The Memphis Tigers won the collegiate hip hop dance championships (which I wasn't aware was a thing that could be won) and they're excited. Maybe a bit too excited.

Their winning routine, in case you were wondering what world class hip hop team dancing looks like:

[Quickish]

From The Week:

During a Colombian championship soccer match last weekend, Panamanian player Luís Moreno outraged fans and players alike when he brutally kicked the opposing team's mascot, an owl, that had mistakenly flown onto the field. Players immediately confronted Moreno, and fans soon began chanting "murderer!" The owl was taken to a veterinary clinic, and on Tuesday morning, it was reported to have died of a respiratory arrest. Colombian authorities were already planning to press charges against Moreno; according to a local radio station, he could face jail time.

The reaction: "I apologize to the fans, it wasn't my intention," said Moreno after the game, as quoted by Colombia Reports. "I did it to see if the owl could fly."

An honored guest is putting into town next week, but instead of tea and crumpets, we might need to break out the handkerchiefs and chastity belts.

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Consider yourself warned: Tiger's coming to town.

Tiger Woods is coming to Marana.

Woods’ website schedule says he’ll be attending the Accenture Match Play Championships at Marana’s Ritz-Carlton Golf Club. The tournament runs from Feb. 23 to 27.

Although his reputation nose-dived from a top-notch golfer to a first-class cheater, Woods still fuels the general public with much fascination, much in the same way we can’t stop staring at car wreck or a big, fat zit.

Expect traffic delays.

Even people who are not fans of golf have come to appreciate Woods for his public displays. Seeing him in action can provide hours of entertainment since we never know what he’ll come up with next.

One of his most recent antics was spitting on the 12th green during the final round of the Dubai Desert Classic, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Here’s where our handkerchiefs come into play.

The act of hurling a wad of spit onto a pristine green during a public tournament not only horrified at least one sportscaster, but also merited Woods a monetary fine. The European Tour slapped him with the fine for breaching the tour’s code of ethics.

As if Woods would know about ethics. His more notorious claim to fame, of course, is the 120 women with whom he allegedly cheated while married to Elin Nordegren.

A good thing: There will be a spring training game at Kino Veterans Memorial Stadium on March 7 to benefit the Christina-Taylor Green Memorial Fund.

Not so good: The game features the former tenants of that park, the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Chicago White Sox, a fact that many local baseball fans might be a little bitter about.

[Kino Sports Complex]

Slate has a nice tribute to Brazilian soccer player Ronaldo, whose strange career mixing brilliance and disappointment came to an end with his retirement today:

Ronaldo's 1996-97 season with Barcelona was the sort of event in sports that you simply can't count on witnessing. Rather than lamenting that it didn't happen again, we should be marveling that it happened in the first place. Is it worth pointing out, too, that Ronaldo's so-called decline wasn't exactly the stuff of horror? He won a World Cup in 2002, scoring eight goals along the way; won two La Liga titles with Real Madrid; netted hundreds of goals; successfully retooled his game after twice rupturing a tendon in his knee; picked up two more FIFA World Player of the Year awards; and, after moving back to Brazil in the twilight of his career, won two trophies with Corinthians in 2009. I wish more athletes were such comprehensive failures.

Ronaldo was one of the reasons I started watching soccer in the first place, mostly because when he was playing well (and even when he wasn't), it was likely that something amazing could happen at any moment. Then again, with his personal life, the same possibility was still there, from the possibility that he was poisoned before the 1998 World Cup final to a scandal where he picked up a group of transsexual prostitutes, then ended up fighting with them. We all have our bad days, I guess.

Even if he live up to whatever absurd "best ever" expectations that were set for him by an overenthusiastic soccer press, he still was responsible for hundreds of amazing moments on the pitch. Thanks, Ronaldo.