Martin Sepulveda, currently running for U.S. Congress in Arizona's District 9, was a bit overeager yesterday when defending our troops against some harsh language.

According to The Duffel Blog, State Senator Linda Lopez of Tucson's LD29, isn't a big fan of the troops. In an article posted Aug. 21, Lopez is quoted as saying, in an interview supposedly with Arizona Foothills Magazine, that "the troops should just go fuck themselves.”

Harsh words, particularly from someone who sits on the state's Veterans and Military Affairs Committee, and something that she should be raked over the coals for. If, you know, they were actually true. Which they were not, considering that everything posted on The Duffel Blog is satire — think of The Onion, with a completely military bent.

A few conservative blogs picked up the story and ran with it only to learn a bit later that that the story was bunk. As did Sepulveda and his Twitter account:

Every year, Beloit College in Beloit, Wis., puts out a "mindset list" for its professors — a set of reference points for instructors to have some idea of what references to avoid when talking to their freshmen about cultural matters.

A few of the items on the list are interesting to note (and will make you feel damn old), such as:

8. Bill Clinton is a senior statesman of whose presidency they have little knowledge.

16. Since they've been born, the United States has measured progress by a 2 percent jump in unemployment and a 16-cent rise in the price of a first-class postage stamp.

A few, however, are just headscratchingly painful:

4. Michael Jackson's family, not the Kennedys, constitutes "American royalty."

63. The Twilight Zone involves vampires, not Rod Serling.

69. Pulp Fiction's meal of a "royale with cheese" and an "Amos and Andy milkshake" has little or no resonance with them.

70. Point-and-shoot cameras are soooooo last millennium.

I have literally, never once, heard anyone from the Jackson family referred to as "royalty" in any sense, aside from snide jokes about his two sons, both named "Prince."

Head over here for the rest of the list.

The strange thing is that, for some reason, the fact that a woman is getting a tattoo of her boyfriend's name on her anus is not the strangest thing about this probably totally not safe for work video. It's the moment around the 19 second mark of this journalistic masterwork by the Broward Palm Beach New Times when the recipient of the aforementioned tattoo describes her first piece of skin art, a "fairy...crawled in a ball, with broken wings, and she's pulling her fucking hair." DEUCE-DEUCES. DEUCE-DEUCES, PEOPLE.

The whole Chick-fil-A fiasco has already proven that a significant number of Americans have no idea what the First Amendment actually says or means, but Joan Rivers is clearly trying to just get the whole thing revoked:

Comedienne Joan Rivers had to be escorted from a Costco store in Burbank Tuesday after she appeared inside, loudly protesting the fact that her new book was not for sale there.

The 79-year-old acid-tongued celebrity erupted inside the store. Witnesses told KTLA that Rivers handcuffed herself to a shopping cart before she used a bullhorn to continue her tirade....

"It's about First Amendment rights," she said. "Costco banned my book because of one word on the back cover. I feel like this is a country where the people should have the right to have the literature they want.

"This is the beginning of Nazi Germany," Rivers remarked.

A note: there's nothing in the Constitution about stores being required to sell certain products or that people have to shop at certain stores. Nothing about that at all. Sort of weird that the Framers overlooked that sort of thing, but who knows what they were thinking, right?

First of all, if you're going to go to the trouble of stealing something, it really shouldn't be a Facebook status. I probably see one status a day that's notable to me in some way, whether its clever or insightful or whatever, and then like the lead character in Memento, I go to sleep and forget it ever happened. On the other end, if someone "stole" a lyric I posted online, I'd hope my reaction would be to realize that I live in a place where I have constant access to drinkable water and no hovering threat to my safety and that having an acquaintance post the same meaningless crap I do is not a real problem. But, hey, at least someone's addressing the real issues facing HuffPo readers.

I'm going to speculate that every time someone places a lit firework between their buttocks, alcohol is involved (or a new Jackass movie), but it's good to know the police in Adelaide are looking into it. Also, to add insult to likely significant injury, the man is going to be fined for using fireworks outside of the one day allowed by law in the Northern Territory:

A Northern Territory man who set off a firecracker between his buttocks may have to be flown to a specialist burns unit in Adelaide.

The 23-year-old man was at a party in the Darwin suburb of Rapid Creek on Saturday night when he decided to let the cracker off, NT Police said.

'It appears a party was in full progress when a young male decided to place a firework between the cheeks of his bottom and light it,' said Senior Sergeant Garry Smith.

'What must of seemed to be a great idea at the time has backfired, resulting in the male receiving quite severe and very painful burns to his cheeks, back and private bits,' Snr Sgt Smith said.

The day I interviewed Republican Patrick Gatti for this week's cover story on the CD1 congressional race, who knew the interesting remark he shared with me would make news on the Arizona Republic's AZ/DC Blog.

The blog post kindly describes the Show Low retiree's campaign as low-key, although I mentioned he said he's only raised about $500, which is about as low as a key can get. But I digress. The focus of the post was Gatti's remark on his fellow Republican congressional candidate Jonathan Paton:

“He portrays himself as a warrior, but he was in the National Guard, which I consider to be of lesser quality than full Army,” Gatti said (although Paton is actually in the Army Reserve).

