As medical marijuana laws roll across the nation in a huge wave of compassion and choice (there are more than a dozen states considering it), there always seems to be a corresponding wave of OMG THE TEENS!!! WHAT WILL WE DO ABOUT THE TEENS???? THEY'RE GOING TO SMOKE MORE POT!!! OMGOMGOMG THE TEENS!!! It verges on hysteria in some crowds, including a Tucson crowd I found myself in the midst of once.

Well, it turns out not all that many people have actually studied the effects of medical marijuana laws on teens. A couple of studies have shown that teens in MMJ states smoke more pot, but those studies didn't look at data before MMJ laws, ignoring the fact that in many of those states teens already smoked more before the MMJ laws. Now a team of researchers from Oregon State University, University of Montana and University of Colorado Denver have published an analysis looking at teen drug behavior in MMJ states before and after the laws passed.

Guess what? They found found no evidence teens smoke more pot after passage of MMJ laws. The difference MMJ laws make in teen drug behavior are "never statistically distinguishable from zero." That's Scientific for "teens don't smoke more weed just because MMJ laws pass." The proof this analysis is based on real science is clear from the fact that they used this formula:

Marijuana Useist = β0 + β1MMLst + X1istβ2 + X2stβ3 + vs + wt + Θs ∙ t + εist

Anyway, STFU naysayers. Read the analysis.

Then please run outside and yell, OMG OMG OMG THE TEENS!!! THEY AREN'T SMOKING MORE POT SINCE WE PASSED OUR MMJ LAW!!! OMG OMG THE TEENS ARE SAFE!!! IT"S OK!! CALM DOWN EVERYONE!!!

The state of Arizona has some pretty cool shit on their website, where medical marijuana is concerned. They do a pretty good job of updating it, so it's a pretty good place to go for MMJ info. To wit:

Dispensary Operator Application Reports—If you go here, you get the latest numbers on where (and how many) people are applying to open dispensaries. It's a list, so it's a bit cumbersome. As of Friday morning, 25 applications were in for Tucson area dispensaries, with Marana, part of the northwest side and the far west side unrepresented. At least three people applied in three different Community HealthAnalysis Areas—central, east and southwest. Today is the last day for potential dispensary operators to get their paperwork in for administrative checks and rechecks and official stamps and approvals. They could open soon after Aug. 7.

Map Your Dispensary Location—This server-based game allows you to click and type to find your dispensary location. Loads of fun, but the in-game graphics and cut scenes suck, um, mostly because it's not a real game. It's a Department of Health Services data map. But it's game-like. And fun.

Patient reports—And of course you can go here for the latest patient reports. This one tells you how many people in your neighborhood have applied for MMJ cards. Not literally. Its by CHAA.

The Rules - This link takes you to the rules and statutes covering the state MMJ program. It's very official, and I use it often as a highly trusted source for information (if you trust the government, of course).

So, now you know how to do my job. Good luck out there.

New Yorker Gustin Reichbach went through hell when his doctor diagnosed his Stage III pancreatic cancer three years ago.

Aggressive chemotherapy left him battered almost as badly as the cancer itself. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. He was in pain and nauseous. He lost weight. He tried various prescription drugs, but they left him with an even broader array of ailments - constipation, more appetite loss, dangerous glucose levels. Nothing worked as well as marijuana, so he drew the curtains on his well-appointed home and smoked. He was in the same shoes as any patient in a state that doesn't have MMJ on the books. Almost.

You see, Gustin Reichbach is a sitting New York Supreme Court justice. He recently outed his MMJ self in a New York Times guest editorial. He is risking a lot to tell his state government to pass an MMJ law this year, and he doesn't just limit himself to the medical reasons for supporting MMJ. He gives a legitimate legal reason. Go Gustin.

Given my position as a sitting judge still hearing cases, well-meaning friends question the wisdom of my coming out on this issue. But I recognize that fellow cancer sufferers may be unable, for a host of reasons, to give voice to our plight. It is another heartbreaking aporia in the world of cancer that the one drug that gives relief without deleterious side effects remains classified as a narcotic with no medicinal value.

Because criminalizing an effective medical technique affects the fair administration of justice, I feel obliged to speak out as both a judge and a cancer patient suffering with a fatal disease. I implore the governor and the Legislature of New York, always considered a leader among states, to join the forward and humane thinking of 16 other states and pass the medical marijuana bill this year. Medical science has not yet found a cure, but it is barbaric to deny us access to one substance that has proved to ameliorate our suffering.

