Available in packs of three for $12 and with one of the more amusing FAQ sections in recent memory, introducing Masque, "a paper-thin, gel strip that dissolves on your tongue and completely disguises the taste of semen during oral sex for up to fifteen amazing minutes":

How does it work?

Masque is partially comprised of flavor masking ingredients that work to block taste profiles associated with oral sex on men, and semen (salts, bitters, and proteins). These masking ingredients are all microencapsulated into an orally dissolvable, flavored strip.

Is Masque like other novelty products? (e.g. flavored lubricants and flavored condoms)

No, Masque is not another flavored novelty product. Masque has been designed by a team of scientists and researchers who have engineered a formula combining individual taste receptor blockers which are microencapsulated in a paper thin, dissolvable, oral gel strip.

Couldn’t I just use a mint or Altoid for a similar effect?

Masque doesn’t overwhelm the flavor or cover it in the way that a mint does. For up to fifteen minutes after the strip dissolves on your tongue, the salts, bitter and protein are completely masked to your taste receptors.

Is Masque just like a Listerine® strip?

Masque is a similar product to Listerine® strips in that they are both dissolvable oral strips. The similarities end there. Masque actively conceals all flavors associated with going down on your man.

[HT: The Frisky]

Compete with jovial instrumental music background. Sure, it's a parody, but it's certainly worth listening to these eleven minutes of delightful strangeness.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Was this guy in any home furnishing stores lately?

If you thought Tucson’s seemingly zillions of traffic cameras are an invasion of privacy, just wait until you hear about our Peeping Toms.

It’s been a busy year for Old Pueblo voyeurs, with peeping and privacy invasion crime statistics up from last year in a couple of categories. And with the arrest of one bold and brazen dude earlier this month who actually got down on his knees and looked up a woman’s dress in the middle of a home furnishing store, the trend doesn’t show signs of stopping anytime soon.

Ladies, it may be high time to invest in some granny panties.

A man was arrested as a suspect in the home furnishing store case after the woman notified police after the incident. But while it was going on, she had absolutely no clue, according to the Tucson Police Department press release.

The dude began following the woman around the HomeGoods store at 7170 East Broadway, the release notes, and when he noticed her attention captured by something in the shop, he made his move.

“The subject quickly knelt down on the floor behind the victim and while on his hands and knees peered up her dress. He was able to get back on his feet and walk away from her without the victim noticing his actions.”

I can say this with some degree of certitude: the only person who would ever say that you can just "work [a baby] in" to your life is someone who doesn't have a baby. Oh sure, let's just see what happens if we bring a living, disposable income annihilating, sleep-hating, disgusting-bodily-fluid generating creature into this world that will proceed to constantly affect our lives for eighteen years (and let's be honest with ourselves, far beyond that). What could possibly go wrong?

Veronica,* 28, was about three years into a serious relationship when she started getting less careful about taking the Pill. She didn’t necessarily want a baby, but she felt OK about rolling the pregnancy dice. “If it just ‘happened,’ it would have worked out,” she says. And even though she and her boyfriend recently broke up after five years together, Veronica still thinks if she had gotten pregnant, it would have been meant to be: “You can have a child when you’re not 100 percent sure of things. You just work it in.”

This laissez-faire attitude about the life-changing act of becoming a mother may seem shocking, but it’s far from unusual. Nearly 50 percent of American pregnancies are unplanned, and three quarters of those are in women 29 and younger. And get this: Research shows that women with a college degree are more likely to experience an unintended pregnancy than those who haven’t attended college.

I love my own children, I think there's probably a right time for babies, it's probably unfair to saddle women with the responsibility for birth control and I suppose this wouldn't help Glamour fill page space, but I think my version of this article would have read "OMG BABY TERRIBLE IDEA DON'T BE STUPID HOW HARD IS IT TO NOT BE RECKLESS AND DUMB OMG WTF OMG." Hipster nonchalance about procreation is not cool, people.

