I get what Pizza Hut is doing with this $10,010 proposal package (and I'm helping, I suppose, by writing about it), but what's frightening is that someone will probably actually take them up on the offer. So, if you're not terribly bright, don't understand women at all, and have a little over $10k to burn, email Pizza Hut now!

I promise that I didn't create this Tumblr collecting "not racist, just asking" references on Twitter to White History Month, but I appreciate that it exists.

I might just set up a Twitter feed that auto-responds to all these clowns that there isn't a White History Month because in most American schools, every month is focused on "white" history. It's like when my kids complain that there isn't a Children's Day to go with Mother's and Father's Days. I have to hold back from yelling that EVERY DAMN DAY IS KID'S DAY. Sigh.

Thanks to Hank Stephenson for witnessing this particular exchange on the Arizona House floor yesterday, as first, Rep. Richard Miranda stood up for some sort of state official holiday and committee celebrating Hispanic culture, and then Rep. Jack Harper says something sort of dumb about Cesar Chavez, then Rep. Ruben Gallego fires back, but then it gets really good when Rep. Cecil Ash hopes that white people will have a holiday when they become the minority. One might assume that the audience might be unwilling to applaud such a ridiculous and possibly bigoted idea, but nope, the applause ensues. Another great legislative session, everybody!

I don't quite get it, but I think he wants to let us know that he's the best. At Street Fighter, the SATs, target shooting, some other stuff...he's the best. Hard to argue with a song of this quality, that's for sure.

[Daily What]

The fabric of our society is crumbling as we watch, and no one seemed willing to step in and tackle the real problem we face as Americans, until Louisana's Caddo Parish District 3 Commissioner Michael Williams made a bold, possibly unpopular, move to preserve our nation's dignity:

Khiry Tisdem, of Shreveport, has no problem going out in his "Family Guy" Stewie pajama pants.

"I wear my (pajama) pants anywhere," Tisdem said. "I'm an American, and I can wear my clothes anywhere I want. I'm a grown man. I pay my own bills, so I can wear my clothes the way I want. I don't know why it's an issue."

Caddo Parish District 3 Commission Michael Williams said it was an incident at a local Walmart that offended him and some elderly customers that spurred him to push for an ordinance that would prohibit wearing pajama pants in public.

"I saw a group of young men wearing pajama pants and house shoes," he said. "At the part where there should have been underwear," his private parts were showing through the fabric.

It never turns out well and everyone involved just ends up feeling embarrassed.

Related: I helped DJ a dance at a Christian high school recently and when we played a heavily edited version of "Super Bass", it was one of the most floor-filling songs of the night. Maybe there are two kids in whatever youth group the above parody was commissioned for that think this is super clever, but most of the Christian teens I've met seem to be a lot savvier about pop culture than a song encouraging kids to stop at hand-holding gives them credit for.

This is absolutely my new favorite conspiracy. Hey, Arizona Republican legislators, is it time to amend the Arizona constitution to preclude visitors to space from running for president?

According to Basiago and Stillings, Obama isn’t just lying about his identity. He’s lying about his military service record, too. While his political opponents in 2008 attacked him for never serving, in truth, he was concealing his participation in a hidden CIA intergalactic program hosted at a California community college in 1980.

[...]

Between 1981 and 1983, Obama is supposed to have visited Mars twice, by way of a teleportation chamber called a “jump room.” Basiago, a fellow chrononaut, told the website Exopolitics that he saw Obama “walk back to the jump room from across the Martian terrain.” To acknowledge his comrade, Obama is said to have told Basiago, “We’re here” — apparently, “with some sense of fatalism.”

It is not known what exactly Obama did on Mars. (Socializing Martian health care, perhaps? Building a birth-certificate printing press?) His mission was a perilous one, according to Basiago and Stillings. The CIA wished to “establish a defense regime protecting the Earth from threats from space” as well as a legal claim to “territorial sovereignty,” making Obama something of a Martian conquistador....

“Simply put, your task is to be seen and not eaten,” an elder chrononaut, retired Army Maj. Ed Dames, is alleged to have told a young Obama.

God and Pat Robertson were chatting the other day about the fate of our country (as they do), and the omniscient creator of the universe and some old guy who used to own a cable network played a fun little guessing game about what would destroy America as we know it. Spoiler alert: it's the economy, and it's totally our own fault.

Of course, whatever those voices are that Pat Robertson talks to have been wildly wrong in the past (unless Jay Rockefeller was elected president in 1996 and I missed it) and for some reason, the Christian community hasn't dug a Robertson-sized hole in the ground and dropped rocks on his head as prescribed by the Old Testament yet. So there's that.

I'm not sure whether I want to believe this question captured in a Buzzfeed post about Rick Santorum fans at Iowa caucuses was sincere or not:

In Sioux City this question was asked: "We have so much foreign influence today. I'm looking at a Coke can with a polar bear on it. Where do we go from here?"

Is 2012 the year of the Great Kardashian Backlash? One can only hope, right?