For women, it’s more bankable to be alluring—whether that comes in the form of the confident straight shooter (Beyoncé), the girlie pinup (Katy Perry) or the coquettish ingenue (Taylor Swift)—or to reject outright such conventions and be a hell-hath-no-fury flamethrower (Fiona Apple).

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Robert Wallace of Houston, relationships can be challenging. I'm sure Nomi Mims, billed as a "dancer and comedian" of adult entertainment destination Treasures, was super-nice to you. I'm also sure it seemed like you two would last forever and why wouldn't it be a good idea to "loan" her money, a laptop, and your Harry Potter DVD set (of course)?

However, taking this disagreement to court THEN agreeing to go on television to discuss your "relationship"? Calling the people who book guests for episodes of Maury would have been a better and slightly more productive route, because at least you'd get a night in a New Jersey hotel room and a flight out of that, although you'd still be out the Harry Potter DVD set, I imagine.

It's sad that things didn't work out between you, average-ish white guy who likes to go to strip clubs, and tall, attractive "dancer and comedian" Nomi Mims, but I thank you both for creating a situation where the following line was uttered on a TV newscast:

“I’ve given him gifts too. You know, how do I get my booty and boobs back?”

In the spirit of voting for your favorite things on blogs, Outside's magazine is holding its annual Best Town contest. But the twist this year is that the 64 cities are going head-to-head. The process has already started and Anchorage, AK., is kicking our ass. Sure, they might be cooler than us temperature wise, but we have something they don't have. Culture.

I feel like we are Hogan and they are Zeus in this No-Holds-Bar match. Don't be afraid to cheat because anything goes. Be a real American, Brother.

Click here to vote.

Rohan Gupta recorded some high school students storm a football field after the girl's Vandegrift High School soccer team won their first state championship ever over the weekend. While the 15-year-old high school student was filming, Georgetown officer George Bermudez was caught tripping one male, missed a female on the field and shoved male off the field. The officer has been put on paid leave and internal affairs is reviewing the case, according to Statesman.

Agency spokesman Roland Waits told Statesman that "Bermudez’s actions were not appropriate measures for a crowd control situation."

A 3-year-old in Lincoln, Neb., wandered away from home and climbed into a claw machine in a nearby bowling alley. The child was found by an employee around the same time the mother called the police to report the child missing, according to WOWT NBC Omaha. Fortunately, the vendor was able to retrieve the unscathed modern day Dennis the Menace and reunite him with his mother.

The mother wasn't cited because she reacted accordingly.

The University of Kentucky Wildcats lost to University of Connecticut Huskies 54 - 60 during Monday night's national championship game at the AT&T Stadium in North Texas. The emotions were high and people get worked up; especially, Fox News. Fox & Friends morning host Heather Childers goofed and said, "The UConn Huskies are the 2014 NAACP national champions."

Childers smiled and stared blankly into thousands of homes and Dunkin Donut shops around the country long enough for everyone to realize that the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People might get offended.

Associated Press is reporting that a gunman opened fire at Fort Hood Wednesday afternoon. 14 people were injured and the shooter may have died from a self inflicted wound, according to AP. It's been five years since Army psychiatrist Nidal Hasan took 13 lives and injured 30 people at the Texas Army post, so this is probably not a good "selfie moment" if you're at Fort Hood right now.

I don't think this U.S. Army Soldier realized that San Antonio Express News would have a social media feed for the world to see when he took this selfie when the base was on lock down:

• From user's Instagram page.

We hope his superiors don't see this.

• Courtesy of Estately Blog.
• "The West Coast and the South will eventually agree on something—the delicious appeal of brains."

You would have a better chance at surviving a zombie apocalypse if you're reading this somewhere in Arizona. According to Estately Blog, Arizona ranks 7th state in the U.S. most (and least) likely to survive a zombie invasion. The study is based on 11 metrics that included obesity population, soldiers and veterans per capita, people with guns and paintball enthusiast.

Arizona is pretty zombie crazy:

Home to both the Department of Zombie Defense and the Arizona Zombie Defense Force. The state of Arizona trains for the zombie apocalypse with zombie walks, a Zombie Night at an Arizona Diamondbacks game, and much more.

Here's how we fare against the rest of the country:

• Photo courtesy of Estately Blog.

If our fictional inevitable doom were to ever happen, we hope the shit hits the fan in the middle of July. Zombies couldn't take a Tucson summer. I don't know how we do it sometimes.