My Facebook news feed has been full of links to various photos of muscled bound children beating each other up and crying. Apparently, parents all around the country are sending their kids to Mix Martial Arts training camps so they can be the next UFC sensation. You have check out Sebastian Montalvo's photos of 7 year old fighters in the octagon. I stumbled across this video of a Tucson kids camp at the APEX MMA training facility. The 20 second video highlights children attacking punching bags, heel toe dancing on medicine balls and doing push ups.

It's like Battle Royale training.

Austin Dawkins accidental sets his wife Jessica on fire while refueling at a gas station in Austin, TX on Oct. 17. Georgia Insurance and Fire Safety Commissioner Ralph Hudgens stated that the 30 year-old woman suffered second- and third-degree burns to her legs, arms, back and head.

Here's the security footage:

Most of you are looking back at your college years and thanking the technology gods that pagers were the extent of social media.

Approximately seven days ago a Facebook page called U OF A DABS started and has taken the campus like a Mt. Lemmon wildfire. The like page is currently sitting 2,685 likes and growing. According to our U of A interns "DABS" is term regularly used if someone is being a "drunk ass bitch." The 21 year-old told this to me while chuckling like it's common knowledge. I have never felt so proud of getting older in my life. The whole point of the page is to publicly dismay U of A (mostly under age) students when they are "blacked." I wonder how long it's going to take for this site for it to be pulled down after this post, or maybe society finally stopped caring about these cookie cutter sites.

I hate to encourage this but this might be a great opportunity for a caption contest:

I have no idea why anyone should vote for baggage handler Jeff Wagner (who you might remember from his previous lake-themed ad) in the forthcoming Minneapolis mayoral race based on the ad above, but hey, at least he's promising not to visit the city's strip clubs anymore, which is something I can't say any of our current city council candidates have offered to give up upon election/re-election.

From the video's info section:

Since i promised i won't go to strip clubs anymore! I've been well!...Never mind!...And 2nd promise...As Mayor will not yank the dolphin while doing the people's work...But once I'm off the clock and at my crib...All bets r off...I'm Jeff Wagner and I somewhat approve this message....

Strange people of Tucson, write yourself a note and remind us in two years to help you with your quixotic and pointless campaign for city council. We'd love to be of assistance, if only to jazz these boring affairs up a bit.

[HT: CityPages]

This is why we can't have nice things, Tucson.

Saturday night in Tucson, Arizona, during a TNA Impact Wrestling live event, an unruly fan actually tried to attack TNA star Frankie Kazarian as he and Christopher Daniels were leaving the ring.

Security ejected the disgruntled fan from the show after tossing his expensive brewski on "The Future," according to the wrestling news/rumor site. Business hasn't been good at TNA, but there are rumors that legendary color commentator Jim Ross might join the sinking ship just to get back at WWE for cutting him loose.

Hope "Good Ol" JR likes getting a nice cold glass of beer to the face because them TNA fans are a classy bunch.

As incredible as it is that First Lady Michelle Obama is behind the production of a hip-hop album (even if it is one designed to promote her campaign to fight childhood obesity), apparently some people find it even more incredible that Mrs. Obama is doing more than just standing behind her husband and waving—a job that, apparently, only a white woman can handle properly.

From TucsonWeekly.com commenter Dottie (emphasis ours):

HOW CAN ANYONE BE SURPRISED, ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS A MOTOWN CONTRACT, AND HIS LOSER WIFE RAPS, AMERICA IS GOING INTO THE TOILET. THERE'S A FIRST LADY FOR YOU, WHAT A PATHETIC COUPLE THERE IS NO HOPE FOR AMERICA, ALL IS LOST. IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNEW IT. WE NEED A WHITE FIRST LADY, ANYONE WILL DO, IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS, IMPEACH, EVICT, THERE MUST BE A SINKING SHIP WITH THEIR NAMES ON IT SOMEWHERE, WHAT A LAUGHING STOCK WE ARE. I REMEMBER WHEN AMERICA WAS GREAT, ALAS NOT NOW, RAP THIS

With Dottie's racist screed insightful comment in mind, we've decided to put together an unordered list of the white women who, presumably, could do a better job at being a wife, mother and national figure than Michelle Obama, according to our commenter's strict guidelines in mind:

- Ke$ha
- Amanda Bynes
- That woman who was sexting Anthony Weiner
- Jan Brewer
- Honey Boo Boo's mom
- Any and all of the white "Real Housewives"
- Pretty much anyone who has ever been on a reality show, for that matter (as long as they're white, of course, so basicially all of the contestants on The Bachelor)
- The Olsen twins, in a marriage that would simultaneously legalize polygamy throughout the nation because that's how his powers as President work, probably
- Courtney Love circa 1994
- Hillary Clinton
- Hilary Swank
- Any ladies featured in Swank Magazine ("ladies" being a loose descriptor)
- Flo, from the Progressive commercials
- Anna Nicole Smith, circa her TrimSpa days
- Nancy Grace

Obviously, this isn't a complete list of the women who could surely do a superior job of being the First Lady of the United States (again, according to Dottie's stringent requirements), but we're trying our best. If you have any suggestions that we will, at some point, forward on to our Commander-in-Chief — that is, if he's not too busy trying to get a guest spot on Charles Bradley's next album.

A hotel in China asked someone at ASU about some signage. The answer was, "Arizona St. University should suffice" pic.twitter.com/Ljmnuogs7H

— Tim Ring (@timring3TV) August 13, 2013

The learning institution generally known as Girls Gone Wild University Casino sent its basketball team to China to buy discount iPads or something, which led to this wacky mixup at a hotel there, as reported by Tim Ring of Phoenix's KTVK.

