A very long time ago, a local tree fell in a local forest, and a handful of locals carved it into a canoe. They used this canoe to cross the previously uncrossed river, upon whose East Bank they lived.

When these East Bankers landed their canoe on the foreign West Bank, they found odd people who thought they were the locals. The West Bankers even proclaimed their localness by wearing black T-shirts with white letters spelling "Bungal Ocal" which, back then, meant "Buy Local."

One of the East Bank canoeists had brought some cash with him, so he purchased a shrunken head from the West Bank Souvenir Cave.

Attaching the West Bank shrunken head to the bow of their canoe, the East Bankers contemplated how

The Associated Press reports that the price of a pack of smokes is getting pretty steep in New Hampshire:

A New Hampshire man says he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars.

Josh Muszynski checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number — a stunning $23,148,855,308,184,500 (twenty-three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty-four thousand, five hundred dollars).