I'm not entirely sure how this program works, but it would appear that for just $13,900 the Tucson Weekly can get the prized endorsement of Jaleel White, the guy who played Urkel, when he appears on a bunch of TV shows. 4.8 million people will hear the name of our paper coming straight from the mouth of the guy who made the phrase "Did I do that?" a national sensation! What a bargain!

LIVE FROM LOS ANGELES, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but many American’s procrastinate when it comes to holiday shopping, especially when budgets are tight. It’s a good thing too because our host, Jaleel White is one of America’s favorite TV Icons, will share with a national audience all of the fantastic gift ideas and deals available just before the busiest shopping day of the year.

Jaleel White is best known for his role as Steve Urkel on the ABC sitcom, Family Matters. White got his start on TV commercials at the age of three. He landed his first television role as the son of Flip Wilson and Gladys Knight on the CBS series Charlie and Company. Most recently, White starred in this summer’s hit children’s movie, “Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer.”

Partners include all holiday gifts and services

Book your spot now!

**ALSO ASK ABOUT OUR CYBER MONDAY AND ORGANIZATION TOURS**

PARTICIPANTS:

Lead Spot Taken by Video Game Company

Tour is capped at four products

PRICE:

$13,900 all-inclusive

TOUR DATE:

Monday, December 12, 2011

A-1 Broadcast Guarantee:

You are guaranteed a minimum of 20 TV interviews the day of the tour, plus an audience reach of 4.8 million before booking begins.

ALL TOURS INCLUDE AN INTERVIEW ON THE NATIONAL MORNING NEWS PROGRAMS THE DAILY BUZZ AND DAYTIME.

This opportunity won't last forever, so feel free to just send in a check to us.

[HT: Gawker]

YouTube personality Jackson Foote and her suburban pals cover the Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz classic "Get Low", possibly while under the influence of bad idea juice, if there is such a thing.

It's hard to believe that it was only 72 days ago that Kim Kardashian and some guy who plays basketball, I think, got married. Also, it's hard to believe that every time I flip through my online cable guide, it appears E! is running their wedding special, but it apparently wasn't meant to last, as Kim is going to file for divorce today, according to TMZ. In honor of their whirlwind, but short-lived, romance, we offer this montage of photos matched up with a Nick Lachey song that I found on YouTube. Don't be afraid to let the tears flow.

Wearing a t-shirt that reads, "Yes, this is my costume," or painting whiskers on your face and wearing ears to transform yourself into an adorable kitty cat will not win you Best Costume awards according to a new Cracked article.

Sorry, Dan Gibson...BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD FOR YOU.

Check out why being an unrecognizable movie character isn't as cool as you think it is, and why I need to re-think my husband's costume since I was going to tell him to wear his hoodie and say he's "Michael Cera in any movie he's ever been in."

Being tall, pale and lanky won't work this year as a costume, I guess.

Just for the record, if anyone stabs anything into my scrotum, I might not call the cops either, mostly because I would be immediately planning my Kill Bill style revenge:

In the month’s most wince-producing assault, a Kansas man was stabbed in the scrotum with a hypodermic needle, which broke off inside the 39-year-old victim’s body.

According to a Wichita Police Department report, the victim told cops that the stabbing occurred during an argument with the needle wielder. Cops believe that the attacker is a female acquaintance—or girlfriend—of the man with the punctured scrotum.

Investigators reported that the victim, who was not cooperative, was admitted to St. Francis Hospital for surgery. A CAT scan “showed part of needle broke off inside scrotum,” the report noted.

Police have made no arrests in connection with last Wednesday’s stabbing, which has been classified as aggravated assault, a felony.

[The Smoking Gun]

I'm sure that every kid that's given a copy of the New Testament instead of candy on October 31st is going to be totally psyched about attending your church.

Wait, this isn't Bizarro America where kids hate candy and love to be proselytized by total strangers and where black is white and people say "Goodbye" instead of "Hello!". It's actual America, where this idea completely defies logic entirely.

A note to Tucson churches: those "harvest festivals" churches often put on, with a few jumping castles, and other stuff kids like (including candy!) providing a safe environment for families...those are actually a decent idea, providing a non-threatening, useful service to your neighborhood. Trying to change the identity of an event people seem to like? Bad idea and really only useful in reminding me that I should listen to the band Ween more often.

This ad for online aggregator of stuff Buzzfeed appeared on the sidebar of the national site for food blog Eater. It linked to a story on Buzzfeed with photos of both Knox and Anthony, complete with an actual poll. If you want to see it, good luck finding it yourself, because I'm certainly not linking to it.

Way to keep it classy, Buzzfeed. WTG.

I don't see anything in this story about hair extensions for dogs with accompanying cowboy hats, but I have to imagine those will be available at some point:

"As a dedicated pet owner myself, this is a natural partnership for me, and I can't wait to unveil the collection,” the singer said. “I know my own pets rock, and I wanted to design a line of pet products every bit as fun and cool as they are."

He’s not the first celebrity to create a line of inspired pet-wear for the company: Martha Stewart launched her collection in 2010. We expect Michaels’ products will be a little, shall we say, louder than Stewart’s.

“Our pet parents have told us they want unique, high-quality products for their pets that are also fun and reflective of their personalities," says Matt McAdam, vice president of merchandising for PetSmart. "Adding the Bret Michaels Pets Rock collection to PetSmart stores enables us to continue to meet our pet parents' needs with a 'cool' line of products from an entertainer with a demonstrated passion for our four-legged family members."

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I think if I lost my job right now (please visit a few more pages on the site, people!), I'd rather just have a giant bag of rice instead of a card. Unless the card is edible and made of super-nutrients. That might be more helpful.

Seeing it from the side of the person giving the card, buying a piece of thin cardstock with words on it is easier than actually being a friend to someone, so there's that. Plus it's a reminder that the giver still has money to spend on stupid crap, which always feel good.

While some terrible parents do drugs in front of their kids, Nicole Cummings went next level:

A New York mom faces criminal charges for feeding her 14-month-old child cocaine-tainted breast milk.

Nicole Cummings used the illegal narcotic several times in May and June, state police said, at the same time her baby was breast-feeding.

The 25-year-old from Watertown, a city northeast of Syracuse, faces one count of reckless endangerment in the 2nd degree and one count of endangering the welfare of a child, police said.

Traces of cocaine were found in tests of the infant's blood, according to the Watertown Daily Times.