It would appear that a New York woman was fired from her job at a car dealership largely because she was only re-hired for her kidney. Just a reminder that your work situation could always be worse. Happy Tuesday!

• Dan Gibson
• As seen Downtown during Club Crawl

April 20 came and went — except for those who might have made their brownies too strong and are still feeling the effects.

But 4/20 was supposed to be about more than just pot this year — it was supposed to be the night that those supporting the Kony 2012 movement "covered the night," making Joseph Kony the most infamous person on the planet.

Kony, for the uninitiated, is the leader of the Ugandan resistance group, the Lord's Resistance Army, notable for the conscription of children into soldiers and the mass killing of Ugandans.

So, how'd the campaign do?

I normally don't care who's running for president but this year I'm definitely voting for that Kony guy #Kony2012
— Jason Faykosh (@Faykosh13) April 23, 2012

Good show, guys.

What about the local efforts, you ask? In Facebook one group, a member posted "Did we save Africa?" In another, a woman posts trying to confirm plans for Cover the Night — with no response.

To their credit, I did happen to see a few posters while wandering Fourth Avenue during Club Crawl©, but many of them were either so poorly printed as to obscure their images entirely, or had such poorly written messages that they undermined the campaign entirely.

Nationwide, Kony 2012 supporters took the most logical of actions: Defacing homes and vandalizing landmarks.

Again, great job. This is the way to prove that the generation born in the late '80s and early '90s isn't a bunch of narcissistic children, and that we do indeed hold the power to change the world through measured, organized action.

Sure, many of the above posts are facetious, but the fact that a movement that was sweeping the globe fell apart in a matter of months speaks to the power that this generation holds and squanders unthinkingly.

I think Kony 2012 and Cover the Night can be summed up in a paragraph from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's coverage: "A group of teenagers from Stanwood applied posters and stickers around the Pike Place Market. But some of their work was quickly undone by a security officer who followed them and pulled down the posters."

Sounds about right.

Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post found this completely depressing chart in the archives of Pew Research somewhere. I know it's a little too easy to chortle at the ignorance of the American public, but I'm almost surprised Judge Joe Brown and Judge Reinhold didn't make the chart at this point.

There were other contenders, but this guy is clearly living the Velveeta lifestyle.

Oh, Uncle Ted. We'd love to see you perform at the Pima County Fair on April 28th, but you might end up in some secret detention facility if you don't tone down the rhetoric (bold added for emphasis):

”We’ve got four Supreme Court justices who don’t believe in the Constitution. Does everybody here know that four of the Supreme Court justices not only determined you don’t have the right to keep and bear arms, four Supreme Court justices signed their name to a declaration that Americans have no fundamental right to self-defense? That sounds like a stoned hippie. That doesn’t sound like a Supreme Court anything.” The musician went on to say: ”If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year."

[WSJ]

Thank goodness. I was really concerned that a alt-rock musician that I hadn't thought about in a decade or so was jumping into a relationship with someone I've never heard of.

And apparently, it's tearing him up inside. From Arizona Republic columnist E.J. Montini's blog:

Arpaio said, “I've had presidential candidates visit me in my office. I've talked to every one of them. I don't see anybody talking about this. I don’t see any senators talking about it." . . . When the host asked Arpaio if Republicans were backing him, Arpaio said, “I haven’t heard from any, especially the congressional delegation from Arizona.”

Hmm. I can only wonder why no one is supporting you, Joe.

Seriously, give it up. Just because your "cold case posse" of retirees can use Adobe Illustrator doesn't mean they're forensic experts—they're just really good a touching up photos of their grandkids.

From Rivera's Facebook yesterday:

...according to my legion of critics, by putting responsibility on what kids wear instead of how people react to them I have obscured the main point that someone shot and killed an unarmed teenager, and I began today’s program with a sincere and heartfelt apology to anyone I may have offended by my crusade to warn minority families of the danger to their young sons inherent in gangsta style clothing; like hoodies.

Keep in mind that he's still not repentant in his belief that hoodies are "gangsta" clothes, or that he feels that Martin was asking for trouble in wearing a hooded sweatshirt while being a black male. But I think this is as good as it's going to get, folks.

[Earlier: Geraldo Rivera, Semi-Officially U of A's Most Embarrasing Alumnus?]

Surely the next step is to bring in the kid's pants and socks as accomplices, right?

From Rivera's Twitter:

followed by this gem:

Ignoring his felonious abuse of grammar, a part of me would rather believe that these comments are all part of a meticulously planned career arc that started immediately after the Capone vault stunt. I start to think that, at this point, he's a few short steps from finishing his transition out of legitimate journalism and into absurdist performance art. I realize that all he needs now is an Andy Kaufman-esque feud with Jerry "The King" Lawler, and he can call it a career.

Then he tweets "Its sad that I have to be the one reminding minority parents of the risk that comes with being a kid of color in America—channel the rage," and I realize that he's too much of a damned fool to be that clever.

But seriously, kudos to him for not only finding a way to make himself relevant, but for spinning the discussion away from race and violence and into cotton outerwear. It takes some real work to make your own son ashamed of you.

Apparently, Jessica Simpson's homage to Demi Moore on the cover of ELLE magazine was slightly too scandalous for the manager of the Safeway at Tanque Verde and Catalina Highway, so they put a poorly crafted cardboard blockade to deter young, easily impressionable eyes. Then, since everyone loves to kick a state while it's down, someone sent the above photo to female-centric snark blog Jezebel. Super.

We spoke with spokeswoman for Safeway who said that this particular store made the decision to cover the magazine after it received multiple complaints from mothers with young children. She also said that other Safeway locations in the area had not received any complaints. She said the company tries to be sensitive to the complaints of their customers but does not have an official corporate policy on blocking magazine covers. Instead, those decisions are left up to the discretion of store managers.