Gustin Reichbach, New York Times editorial, May 16, 2012

It's fun when important people give a shit about MMJ. In fact, it's important when important people give a shit about it. When freaks or losers or weirdos give a shit about things, people whisper behind their hands. Check out that weirdo. He supports medical marijuana. But when judges do it, the New York Times listens. We can only hope people of Gustin's stature start marching out of the MMJ closet, first maybe one at a time, but eventually in twos and threes and then crowds. The last guy can slam the door when the closet is empty.

Gustin opened the door, guys.

Come on out.

A buddy of mine moved to Connecticut this past year, to a farm on some acreage with a pond and wild turkeys and amazing sunsets, with a couple weird, off-the-grid neighbors to keep things interesting.

He leads a pretty charmed life with a beautiful, successful woman just down the road from a golf course and a short train ride from NYC. His dog likes the wood burning stove. But when he moved to Connecticut, he felt a pang of regret over the loss of medical marijuana. Now the world is catching up with him—Connecticut is among more than a double fist full of states considering medical marijuana laws, despite a trend toward federal fucktards bringin' us down. A sampling:

Connecticut's law has been referred to the Committee on Judiciary. Call your legislator, ****. Tell him to vote yes ;)

Illinois lawmakers are considering a bill that would be among the most restrictive in the nation - no growing your own and only 59 dispensaries statewide (one per Senate district). The law would include PTSD as a qualifying ailment, but not chronic pain (a catch-all diagnosis that covers more than 22,000 of Arizona's 26,000 patients). The good news is that Republican leaders in the Illinois General Assembly are onboard. Promising. Hmmmm.

A couple months ago, I wrote about the then-new Green Halo Caregiver Collective, which is on the west frontage road along I-10 just south of Prince Road. At the time, the place had just opened, and it was lacking a bit in decor and goods.

I am happy to report that the place is going strong, very strong in fact. A couple return trips since my first visit reveal a very tight ship, indeed. The GHCC has a buzzer entry door that takes you into a reception area with MMJ literature and videos and comfy seating. The secure room for MMJ exchanges is behind a bank-like window that keeps the goods and staff safely behind another buzzer-triggered door. That's where the major improvements are.

The GHCC has a wide selection of MMJ strains on display in labeled sample jars. They have a magnifier connected to a laptop on the counter, if you want a closer look at the buds. I've been back a few times since my first visit, and each time they had 10+ strains, ranging from pure indica to sativa and many hybrids between the two. Perhaps the biggest improvement is edibles. When they opened, they had none. Now they have brownies (often more than one kind), chewy candies, tarts, hard candies and Tootsie rolls. They also now have seeds, kief, tintures and wax. The staff is very friendly, professional and knowledgeable.

One caveat - it's a little hard to get to right now, because Prince Road is closed. From eastbound I-10, take the Prince Road exit and look for the collective on the west side of I-10 just south of Prince. From westbound I-10, take the Ruthrauff Road exit, then cross under the interstate and head south on the west frontage road.

Ken Sobel, a UA grad and attorney who opened the collective, plans to convert the GHCC into a dispensary later this year, so I am hoping it will be around for a while.

Green Halo Caregiver Collective
3359 N. Freeway Road
(520) 561-6467

Medical marijuana patients will have a new place to get meds starting Monday.

The Green Halo Caregiver Collective is the brainchild of Ken Sobel, who has practiced law in Arizona and California since 1980. The collective will offer patients a variety of meds from a group of local patients and caregivers. The city approved the building at 3359 N. Freeway, which is near Prince and Interstate 10, for a dispensary. But until Sobel can open a dispensary — the state has said it will accept applications in April — he is opting to get patients connected with MMJ via each other.

For a one-time $20 membership fee, new patients can choose 2 grams of a variety of MMJ strains. After that, Green halo will take suggested donations for various strains.

Sobel is not a carpet-bagger, swooping in to try to soak cash out of Arizona's medical marijuana infancy. He has southern Arizona roots - he graduated from UA and was ASUA president when he was there, he owns property here and splits time between Californian and Tucson. His planned dispensaries and the collective are non-profit.

Mr. Smith approves.

Green Halo Caregiver Collective
3359 N. Freeway, near Prince and I-10
10 a.m.-noon; 2-6 p.m. on weekdays
10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturdays

Medical marijuana has a lot of enemies in Arizona — the close vote on the law's passage in 2010 and the ensuing legal battles are evidence enough of that — but a legislator from a suburban legislative district north of Phoenix might be emerging as a particularly wrongheaded foe.

