can go wrong undoubtedly will, Murphy’s laws for dogs share the same clear-cut philosophy. As with any set of laws, some of the Murphy laws for dogs are broad enough to cover canines across the globe while others have regional variations that stick close to Tucson — literally. Such as the jumping cholla law.

No matter how small or carefully hidden a cactus patch may be, if one exists, the dog will find it. He will not find this aforementioned patch while sniffing softly and treading lightly, either. Said cactus patch will be found while he bolts off to chase a rabbit. The rabbit, of course, is familiar with the patch and hops merrily through the little non-needled nooks and crannies along a tiny, meandering path. The dog, of course, comes back with stickers in his tongue. The said cactus patch will be jumping cholla. The vet will inevitably be closed.

• Strangely, all the Monopoly photos on Flickr are of foreign versions of the game. Weird.

According to online gaming site Critical Miss, the reason you don't enjoy playing Monopoly is that you're playing it incorrectly. Get it together, people:

Real Monopoly is Monopoly played according to the actual rules. Now as you read this I can just imagine you shaking your head and saying, "Right... Because getting rid of free parking is so going to revolutionise the game!"

But I'm not talking about the rule changes that everyone knows are house-rules. I'm talking about the rules changes that everyone thinks are part of the original rules. I could waffle on, but it'll save a lot of your time and my typing if I just present you with the relevant section of the rules:

BUYING PROPERTY...Whenever you land on an unowned property you may buy that property from the Bank at its printed price. You receive the Title Deed card showing ownership; place it face up in front of you.

If you do not wish to buy the property, the Banker sells it at auction to the highest bidder. The buyer pays the Bank the amount of the bid in cash and receives the Title Deed card for that property. Any player, including the one who declined the option to buy it at the printed price, may bid. Bidding may start at any price.

Take your time. I imagine that 99% of you are at this point exclaiming something along the lines of, "The fuck? Since when was that how you're supposed to play Monopoly?"

Take a deep breath. I know I've just rearranged what seems like one of the fundamental pillars of the world, like the fact that you can't travel faster than light, or the fact that the Wright brothers were the first to achieve powered flight, or the fact that the Swedes do porn and the Dutch do drugs.

But you're just going to have to accept it.

While I might be getting close to Ron Swanson overload (wait, not at all), I applaud you illustrator Kyle Hilton for offering the world a weekly series of paper dolls. Right now, I can only have imaginary Parks and Rec conversations between Ron Swanson, April Ludgate, and Tom Haverford, but with ten (!!!) Arrested Development dolls, who needs a movie? Tonight, I'll be acting out my own extension of the series cut far too short. In other news, I probably should seek some sort of professional counseling.

[HT: Blogging via Typewriter]

[Note: this video has one somewhat NSFW moment.]

At NYU, hipsters have apparently taken over. While some hipster gear (scratchy, thrift store sweaters, for example) can generally be ruled out by our oppressive heat, we should still be wary of a looming hipster invasion here in Tucson. I've seen a few around town, but it doesn't seem they've organized yet, thankfully.

Take a break out of your hectic Tuesday, and relax like this squirrel. Then, check out this slideshow and make a big, cheesy smile as you eat from your bag of Cheetos (or is that just me)?

I believe this prayer to Lord Tiny Baby Christmas Jesus might have been sponsored by Powerade, but I guess Pastor Joe Nelms forgot that part. Still, hell of a grace, man.

[Daily What]