Gatti doesn't completely deny the quote, but that he "can't confirm that quote." However, Paton, the actual contender in the Republican primary, told the AZ/DC that he was quoted accurately in the same story and didn't understand why Gatti, who got Paton's service wrong to begin with (Army Reserve not National Guard), felt it was of a "lesser quality":

“I’m not in the National Guard, but we have a saying that we’re all green. We’re all the same,” he said. “My main reaction is regarding the reputation of the best army in the whole entire world. That army does not function without the Guard and the Reserve components. They have the same training and the same responsibilities in the field as the active duty component."

I wondered the same thing, especially when I shared the story with my mom, a former captain in the U.S. Air Force Nurse Corps, who probably said a few expletives under her breath in reaction.

Well, maybe Gatti was just confused the day I interviewed him. Did AZ/DC get to the end of my story? After chatting to me about cutting more federal dollars to the tribes (you know, the rent we pay for the land and all those wonderful things we did — look ethnic studies is banned in Arizona, so I probably shouldn't treat this as Howard Zinn moment.), he talked about how he and Democrat Wenona Benally Baldenegro were the only two congressional candidates to go before the Hopi Tribal Council.

Benally Baldenegro is Navajo. In fact, her candidacy was recently endorsed by the Navajo Nation Council. Gatti said this about the candidate:

He describes Benally Baldenegro, a member of the Navajo nation, as "a Hopi Indian and educated outside the reservation and brought back in to do work for the reservation."

My mom, a fourth-generation Tucsonan, proud to have served her country (especially as a nurse. I'm telling you, don't mess with nurses), was even more upset that Gatti didn't have enough respect to note Benally Baldenegro's tribe correctly and had the chutzpah to remark backhandedly about her education.

Too bad AZ/DC didn't think it was important to ask Gatti about those comments. Maybe an ethnic studies class for Gatti is needed after all and an introduction to U.S. Army basic training, which my mom is ready to provide.

John Enright has dropped out of the race for Pinal County Supervisor, which isn't terribly fascinating news, but the reason he removed himself from contention is a bit odd:

A Pinal County supervisor candidate has withdrawn from the race in the wake of voter-fraud allegations involving a former companion who, records show, has continued to vote by absentee ballot in the five years since her death.

John Enright, 66, had been seeking the Republican nomination for county supervisor of District 5, an area that includes Apache Junction and Gold Canyon.

He withdrew from the race Wednesday in a letter to Pinal County Elections Director Steve Kizer. In a written statement issued hours later through his attorney, Enright said he entered the race "wanting to bring a voice to Pinal County government" but was leaving it "for several reasons, including an almost year-long battle with cancer."

His statement made no mention of the scandal unleashed in an anonymous, undated letter sent several weeks ago to the Pinal County Recorder's Office. As recently as this year, the letter alleged, someone had been filling out and mailing in absentee ballots addressed to a woman who died on Feb. 3, 2007. The woman, Sheila Nassar, and Enright lived together at the time of her death.

Nassar was 60 years old at her passing. Enright described her as his "former life companion" and high-school sweetheart in a YouTube video posted Saturday in response to the allegations. They were in "constant contact" in the years that followed, Enright said, and he moved to Arizona in 1996 to care for Nassar, who had multiple sclerosis. They built a handicapped-accessible home in Gold Canyon, he said — a residence he shares today with a wife....

Pinal County Recorder Laura Dean-Lytle said her staff took the allegations seriously and turned over evidence to the Pinal County Attorney's Office. A spokesman there said he could "neither confirm nor deny an investigation into such a case."

[...]

She would not enumerate how many ballots issued to Nassar had been filled out and returned since her death. Records showed Nassar continued to be on the active voter rolls until officials received the anonymous note. She has since been removed.

It's hard to understand how this happened or whether the person running Celeb Boutique's Twitter feed is making a wildly inappropriate joke (the winking emoticon makes it seem like they know what they're doing), but either way, today isn't the day.

UPDATE: The company pulled the tweet and apologized.

As far as I'm concerned, the modern streetcar construction on Fourth Ave. and Congress hasn't been nearly as troublesome as I would have imagined. By and large, you can still get to where you want to go without too much hassle, the community has rallied around merchants in the area, and it'll be over sooner or later. Still, there's certainly an aesthetic issue with fences lining one of our city's most prominent streets directly in front of storefronts. So, I don't know whose idea it was, but drawings, paintings and such started popping up taped or tied to the fence. Events were launched to celebrate the incidental art, media outlets were interested, but then this morning, all of the work was removed to the dismay of, well, seemingly everyone:

No one seems to know (or is willing to say) who took the art down or why, although I have a few calls out to try to figure it out, so if someone cops to the removal, I'll post an update. However, taking the art down (some of which was damaged by the weather anyway) should motivate people to just put up more, right? What was up there helped me feel a little better about the city I live in, so I hope this mass removal (or any future ones) just multiplies the work that goes up on the fences.