Apparently the leaders of those cheese-eating surrender monkeys over on the other side of the Atlantic have had trouble taking criticism in the past, and at some point in their history made it an offense to insult them.

Well, no more! From the Daily Mail:

In the interests of free speech, MPs revoked legislation dating back to 1881 when anything judged to have ‘offended the head of state’ risked an automatic fine.

The change followed the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) ruling in March that France violated a demonstrator’s right to freedom of expression when he referred to Nicolas Sarkozy as a ‘jerk’.

Mr Sarkozy, the notoriously aggressive 5ft 5ins conservative, became the butt of numerous jokes during his five years in office, which ended last year.

But when a demonstrator held up a placard reading ‘Get Lost Jerk’ at a Sarkozy meeting in western France in 2008, he received a criminal conviction and a fine of around 25 pounds.

This was despite exactly the same expression being used by Sarkozy himself months earlier while he was attending an agricultural show in Paris.

Last year ECHR deemed the punishment handed down to Sarkozy’s tormentor as being disproportionate and a violation of freedom of expression, as the act was a ‘satirical remark.’

The ECHR acknowledged that the insult constituted ‘criticism of a political nature’ for which ‘freedom of expression was of the highest importance.’

Way to grow a sense of humor and a backbone, French politicians.

I mean, I still hold firm that the best thing about France is that it was the setting for that cute Pixar film with the rat cooking, but this is a marked improvement.

In what appears to be a recurring series of reposting weird want-ads from Craigslist, we've got the latest interesting idea from a few gentlemen (we assume) who want to pay a young lady to be a nude mermaid.


Now, nothing against their atrocious spelling (although they misspelled "valley" for God's sake), but it seems like it takes a hell of an interesting personality set to think "y'know, there's got to be some woman out there willing to be paid to jump into a pool naked in front of a group of guys."

My thinking, of course:

1.) Is this a front for a calendar shoot? A porn shoot? Something potentially worse?
2.) How many times must one jump into this pool? Once? Twice? I'd say it probably wouldn't be worth it to drive to Oro Valley from UA just for a nude cannonball, even if it is for pay.
3.) Is pay commensurate with how naked one must get? And on that note, what if a lady is more physically gifted up top, and doesn't wish to get bottomless? Is there a cup size kicker?

Really, I could go on all day. But if you or anyone you know takes (or took, considering this was posted yesterday), would you mind dropping us a line to hear about your experience? There's something fascinatingly weird (or weirdly fascinating) about this whole situation.

Well. This is weird.

I mean, my first response is a loud and confused "what the actual f—k??"



But let's back up: There's sure to be a reason behind this, right? Look at the username: it's an obvious Game of Thrones reference.



But at the same time, why would someone post this to such a public forum, particularly when making an effort to be, uh...discreet?



Honestly, I'm just so confused, and vaguely uncomfortable.



Either way, apparently someone has a job opening available.



(Note: It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to turn this guy in if he contacts you. Just saying.)

Update: A response from Reddit user _TYRION_KILLS_TYWIN_: "It's a joke."

The Arizona Diamondbacks, the one "Arizona" pro team that appears to be doing it right, according to our sports columnist, unveiled a new mascot yesterday in time for the post-All-Star-Game home stand: a luchador.

Why yes, that is a masked Mexican wrestler. According to the release the D-Backs sent along with this photo, he's apparently directly related to the original D-Backs lucha libre mask promotion from last year (which I don't have around me, unfortunately):

The Arizona Diamondbacks (@Dbacks) have introduced the D-backs Luchador as an official mascot of the team. The popularity of last year’s Lucha Libre mask, which was later followed by a Lucha Libre match, inspired the creation of the Luchador character and this year the mascot features a new look. In addition, the D-backs will give away 20,000 Luchador masks, courtesy of Circle K and Univision Arizona, as fans enter Chase Field next Saturday, July 27.

The D-backs Luchador speaks both fluent Spanish and English and represents a character that you would find at a Lucha Libre match.

Now, that's some stilted PR writing ("represents a character you would find at a match?" C'mon guys, way to suspend belief. El Santo was a national hero that was buried in his mask, for God's sake) for what seems to be an otherwise cool mascot — and even cooler, the guy apparently wrestles for a lucha libre promotion out of Glendale, so he's not just some cut Hispanic dude who they paid to wear tights, he's the real deal.

My hope? He hurricanranas D-Baxter the Bobcat out of the damn stadium and becomes the official, full-time D-Backs mascot.

Sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself.

It's a sometimes-difficult prospect in this world, filled with foolish folks, such as the James T. Harrises and the Amy's Baking Companies and the rogue commenters seeking to put themselves over everyone else. It's easy to get defensive when someone pokes fun at you.

But there's just something hilarious about having that fun poked at you with a drawing of a penis. (...That's what she said?)

Thus, I present to you Drawing Dicks on the Tucson Weekly, a Facebook group devoted to taking our fair newspaper and slapping phalluses all over it:

Kanye West, recent father of North West (birthed by Kim Kardashian, who was undoubtedly chosen as the vessel for Kanye's child because of dat ass, or something) and musician responsible for loosing Yeezus onto the world (his other, more emotionally dark, child — though this one was birthed from his mind, not a reality show star) has decided to change our world yet again — through fashion.

