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I'll generally try anything, but I'm going to draw the line at drinking tea made from panda feces. Previously, that line was set at "The McRib", but this is definitely worse.

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Why can't we come up with the cash to fix the TCC? Because no event coordinator has the guts to book a day of entertainment as amazing as the Lincoln Women's Expo, featuring Leonardo DiCaprio impersonator Frank Roberts. Instead, we get the circus or professional wrestling, two events that would be far better with a little addition of Faux Leo.

If nothing else, you can say this guy died doing the stupid, life-risking thing that he loved:

A Sri Lankan man has died while trying to set a record for the longest time spent buried alive, police said Monday.

Police said Janaka Basnayake, 24, buried himself over the weekend with the help of family and friends in a trench sealed with wood and soil in the town of Kantale, about 137 miles (220 kilometers) north of Sri Lanka's capital, Colombo. A local newspaper reported that the trench was 10 feet (3 meters) deep.

Basnayake was buried at around 9:30 a.m. Saturday. Police said that when he was brought to the surface at 4 p.m., he was unconscious and was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead on arrival.

Dr. D.G. Costa of the Kantale hospital said a post-mortem could not determine the cause of death and further medical investigations are being conducted.

• Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

No closure date is yet set, but the plan to shutter the Cherrybell Postal Processing and Distribution Center is well underway. Our mail processing will move just up the road a bit to a Phoenix facility. We can wave goodbye to next-day first class delivery, for sure. We can also probably end up driving or even walking a piece of mail across town quicker than the mail service would be able to do it.

And we can kiss the Tucson postmark au revoir and have all our mail instead stamped with Phoenix. This may be the saddest development of all, since those not familiar with Arizona often have trouble spelling Tucson. The postmark at least ensured the spelling was reinforced every time we sent someone a cheery postcard or other piece of mail.

But it shall be no more.

Unknown woman in Idaho Falls, you might have one of the strangest, non-felonious definitions of "sexy" I'm aware of.

[@GarrettNBCNews]

I get a fair amount of criticism in the comment section for being critical of American Christianity. That's probably a little fair, although I would content, as a Christian, I have some right to be offended by the wild misuse of what I believe in. However, it would really help me out if culture warriors like the One Million Moms group (affiliated with the American Family Association) would stop embarking on stupid campaigns.

In a recent Archie comc book, a series I think most people have largely forgotten about, a character from Riverdale got married. What is upsetting the One Million Moms is that the character, Kevin Keller, is male and he married another man. Cue the outrage!

Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store. This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, which is becoming extremely common and unnecessary.

A few notes...one, as a parent of two, I spend a significant amount of time in Toys R Us stores and I have no idea where they keep the comics, so the odds of some sort of confrontation is somewhat slim. The odds of a kid being bombarded with a million messages to have more crap purchased for them to make them feel content for another hour, those odds are quite high, but I guess no one cares about that sort of thing.

Second, the battle over whether homosexual relationships actually exist is over. If you disapprove of such things, your children will be forced to accept the reality of same-sex marriage at some point. Two men might be holding hands in the very same Toys R Us! These things actually happen regardless of your religious-based horror! Hard to believe, but it's true.

There's certainly a space as a parent to be concerned about the world your children will grow up to live in, but instead of freaking out about a comic book cover that reflects an actual positive part of our world (people in love) and maybe start caring about whether there will actually be schools to attend, opportunity to be had, air to breathe, water to drink, whatever. I'm pro-people being happy and I'd like for my children to be the same.

The CEO of Archie Comics responded quite appropriately:

As I’ve said before, Riverdale is a safe, welcoming place that does not judge anyone. It’s an idealized version of America that will hopefully become reality someday. We’re sorry the American Family Association/OneMillionMoms.com feels so negatively about our product, but they have every right to their opinion, just like we have the right to stand by ours. Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people.

Riverdale sounds like a great place to live, but I suspect it's not the sort of place that the Million Moms can deal with.