[The Hairpin]

Thank you Gawker for the story of a New Mexico State police officer who was fired after having sex with a woman on the hood of a car while still dressed in full uniform. The incriminating images were captured by a surveillance camera, but no charges were filed against the man because nobody was around to see it....at the time. Now the police officer has been fired, New Mexico is embarrassed and millions across the country are laughing. Next time, if you want to role play, I'd suggest doing it at home.

She was born in the Ukraine, she's getting her MBA at the University of Arizona, she's loves Starbucks and her two dogs, and her turn-ons include guys who wear earrings...meet Playboy's Miss August, Tucsonan Iryna Ivanova. While Ivanova wants to eventually get her PhD, joining the elite sorority of Playmates is her biggest accomplishment so far:

Being Miss August is something I’m very proud of. Honestly, I might be prouder of being a Playmate than any of my academic achievements. There are many great schools you can attend, but there’s only one Playboy.

In case you'd like to see a lot more of Ms. Ivanova, the August issue of Playboy is on sale now.

This seems bad. I don't know much about gonorrhea (thankfully), but the idea of any "super STD" immune to our antibiotics is probably an unwelcome development:

Scientists have discovered a new strain of gonorrhea-causing bacteria in Japan that is resistant to available treatments.

Since the 1940s, the sexually transmitted disease known as "the clap" has been easily treated with antibiotics. But the new strain of Neisseria gonorrhoeae has genetically mutated to evade cephalosporins — the only antibiotics still effective against the infection.

"This is both an alarming and a predictable discovery," lead researcher Magnus Unemo, professor at the Swedish Reference Laboratory for Pathogenic Neisseria in Örebro, Sweden, said in a statement. "Since antibiotics became the standard treatment for gonorrhea in the 1940s, this bacterium has shown a remarkable capacity to develop resistance mechanisms to all drugs introduced to control it."

Local comedienne J.L. Godwin promises "the worst relationship advice on the planet, guaranteed" on her blog.

Her blog persona, The Big Chicken, is a self-described "big human person" who has a dream to "roller skate all across the land and make a movie about my funny adventures."

The Big Chicken jokes about breasts, legs and thighs and likes to eat bugs. Check out the adventures here.

A story in today's Slate about Prince William's college and an ancestor who was a member of the BBWCC - Beggar's Benison and Wig Club College, is so much better than the typical royal wedding coverage about William, Kate, her dress and fra-la-la-la.

The BBWCC was an all-boys sex club that historians think no longer exists, but when it did, boy did those guys do some crazy stuff, well, OK, compared to today's sex clubs, it seems rather British, boring and fra-la-la-la:

To the hordes of journalists and tourists who have lately made the pilgrimage to the hallowed campus 55 miles north of Edinburgh, St. Andrews appears stately, dignified, and predictably dull, as manicured as the ancient Scottish golf courses that surround it. But hidden away in one of the more modern university buildings, near the police station, is a cache of erotic relics from Britain's longest-running and most perverse sex club, which boasted as a member none other than one of Prince William's royal ancestors.

Few visitors to the Museum of the University of St. Andrews know to inquire about the BBWCC, the "Beggar's Benison and Wig Club Collection," although it is notorious with curators and a small group of scholars. But if you make a formal application (and the serious academic purpose of your research is accepted), staff members will take you to a clinical room, don latex gloves, and slowly unpack several archival boxes of rare historical artifacts.

There are drinking glasses in the shape of giant phalluses. Lewd platters are engraved with surreal pornographic images, including erections shaped as lighthouses and roosters with human penis heads. One prize exhibit is a snuff box filled with female pubic hair that was plucked by one of William's most debauched and lecherous royal relatives, King George IV, the prince's fourth great-granduncle, who ruled from 1820 to 1830. And a timeworn case contains a ghoulish wooden mannequin's head whose peculiar erotic purpose can be traced back to another randy royal forebear, King Charles II. (The bloodline of the Merry Monarch, who ruled from 1660 to 1685,,runs to Prince William through his mother, Lady Diana, via several of Charles II's illegitimate sons.)