Yeah, that's a $120 T-shirt from a French fashion company, A.P.C., that admittedly has some fairly high prices — I mean, it's not like they're JCPenney — and is in collaboration with Mr. West.

And there's...just, nothing to it. It's $120 for a navy blue shirt, made with Egyptian cotton. Hell, I can buy an entire sheet set for that much, and that'll be Egyptian cotton too — and it'll probably come in more damn colors.

Ah well. Kanye's gotta get the money for his baby's limited edition toddler-sized Nike Air Yeezy shoes somewhere, right? It's not like Yeezus topped the charts in its first week or anything, with a single whose leaked video features a nude, CGI Kanye, right?

Though, considering that its sales dropped (hard) the next few weeks, it might not be a terrible idea for him to continue the fashion thing as a fallback.

That smoke you saw early this morning on your commute along Interstate 10 to work? That was a generation's worth of plans and hard work wafting into the Tucson sky.

Fire gutted an 8,000-square foot custom home on West Green Street, northwest of I-10 and 22nd, on Monday morning, turning black the clock on a construction project that has been ongoing since 1995.

The love child of local small business owner Jose Herrera, the three-story 'Green House' as it came to be known caught fire just after 6 a.m. When firefighters arrived not long after, the flames were so bad the approach quickly became a defensive one that was meant mostly to stop the fire from spreading to other properties.

The Green House, which could easily be seen rising up from above its one-story neighbors in Barrio Kroeger as you drove along I-10, was finally starting to show some progress in the last few months after years of almost laying dormant as Herrera struggled to finance and get proper permits for the project.

Tucson Fire has not determined the cause of the fire, which caused no injuries to either area residents or the 23 firefighters from 10 units that were called out to battle the blaze.

I had a chance to speak with Herrera about four years ago when working on a story about his dream home for another (ahem) publication, and despite all of the hurdles he'd faced to build the structure he still seemed optimistic. Who knows if that'll be the case now.

Things I've learned today: Andrew W.K. and Marky Ramone are still relevant in Russia; Russian music videos appear to be roughly a decade or two behind American music videos (Skateboards! Awkward hipsters! Someone that reminds me of Queensryche!); and apparently, Maxim Russia thrives on awkward interactions.

You can see all this for yourselves below, as two generations of rockers (and one sincere favorite of Weekly boss Dan Gibson) interact in a Russian bar, watching videos and hangin' out. It's like a more objective, intelligent version of Beavis and Butthead watching music videos on the couch, with fewer dick jokes.

[h/t: Dangerous Minds]

Fiesta Equestria, the...uh..."premier" convention for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fans (hereafter referred to as "bronies" regardless of their sex, because "reasons"), took place in Houston a few weeks ago...and...well. This is what happened.

Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of this. People are having fun, and loving what they're doing. But there's something amazing and slightly off-putting about watching hardcore fans of an animated series wearing furry costumes and rocking the f—k out to EDM, I'll give them that much.

But if you can find me a better few seconds of video than the bronie (brony?) who looks like a painter wearing a platinum blonde mullet wig tripping, falling and completely disappearing, I'll buy you a beer.

Strongmen of Tucson, we all know it can be hard out there for large, powerfully-built individuals to find work that involves picking heavy things up and putting them down.

But we've got a solution for you, friends -- and as always, Craigslist has saved the day, giving you the opportunity to toss a grown man around like a rag doll and get paid for it:

Are you Big, tall and incredibly powerfully strong? 500 cash for one day spent with me(or 100 cash and hour)

You must be 6ft2 or taller(the taller the better)

250lbs or heavier(not looking for perfection, just a powerfully solid strong individual)

Are you an open minded cool man? If so, this could be for you

I pay unusually powerfully strong men to lift and carry me in various ways

I'm 5ft8 205lbs of solid muscle, former powerlifter, mature man 51 yrs, well off and I PAY for Physical strength.

There would be nothing illegal, unethical, or sexual going on whatsoever

I simply love feeling muscled/physical strength lift and carry me in various ways.

The taller and bigger you are, the more interested Ill be in paying you.

If your a weightlifter, powerlifter, worlds strongest man type, or just plain ole naturally strong as an ox, please reply.

I've been doing this for years and have many men that I pay to do this for me...and all are Straight guys....once you meet me in person, you will have no doubt that this is sincere.

I know this is odd, but it's an EASY way for a strong man to make xtra cash

send a pic of yourself, include your height weight, a short description of your Physical strength ability. Include your email address and contact number, best time to reach you.

I'll pay bonus cash besides the 500 depending on how strong you are..Ill go more into detail about that once we talk.

This is not a job, just a way to make xtra big time cash for being strong

Could lead to steady big time paying cash work for the right individual

You will not be considered without the info I asked for or a current pic of yourself only.

Listen, you're into what you're into, and God bless this man for figuring out what he loves in life.

As far as I can tell, the position is still open on Facebook, so drop him a line -- so long as you promise not to drop him, I guess.

[h/t: Reddit Tucson]