Well, according to this post, Foria, a personal marijuana lubricant developed to enhance female pleasure, is only available to medical MJ folks in California.

So no alleged 15-minute climax for Arizonana, who frankly could probably use 'em.

But how, exactly does a "stoned vagina" feel?

From Foira's website blog:

I'm going to get to explaining how, exactly, a stoned vagina feels, but the thing that stood out to me the most during the first time I used Foria is that I just felt really relaxed down there. Like, tension free. Like my vagina was kicking back on the beach in Mexico, without a care in the world.

But her firing (her contract is up this fall) would not be a death knell for cannabis research—even hers. Sisley's study will likely live on, if not at UA then elsewhere through the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies.

MAPS is a California nonprofit organization at the forefront of marijuana research, or at least behind it pushing fervently. MAPS is the sponsoring organization behind Sisley's PTSD study. Despite her setback, cannabis research is on the rise, said Brad Burge, MAPS communications director.

“The problem is the word “marijuana” is so politically radioactive that I think that university administration are concerned about how they manage this plus the public relations nightmare of trying to persuade our lawmakers that this is not becoming any kind of drug den here.”

Linkin Park called the cops on us and said that they were allergic to pot. cops came and took all our weed while we on stage. Bitch shit

— Rome (@RomeMusica) May 25, 2014

Do you want to know why you're getting really high right now? So do we. Cheech and Chong have all the answers to all your questions, including the origin of 4/20.

It's far out, man.

• Photo courtesy of shutterstock.com
• Now you can tell your parent's "I told you so."

Here's some promising news for learning cannabis lovers. Scientists from the University of Toronto's Dalla Lana School of public health have reviewed reports from a study that involved 39,000 Ontario students from 1981 to 2011. The studies show that straight up pot smokers perform better in school than cigarette smokers and those who smoke both substances. Not only that, but less kids are smoking tobacco now than 30 years ago.

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health asked students in Grades 7, 9 and 11 about their tobacco and marijuana use, and their academic performance.

The study found that marijuana-only users did better at school than their counterparts who smoked only cigarettes or who smoked both cigarettes and marijuana. However, the findings reflect the fact that fewer students smoke tobacco today compared to 30 years ago, and those that do make up a very “marginalized, vulnerable” population, says lead study author Michael Chaiton, assistant professor in epidemiology and public health policy.

Logically, students that don't part take in the wacky tobaccy do better, according to Chaiton.

“Now there is a distinction between marijuana use and co-use with other substances, and it’s an indication of the changing social norms. So it’s not an absolute that they do better; it’s that social norms have changed and the population of people who use marijuana are more like the general population.”

Sometimes it's like everything from Cheech and Chong's Big Bambu album is coming true.

Read more:

• Mr. SMith
• Look for s steady stream of Mr. SMith memes on MassRoots.

There's a new app in town that aims to connect cannabis users - ostensibly medical - around the globe. MassRoots, which is available only as a phone and tablet app, lets you post status updates and photos to document your stoner life.

It's a fun, hashtag-driven app that helps you spread the love and post pictures of your awesome wake 'n bake sesh.

The world has been living vicariously through Colorado's cannabis users while they purchase retail marijuana during these exciting times. Colorado became first state in the nation to allow retail ganja sales. This must be what alcohol drinkers felt during the prohibition days.

Reddit user 007pizzaman posted some pictures of what came with his retail marijuana purchase.

The product came in a brown sack, small green plastic container zip tied closed and a helpful law card that outlines how to avoid getting slack from the police.

Good news to snowbirds who partake in medicinal reefer (because I get my weed lingo from the '50s) — Arizona's not going to take your stash away, so long as your credentials are legitimate.

I say this because the Arizona Supreme Court let stand a lower court ruling that forced the Yuma County sheriff to return confiscated marijuana from a California woman with an MMJ card.

From the Associated Press, via Phoenix's KSAZ:

The justices without comment on Monday declined to review a January ruling by the Court of Appeals.

