It's a good thing the Arizona House of Representatives solved all the state's problems (debt, immigration, etc.) so quickly. How else could they find time to send Obama back to Kenya innocently require all presidential candidates present a birth certificate if they want to appear on the Arizona ballot?

From the Associated Press:

The Arizona House on Wednesday approved a bill that would require President Barack Obama to show his birth certificate if he hopes to be on the state's ballot when he runs for re-election.

The House approved the measure on a 31-29 vote, sending it to the Senate.

It would require U.S. presidential candidates who want to appear on the ballot in Arizona to submit documents proving they meet the constitutional requirements to be president.

If you opened the morning daily's site this afternoon, your probably saw this as top story:

That's right, the most important thing going on today is the opening of Hot Tub Time Machine.

Here's the kicker: The review is credited to Roger Moore of The Orlando Sentinal. That's right kids, if you can write 400 words and live in Florida, you, too, can have the top-news slot in Tucson, Ariz.

Here's one more reason ASU stands for Arizona's Second University: It leaves out words on its promotional billboards.

From KOLD:

The billboards are part of a campaign proclaiming that Arizona State University is one of the world's top schools.

The only problem is that they left out a key part of the message. The sign reads "One of top 100 universities in the world." It is missing the word "the."

Here's more.

California State Sen. Roy Ashburn joined a long GOP tradition today of finally admitting he's gay to a Bakersfield radio host. I particularly enjoyed his excuse for his anti-gay voting record--his constituents. I can guarantee Ashburn that there are gay people in his district in Kern County, but I understand from a SF Weekly blog here that it's not the friendliest places--75 percent of the county voted in favor of Prop 8. No wonder he stayed in the closet.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Reporting from Sacramento - A Republican state senator from conservative Bakersfield said Monday that he is homosexual, days after a report that he had been at a gay nightclub in Sacramento before being arrested on drunk driving charges while behind the wheel of his state car last week.

Sen. Roy Ashburn returned to work after being on leave since his arrest early Wednesday not far from the Capitol. The incident had touched off speculation about Ashburn's sexual orientation because a Sacramento television station said it occurred after he left a gay club. And Ashburn drew fire from activists for voting against gay-rights legislation.

The senator, who avoided reporters in the Senate chamber Monday afternoon, broke his silence in an interview on Bakersfield radio station KERN-AM (1180) in the morning, saying the episode had led to "restless nights" and "soul searching."

Ashburn told radio host Inga Barks that he owed his constituents an explanation. She responded, "Do you want me to ask you ... the question, or do you want to just tell people?"

"I am gay," Ashburn answered. "Those are the words that have been so difficult for me for so long. But I am gay. But it is something that is personal and . . . I felt with my heart that being gay didn't affect — wouldn't affect — how I did my job.

Health reform prayer. Chant three times, daily:
Please Lord Vishnu, now more than ever, do what you need to make sure our government passes health reform.

From Rush Limbaugh yesterday:

I’ll just tell you this, if this passes and it’s five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica.

Read more here.

Some people call it advertising and others call it soft-core porn, either way American Apparel hasn't made best friends with feminists who've always questioned AA's owner Dov Charney's nasty, slimy approach to marketing his political feel-good T-shirts and such. Besides the ad images, Charney has been accused of sexual harassment by former employees. No shocker there.

Just to continue to prove how slimy he is, however, Charney's on a hunt for new models by asking women to put photos of their backends online to be scored and commented on - the Best Bottom in the World competition. Visit here, and remember: NOT FOR WORK. Actually, I think its fine to put up pictures of a bunch of different butts. But to be fair, the man needs to put up some men's butts, too.

Of course, there's a petition against it. If anything they should be fighting that in the end the winner only makes $300, which kind of smacks like sweatshop change.

Why not do something meaningful, like propose his fellow lawmakers give-up their salaries and health insurance during this economic meltdown and put it toward education? Oh yeah, that's right. They'd probably want to send it to school tuition organizations.

Maybe this is part of a full-employment plan for the police and courts, or perhaps maybe he’s just doing satire, like Jonathon Swift’s A Modest Proposal.

From Mr. Swift:

I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

"If you don't have enough money to buy your own food to exist for your own sustenance, and you need some other hardworking taxpayer that's out there and working and paying taxes to subsidize your food, then you shouldn't have the luxury, at the expense of some other taxpayer, to go out and enjoy the niceties in life."

Why in the hell is the top story on azstarnet.com, as of this writing, "Who serves the best cheesecake in town?"

I am out of town at this second at—of all things—a Web/media conference. Is it THAT slow of a news day back in Tucson?