State Rep. Amanda Reeve, who serves at the behest of the residents of heavily Republican LD 6 at the northern edge of Phoenix, recently introduced two bills that would restrict the use of MMJ.

House Bill 2349 was in the news quite a bit. It would forbid possession or use of medical marijuana on school campuses - including colleges. That bill passed the House Education Committee on Feb. 2.

The other bill got less attention, because it was wiped off the face of the Earth with a strike everything amendment, a tool by which legislators in Arizona change the contents of introduced bills, often to something entirely unrelated to the original bill. Reeve's HB 2350 would have made it illegal to charge medical marijuana patients a membership or service fee to be eligible for an MMJ transfer. It would have made health centers like Tumbleweeds in Tucson illegal. The strike everything amendment changed HB 2350 into a bill about public works project notifications. Bullet dodged, for now.

But I would urge Amanda to leave well enough alone. I know she has a lot of leadership awards and accolades and various types of recognition of excellence from her peers. Those are all listed on her website in a seeming bid for our respect. I'll respect that, Amanda, as soon as you respect your pledge on the same website to strive for "economic development and sustainability" and to "reduce burdensome government regulations." Stifling medical marijuana does neither. In fact, Reeves' proposals seem an awful lot like burdensome government regulation to me, and she is actively trying to stifle legitimate economic development that would be highly sustainable.

Call her office at (602) 926-3014 or email her at [email protected], and tell her what you think.

• J.M. Smith
• Harold Potts made this batch of hashish from a small pile of kief in 30 minutes.

If you've been smoking all the kief (powdery pollen and/or resin particles from marijuana plants) that collects in your MMJ grinder, stop right there. There's a better use for it. You can make hashish in less than half an hour from a turkey roasting bag, paper and cellophane tape. Yes, hashish. Here's how Tucson MMJ patient Harold Potts did it during a recent demonstration at Tumbleweeds Health Center:

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has seen the light and will halt the ludicrous legal fight to block medical marijuana dispensaries across the state.

In a statement issued Friday, the governor told God and everyone that she has ordered the processing of dispensary applications in Arizona, but not immediately.

"I have directed the Arizona Department of Health Services to begin accepting and processing dispensary applications, and issuing licenses for those facilities once a pending legal challenge to the department‟s medical marijuana rules is resolved," she said.

Brewer continues to complain in the announcement about the supposed prosecution threat to state employees, again asking the U.S. Attorney's Office for a clarification of the feds' position on workers who process applications and regulate the dispensaries. But in the end, she gave up.

"I believe the best course of action now is to complete the implementation of Proposition 203 in accordance with the law," she said.

Unless, of course, she decides not to. The statement ends with this threat:

"Know this: I won't hesitate to halt State involvement in the AMMA if I receive indication that state employees face prosecution due to their duties in administering this law."

A federal judge has thrown out Arizona Gov. Jan's lawsuit over the state's medical marijuana program.

Back in May, the governor, who had ordered the state Department of Health Services not to issue dispensary licenses as required by the state law passed by voters in 2010, asked the court to decide whether the state MMJ Act offers a safe harbor from prosecution under the federal Controlled Substances Act. Then a group of folks including the Arizona Association of Dispensary Professionals, the Arizona Medical Marijuana Association, the United States Department of Justice and the United States of America asked the judge to toss the lawsuit.

She did.

In the Jan. 4 rejection, Judge Susan Bolton says her court has no jurisdiction to decide the case and that the issues, as presented, aren't "appropriate for judicial review."

Now, you would think Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne, who incidentally until recently was responsible for the collective education of our state's children, would know what was appropriate for judicial review in federal court. I think he does know. I do not believe, contrary to appearances, that he is retarded. I think he is smart. Educated even. I believe the governor is likewise not retarded and similarly educated.

So rather than believe Tom Horne and Jan Brewer are retarded, I choose to believe they are devious, sinister political operatives who knew going in that their lawsuit was a crock of shit and that they had no real legal standing. They knew it had no precedent and that the federal government had never threatened prosecution of state employees working in the MMJ program.

So it seems likely that since they knew going in that the case had no standing, they will not change their stance now just because a judge confirmed what they already knew. Judge Bolton gave the great State of Arizona, Jan Brewer and the other plaintiffs 30 days to amend their complaint. Surely, they will.

Hurry up and wait.