I'm not feeling great about Arizona lawmaking so far this week, between Lori Klein and her attacks on public educators who might accidentally swear or teach something with a partisan slant and the Daniel Patterson story in general. However, even though the amendment was removed, I have to thank the Wyoming House of Representatives for letting me know that other states also manage to elect paranoid nutjobs. In this case, paranoid nutjobs that want to reserve the right to buy an aircraft carrier in case the world goes to hell in a handbasket:

On Friday, the Wyoming House of Representatives advanced a bill to set up a task force to prepare for the total economic and political collapse of the United States. Per the bill, the panel would investigate things like food storage options and metals-based currencies, to be implemented in the event of a major catastrophe.

Then it goes three steps further. An amendment by GOP state Rep. Kermit Brown*, calls on the task force to examine "Conditions under which the state of Wyoming should implement a draft, raise a standing army, marine corps, navy and air force and acquire strike aircraft and an aircraft carrier." As the bill's GOP sponsor, state Rep. David Miller, explained to the Casper Star-Tribune, "Things happen quickly sometimes."

Buying an aircraft carrier is, as a rule, a great idea, but there are a few hiccups, not the least of which is that Wyoming is currently landlocked.

I don't know if there's necessarily a way to measure happiness, but the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index makes some effort every year to do so. Big surprise, Hawaii is on top, scoring 70.2 out of 100. Slide down the chart and you get to Arizona, which comes in as the 26th happiest state this year, slightly happier than Texas (well, sure), but less happy than Maine. I can understand Colorado and Minnesota ranking high on the list, but North Dakota and Nebraska? Is there some sort of ignorant bliss in effect in these states that they've forgotten where they actually live? Madness.

Hawaii: 70.2
North Dakota: 70.0
Minnesota: 69.2
Utah: 69.0
Alaska: 69.0
Colorado: 68.4
Kansas: 68.4
Nebraska: 68.3
New Hampshire: 68.2
Montana: 68.0
South Dakota: 67.8
Vermont: 67.7
Maryland: 67.6
Virginia: 67.4
Iowa: 67.4
Massachusetts: 67.4
California: 67.3
Washington: 67.3
Connecticut: 67.2
Oregon: 67.1
Wyoming: 66.9
Wisconsin: 66.9
Idaho: 66.9
New Mexico: 66.8
Maine: 66.7
Arizona: 66.6
Texas: 66.4
Georgia: 66.3
New Jersey: 66.2
North Carolina: 66.1
Pennsylvania: 66.0
Illinois: 65.9
South Carolina: 65.7
New York: 65.7
Rhode Island: 65.6
Louisiana: 65.5
Michigan: 65.3
Oklahoma: 65.1
Indiana: 65.1
Nevada: 65.0
Tennessee: 65.0
Florida: 64.9
Missouri: 64.8
Arkansas: 64.7
Alabama: 64.6
Ohio: 64.5
Delaware: 64.2
Mississippi: 63.4
Kentucky: 63.3
West Virginia: 62.3

What's not to like? It's the demolition of a bridge. Explosives are involved. I'm going to keep a window on my browser open with this video ready to play and the next time I'm frustrated by the general irritations of my existence...BOOM! EXPLODING BRIDGE!

I might need a hobby.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski/Sticker by Emilyscookies00
• The evidence

Random pizza menus jammed in the doorjamb and satellite TV offers dangling from the doorknob are bad. But one Tucson solicitor sank to an even lower low by sticking a permanent sticker in the middle of an otherwise pristine front door.

To take matters down another notch, the solicitor was selling Girl Scout cookies. While the thought of Girl Scout cookies would normally leave a warm, cozy feeling in the belly — especially the thin mints — they now instead leave bile in the back of the throat.

Perhaps that’s how dad always felt when forced to coerce his coworkers into buying cookies just so little Emily could get a free subscription to Ranger Rick magazine. I never got the free subscription, by the way.

In any event, the bile rose and the tempers flared when my guy and I tried to pry the sticker from the iron security door of the condo he’s trying to rent. It would not budge.

Most would agree a scummy sticker stuck to the front of the door does not make a good first impression. Unless, of course, the potential tenant wanted to buy Girl Scout cookies.