[HT: Deadspin]

In the continuing saga of the restaurant that apparently refuses to die, Amy's Baking Company is now selling shirts for your purchasing "pleasure"—and they're just as charming as Amy and Samy Bouzaglo are!

Apparently, someone over at ABC had the brilliant idea to take some of their famous sayings from their appearance on Kitchen Nightmares, trademark ’em, and then slap ’em onto clothing.

Also available are shirts with the slogans "I Speak Feline Meow!", "I Survived Amy's Baking Company" and (in an answer to commenter Burnie Mak's prayers) "I'm The Gangster!"

It's good to know that, in today's society, all it takes to achieve your 15 minutes of fame is to treat employees, customers and fellow members of your industry like complete and utter crap on television.

Still, congrats to Amy and Samy Bouzaglo for spinning something terrible into something marketable—now all you have to do is make sure you don't get deported, and you'll be on your way into becoming the most despised "power" couple in Arizona!

[h/t: Phoenix New Times]

Democrat Fred DuVal, who is seeking to become governor of Arizona next year, had a weird early skirmish with the Arizona Republican Party this week.

It all started with a relatively lame press release from AZ GOP Chairman Robert Graham, who said that he and a crew of fellow Republicans down at the office looked over DuVal’s résumé—which includes serving in Bruce Babbitt’s gubernatorial administration in the ’80s, Bill Clinton’s presidential administration in the ’90s and the Arizona Board of Regents in recent years—and concluded that DuVal would “be perceived by many as ‘the most uninteresting man in the world.’”

The DuVal campaign responded by sending out a fundraising pitch saying DuVal—recast as “the most electable man in Arizona”—was already under attack by the GOP. The campaign raised nearly $12,000 and a few days later, Team DuVal delivered a case of Dos Equis to GOP headquarters, along with a thank-you card that featured DuVal dressed up like the beer company’s signature spokesman, The Most Interesting Man in the World. The tagline on the card: “Stay Desperate, My Friends.”

That’s when things took a really weird turn, with the Arizona Republican Party posting a note on its Facebook page asserting that DuVal “photoshopped himself to appear Latino … (and) put the doctored image out on Twitter and hand-delivered a printed copy to the AZGOP. Painful attempts at humor, especially with racial overtones, usually backfire on candidates.”

The story was first run through the Arizona Daily Independent’s loony spin cycle, which produced the fairly radical interpretation that DuVal had “waded into the murky waters of racial politics.” "Popular radio show host and BBC commentator" James T. Harris also chimed in, somehow connecting the DuVal campaign's joke to the George Zimmerman trial.

It might be worth noting here that the person who plays "The Most Interesting Man in the World" isn't, in fact, Hispanic, but that sort of detail-oriented thinking might be too strenuous for either ADI or Harris.

Various national news outlets, including the Daily Caller, the Huffington Post and Fox New Latino, jumped on the bandwagon, not recognizing that the Arizona Daily Independent is essentially a poorly written collection of rehashed press releases and deranged efforts at revenge against anyone who has upset the shadowy cabal that runs the website.

DuVal campaign chairman and Phoenix City Councilman Daniel Valenzuela said the campaign had just put a beard on DuVal. He said he was offended by the accusation that DuVal was putting on a minstrel show in an attempt to appear more Latino.

“Talking about a character in a Dos Equis commercial is what the Republican Party started with,” Valenzuela said. “And so Fred did a great job of spinning that and it backfires on the Republican Party. And now he’s being called racist for that? It’s offensive that the Republican Party would make such an accusation.”

In the middle of a state legislature debate regarding local non-discrimination ordinances in Idaho, a Republican politician revealed that he has apparently never actually encountered a gay person in his life:

Cornel Rasor, a former Bonner County commissioner and chairman of the Idaho GOP’s resolutions committee, said, “I’d hire a gay guy if I thought he was a good worker. But if he comes into work in a tutu … he’s not producing what I want in my office.”

Before we get into the fact that Rasor seems to think that all homosexuals seem to have a predilection for dressing like ballerinas, let's note that politicians within a party that advocates for small, local government have a desire to kill ordinances that were passed by local governments:

“Resolved, that the Idaho Republican State Central Committee recommends that our legislators support Idaho’s current anti-discrimination laws and policies and enact a law that would make unenforceable any municipal ordinances that would seek to expand categories of prohibited discrimination beyond current state anti-discrimination laws and policies,” the resolution states.

The Idaho Human Rights Act now bans discrimination in housing, employment and public accommodations on the basis of race, religion, disability and more. But lawmakers have resisted efforts to add sexual orientation and gender identity to that law.

Sure, quash the ability for municipalities to create their own laws. Why not?

But let's go back to Cornel Rasor, who doesn't want his employees to come to work in a tutu — which, of course, is common thing for gay people to do. Why, I know that when I hang out with gay men, they often lament that their high heels and fairy wings (things that are issues to homosexuals at the time of their decision to be interested in members of the same sex) are just too damn inappropriate for the office.

In case Rasor is unaware, gay people tend to look like this, or this, rather than this.

Not every gay man is a drag queen, not every drag queen is a gay man, and the number of people who are going to work in tutus because they're attracted to people of the same sex is so insanely miniscule that you're as likely to find people who go to work in tutus regardless of their sexual orientation.