California's four U.S attorneys this week told more than a dozen marijuana dispensaries to shut down or face the long arm of the (federal) law, the Associated Press reported on its website.

Federal law, it seems, "takes precedence over state law," according to the attorneys, and they intend to put their collective (presumably SWAT-assisted) boot heel all up in the shit of the dispensaries if they don't shut down. Ouch.

But before you get hasty and start the hate, you should know that California's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dispensaries (most of which remain unmolested) aren't even legal under state law. The California rules allow cooperatives and collectives, they do not cover dispensaries. The rules, in fact, warn dispensaries (many of which already existed when the law passed) that they are operating outside of the medical marijuana framework. So the dispensaries probably shouldn't replace the door frames after the feds kick them in - the state is right behind them.

All of which helps cement my view that we don't need any dispensaries at all (more on this later). They put owners at risk for federal prosecution, they smack of corporate influence and they're a hassle for patients.

Especially when the SWAT team crashes in.

If you're in the mood for a road-trip, you can get the answer to that and other questions about cannabis in the medical world at a University of Arizona College of Medicine presentation next month in Phoenix.

Sue Sisley, M.D., a clinical faculty member in internal medicine and psychiatry at St. Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center and an assistant professor of telemedicine at UA, will address the topic at 5:50 p.m., Oct. 11 at the Phoenix Theater,
100 E. McDowell Avenue.

To reserve a spot (they're limited), e-mail Brigitte Jordan at [email protected] or call (602) 827-2018.

Tucson’s East Side leads the metro area in medical marijuana patient applications, but if you’re looking for a caregiver, head to midtown.

The most recent Arizona Department of Health Services reefer report shows that the Tanque Verde analysis area, which stretches from Tucson's East Side down through Vail to the Cochise County line, has 186 patients. The northeast analysis area, which covers the near North Side and stretches to the northeast corner of Pima County, shows 165 patients, and the east central area has 131.

The central area alone, which covers midtown, has 14 caregivers, whereas the three aforementioned East Side areas have a combined 11. Under the law, each caregiver can give care (read “pot”) to five patients. Statewide there are 487 caregivers, which covers 2,435 people.

The other 8,698 patients are presumably among the 9,056 people who have requested to grow their own. The state approved 11,133 of 11,186 patients who had applied through Aug. 29. Seven applications have been denied, 42 are awaiting additional information and four are in review, the report shows.

The statistics are tracked by Community Health Analysis Areas, which are based on population and have long been used to track the state’s health numbers.

See the latest medical marijuana report online here - http://www.azdhs.gov/medicalmarijuana/documents/reports/110829_Patient-Application-Report.pdf.