The January ruling said medical marijuana seized from Valerie Okun must be returned to her.

It said that's because Arizona's medical marijuana law allows people with medical marijuana authorizations from other states to legally possess marijuana in Arizona.

Apparently the prosecution was arguing that federal drug law supersedes Arizona drug law — but they forgot that this is the state that apparently gives not one shit about federal laws that we don't like...right, Gov'nah Brewer?

• Haraz N. Ghanbari / Associated Press

Right.

If you're one of the folks who is behind our continued employment of medical marijuana guy J.M. Smith (i.e., you're not one of the folks Tom Danehy talks to on the regular), this should be relevant to your interests: a veterinarian thinks is OK for you to get your pet high — for medicinal purposes only, of course.

From the Associated Press, via azcentral.com:

Leading the charge is Los Angeles veterinarian Doug Kramer, 36, known as the “Vet Guru,” who felt it was his duty to speak out while he has no family that would feel a verbal or financial backlash.

“I grew tired of euthanizing pets when I wasn’t doing everything I could to make their lives better,” he said. “I felt like I was letting them down.”

Pot eased his Siberian husky’s pain during her final weeks, after she had surgery to remove tumors. Not only did Nikita stop whimpering while using cannabis, but she started eating, gaining weight and meeting him at the door again.

It gave him six extra weeks with his dog before he had to euthanize her, he says. It wasn’t a cure, but he thinks it freed her of pain and improved her last days.

Some other vets contacted said they share Kramer’s view on pot, but they wouldn’t talk on the record for fear of arrest or retaliation.

Huh. Well, that's well and good, but there's got to be a contrast, right? Help us out here, Colorado:

Vets who want traditional testing point to a study by two Colorado animal hospitals that compared the number of dogs treated for what appeared to be accidental marijuana overdoses between 2005 and 2010 with increases in the number of marijuana licenses issued. As registrations increased 146-fold, the number of sickened pets went up four-fold.

“Sometimes public sentiment and activity gets ahead of the scientific background and that can be dangerous,” said Barry Kellogg, senior veterinary adviser to the Humane Society of the United States.

While two dogs with pot in their system died in the Colorado survey, hallucinogenic reactions may make dogs wobbly on their legs, raise their pulse and cause dribbly urine, said Dr. Karl Jandrey, an emergency and critical care vet at the Veterinary Medical Teaching Hospital at the University of California, Davis.

Spectacular.

As the AP notes, one can get past severely f—king up their pet with weed by actually taking care to properly dose the critter, as with portioned out treats.

At the same time, doesn't it seem inherently selfish to try to extend the life of a living being who is suffering? I mean sure, give the dog all the THC drops in the world if you want, but it seems cruel to drag out the final days of a creature who won't necessarily be able to enjoy it as much as you may wish.

Enterprising imbibers of marijuana, we've got a new experiment for you: "Weed Sauce."

French fry chain Manneken Pis has developed a new dipping sauce for its customers, based around one of the most celebrated puff-puff-pastimes in the Netherlands, giving people the opportunity to dip their fries in something that's contains the "unmistakable taste of weed" in it, according to New York magazine's Grub Street blog.

Apparently though, the sauce doesn't actually contain THC, so you won't be getting high off of it — sorry, folks. It's as effective in getting you stoned as those super-cool hemp-based hand lotions that square high-schoolers buy when they're trying to be edgy without getting grounded for smoking the dope.

From Grub Street:

French fry chain Manneken Pis thinks the time is nigh — they were voted "beste friet van Nederland 2013," mind you — so tomorrow they will introduce Wietsaus, a mayonnaise-based French fry dipping sauce infused, apparently, with the convincingly strong taste of weed.

Albert van Beek, the French fry chainlet's owner, says he was inspired by the pervasive smell of weed smoke on the street (obviously) and was in turn blown away to find out that skunky dipping sauce was not yet a thing. He got right to work.

By my calendar, it's still April 16, meaning that cannabis culinary artists have four days to throw together their version of a weed sauce — get, uh...baking, I guess.