Thank you, Tara Carreon, wife of (possibly) the most hated man on the internet/local attorney Charles Carreon, for proving the most disliked comment since we added the thumbs up/down mechanism and for being the first person this month to call for my firing in the comment section. I had the 10th in the pool, so I'm bummed.

Of all things, I'm meeting up with Charles Carreon himself next week, so more to come on that front.

It's one thing to get something for free because of what you're wearing — I still fondly recall the time that my I Love Hot Moms shirt got me free double meat in my Subway cold cut combo footlong because the sandwich artist told me that 'us moms appreciate that' — but I think I might draw the line at dressing up a certain way solely to get grub at no charge.

For those who disagree, I give you Carl's Jr.

The fast food franchise is giving away a free Amazing Grilled Cheese Burger on July 4 to anyone who is willing to dress up as Spider-Man.

They've even gone so far as to employ Spider-Man creator (and compulsive super hero movie cameo appearance maker) Stan Lee to provide some dos and don'ts regarding one's attire. For instance: no masks, unless you're also planning to rob the place after you get your free burger, and expect to pay if you come as anyone other than Spidey. I wonder if that applies to Venom.

iPads and other tablets are cool, but they provide a view into a world that can often provide information and messages that are in conflict with the true Christian-American way of life. But what if you could get a tablet that would pre-filter your media sources for you...linking you directly to Christian radio stations, making it easy to get all your e-books from a Christian retailer, filtering out the internet's naughty bits, etc.

Bizarrely, based on the specs, this tablet is in some ways a better deal than the Kindle Fire (cheaper, better battery, albeit a crappier display), but it doesn't do Flash and you can only see the pre-approved internet. So there's that.

Just when I think I've managed to make some sense of the world we live in, there's this, where the Kardashian family who went on an extended reality show photo shoot a vacation to the Dominican Republic and decided to film a semi-lipsynched version of Notorious BIG's "Hypnotize," wherein Bruce Jenner, once famed athlete, plays his wife's caftan-clad butt like a set of bongos.

My head hurts now.

I still remember when I was nine years old and Nickelodeon came up with a following of the election between Al Gore and George W. Bush that was kid-friendly and gave a watered-down version of politics and what makes the president so important. It was educational and I felt like I had a small grasp of being a grown up. I never cared about another election since then, but at least I paid a little more attention than I used to.

In an interview with Jonah Goldberg, editor of National Review Online, he gave his rash opinions about how incredibly stupid the youth in America really are and that the voting age shouldn’t be as low as it is. And it reminded me of that time 12 years ago.

The Daily Caller ostensibly aims to be a right-wing version of the Huffington Post, so I suppose a weekly gun giveaway sort of makes sense ideologically, but what if one of these Bill of Rights-engraved pistols ends up being uses in some sinister way? Yes, I get the idea that people kill people, not guns, but this really does seem like a PR nightmare waiting to happen. We'll stick to giving away Padres tickets, I think.

We all suddenly have a lot more time to complete our bucket lists. That being said, I am cancelling my plans to cliff jump off Lincoln's head on Mount Rushmore this weekend.

According to online science publication LiveScience, the discovery of the world's oldest known version of the ancient Mayan calender has been found. And, thankfully — or sadly, if like me you'd restructured all your debt to be due in January 2013 — the world won't end on Dec. 21, 2012.

Instead, researchers say, the world is going to go one for a few more billion, trillion or octillion years, which means there's plenty of time for Lionsgate to greenlight my screenplay for Madea Wins The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

So, if you were planning all of your upcoming doings around the destruction of Earth in a little over seven months, time to start finding things to fill up your future schedule.

And time for Arizona Daily Star parent Lee Enterprises to start thinking of another way to put off making those debt payments they keep finding ways to not have to make good on.

Joseph Curl of the Washington Times believes that Barack Obama must hate Jewish rappers.

Why else would the President of the United States ignore the death of Beastie Boys member Adam Yauch, also known as MCA?

Now, half-white Barack Obama (exactly my age) didn’t say a word, even though he was talking to college kids that day, but make no mistake, MCA was no Jay-Z or Kanye West. This guy was the real deal, groundbreaker, up from his bootstraps, Brooklyn boy made good. Funny the “coolest president ever” doesn’t say a word about the passing of MCA. Weird and kinda sad, actually.

I mean...I guess? The Beastie Boys, while a fantastic musical group, haven't been making waves at this point in their career. "Hot Sauce Committee Part Two" has sold 344,000 copies since its release last year. More than a third of that was a result of its first-week sales.

But I see where he's coming from, and I kinda understand his position. Up until this point:

The president took time from his busy schedule to comment on the passing of black musicians. When Whitney Houston, a longtime crack addict, died this year, the White House put out a statement. “I know that [Mr. Obama‘s] thoughts and prayers are with her family, especially her daughter,” press secretary Jay Carney said. “It’s a tragedy to lose somebody so talented at such a young age.”

And when accused pedophile and drug addict Michael Jackson died in 2009, the White House weighed in with the president’s thoughts. “He said to me that obviously, Michael Jackson was a spectacular performer, a music icon,” spokesman Roberet Gibbs said. “And his condolences went out to the Jackson family and to fans that mourned his loss.”

For comparison's sake, let's look at the best selling records of each artist:

Jackson's "Thriller" was certified by the RIAA as having gone platinum 29 times.
Houston's soundtrack to "The Bodyguard" is 17 times platinum.
The Beastie Boys' best-seller, "License to Ill," went platinum 9 times.

Jackson, despite the regrettable way his life ended, was unquestionably an entertainment icon.

Houston was, without question, the most significant female vocalist of her generation. She was set to make a late-career comeback with a film, Sparkle, that's now set to make millions off of her memory later this year.

Adam Yauch, while a great musician, is best remembered as part of a whole — a significant, irreplaceable part, but still only a part of the Beastie Boys' rapping three-man weave. He's no icon, just a "Brooklyn boy made good."

Furthering a political agenda with his death cheapens his life. Making subtle accusations of racism toward our president twists that agenda into something ugly.

[Washington Times]

So many choices...relish, buns, wieners. It's almost too much.

Catherine Scalia, 45, was arrested Thursday night when she offered the off-menu special to an undercover cop and took him back to her East Rockaway pad for some home cooking.

[...]

An undercover cop approached the stand Thursday and bought two hot dogs and water for $5 before the “specials” were announced.

Scalia took the cop back to her place and performed a striptease for $100 before unveiling the main course, police said.

“She agreed to manually stimulate him for an additional $50,” said Nassau County Police spokesman Kevin Smith.

She was slapped with cuffs instead.

[...]

“What do you want? It was a bad hot-dog day. I sold maybe $5 worth of hot dogs that day,” she told The Post after that arrest.

Great news for Steve Carter, a Philadelphia man who realized he was actually a missing child, whose biological mother disappeared taking him from his biological father.

Even better news for birthers, since part of Carter's journey involves a post-dated, somewhat fraudulent Hawaiian birth certificate. Now I don't know what to believe.

Carter always knew he was adopted, but when got older, he started to wonder who his biological parents were. That curiosity and a simple web search took him on a journey that would change his life and even now, there are parts of his story that remain a mystery.

While he's always been happy with his adoptive parents, something never felt quite right. Carter knew he was adopted from a Hawaiian orphanage when he was 4. But his birth certificate was created almost a year after his birth and he was labeled half-native Hawaiian.