If you're single bald or balding Boomer, Tucson is on the top 10 hotspot list, according to a press release from a dating site for 50+ singles. So no need to be reaching for the Rogain:

Today, OurTime.com, the largest online dating community for 50+ singles with over 2.5 million members, released its 2012 ranking of the Top 10 Hotspots for Bald, Single Boomers to find love. To calculate the ranking, the dating site specifically examined the U.S. cities where its bald members were getting flirted with and messaged the most.

Research has shown that by age 50, more than half of all men are affected by baldness. While a receding hairline can leave many men in despair, 50+ studs like Sean Connery and Bruce Willis have proven that bald is beautiful, if not straight sexy—a sentiment Fort Lauderdale and Tucson singles have clearly echoed. The ranking shows that single ladies in certain major cities don’t care about hair, a finding that many men will welcome… especially those looking to show off their “smooth” moves.

Top 10 Hotspots for Bald, Single Boomers:

People, people. I'm not entirely sure what "brown sauce" is, but if your girlfriend is reading Fifty Shades of Grey, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be squirting it at her.

"He said he had every intention of squirting sauce over Miss McCormick, but he now regrets having done this, realising how stupid it sounds.

"He didn't realise that the sauce incident would be classed as an assault. He is sorry for his actions."

"He lost his temper and went round to her home armed with a bottle of brown sauce, which he should never have done.

"Emma says it stung her eyes and it was all over the walls, which she had to clean up afterwards. I've spoken to Raymond and he's extremely sorry about it.

"He was angry that she suggested he slapped her because he hadn't. But they are now friends and they have been in touch with each other."

You go long enough without finding a job in this economy, sometimes that means you've gotta mix things up a bit to get noticed.

But bringing Nicolas Cage into the mix?

Well, that's what a Canadian woman named Vanessa Hojda recently did when she inquired about an administrative assistant opening in New York. While her message said she was attaching her cover letter and resume, what she actually sent over was this.

If she gets the job, I am going to seriously consider attaching pics of Nick Nolte's mug shot or maybe Michelle Bachmann, depending on the position.

It's one thing to get something for free because of what you're wearing — I still fondly recall the time that my I Love Hot Moms shirt got me free double meat in my Subway cold cut combo footlong because the sandwich artist told me that 'us moms appreciate that' — but I think I might draw the line at dressing up a certain way solely to get grub at no charge.

For those who disagree, I give you Carl's Jr.

The fast food franchise is giving away a free Amazing Grilled Cheese Burger on July 4 to anyone who is willing to dress up as Spider-Man.

They've even gone so far as to employ Spider-Man creator (and compulsive super hero movie cameo appearance maker) Stan Lee to provide some dos and don'ts regarding one's attire. For instance: no masks, unless you're also planning to rob the place after you get your free burger, and expect to pay if you come as anyone other than Spidey. I wonder if that applies to Venom.

Of the varying degrees of a student’s dedication to their education, none compare to 71-year-old Michael Nicholson, who’s dedicated over 50 years to furthering his education and thus receiving 29 degrees.

And no, that is not a typo. This Michigan resident is one degree short of 30. What a feat right? The article, which is linked at the bottom, astonished me. I’ve always joked that if I could, I’d stay in school forever and get all the degrees I could until the day I died. Well, Nicholson is doing just that and I can’t help but commend the guy for such an accomplishment and for putting into reality what I’ve said in jest about my own education.

And he’s not done either; Nicholson’s goal is to make it to 33 maybe 34 degrees before he calls it a day. He’s also inspired his wife to continue her education, and now she has seven degrees under her belt. I bet their pillow talk is pretty interesting.

So I got on my computer this morning, another casual Wednesday perusing the Internet and usual news websites I check on the daily, in addition to checking my Facebook for the first time today [but not the last], I came across something interesting.

Several of my friend’s statuses said something along the lines of “Why is everyone in such a rush to get married?” and then I realized whom they were talking about.

Miley Cyrus is now engaged to Hunger Games star, Liam Hemsworth. The couple has been dating for three years after they met on the set of “The Last Song” in 2009 when she was 16 and he was 19.

Now, marriage is great and all but I really can’t get past the fact that Cyrus is only 19 and Hemsworth is 22.

Maybe this is just me but I don’t understand why this happy couple had to rush into marriage so quickly. I mean, Cyrus is not even able to drink legally yet.

How many star relationships have you seen where couples get married early on and then you hear about the awful split several months later? Don’t get me wrong I hope this marriage turns out well, but I am just saying…

We seem to be on the verge of a cannibalism epidemic here, people.

It started in Florida, with the widely reported story of one man, suspected to be high on bath salts, eating the face of another man.

Yesterday, a man in Maryland was arrested for killing and eating parts of a man "who lived in the same home."

During their search, police reportedly retrieved the head and hands. When they interviewed the suspect, he told them he cut up the victim with a knife and cannibalized the heart and portions of the brain, reports CBS Baltimore.

Thankfully(?), the cannibalism madness isn't contained to just the U.S.

In story published yesterday in Sweden, a man was arrested for cutting off his wife's lips and eating them.

According to Aftonbladet, the researcher has admitted to cutting off his wife's lips in retaliation for a supposed love affair.

"It was honour related. He doesn't seem to regret a thing; he believes she insulted him," a source with knowledge of the matter told the paper.

Eugh. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go start consuming the most bitter foods I can on the off-chance someone tries to consume my flesh — if they're going to eat me, they're not going to enjoy it, dammit.

[cbsnews.com]

[The Local]

Graduating on time—meaning, in four years—and graduating early are two goals that many college students hope to achieve. But there are some people around the world who do even better than that, and it makes me sick.

As the school year came to a close, I celebrated with my friends who graduated at UA this year, getting excited for what was in store when my turn came along. A few friends of mine from high school who collected several Advanced Placement exam credits amazed us by graduating an entire year early.

Now, I have to admit, I do get to graduate early as well, albeit only a semester, but these days there are so many people who spend their college days wishing they could graduate early. Even on time would be a godsend, as they face their super senior status coming up in the fall.

But when I watch on the news that a 10 year-old little girl from Mexico is in college, all I want to do is slit my wrists with disappointment because graduating a semester or even a year early is nothing compared to this little girl who probably hasn’t even had her first period yet.

And to make it worse, this little girl, Dafne Almazán Anaya, has two older siblings who are also super geniuses. Her older brother graduated college at 16 and her older sister is 14 and in college with her. What I want to know is what their parents are feeding them and where can I get some?

Seriously, I thought these types of people only existed in shows like the oh-so-wonderful Smart Guy on the Disney Channel. Except in that show, it was at least more realistic since T.J. Henderson, the 10 year-old genius, was in high school and his older brother Marcus was a normal guy trying to survive high school.

Take a look. The video is in Spanish, but there is an English summary following the video.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/23/dafne-almazn-anaya-10-year-old-goes-to-college_n_1536542.html?ref=education&ir=Education

I applaud the person who was high or drunk enough Friday at 10:10 am to believe that a stream of comments themed around our articles and self pleasure (including the one above, left on one of the Lindy's/Redline posts) was a good idea, but I'm sorry this will likely be the only lasting monument to your effort.

According to anti-virus vendor Symantec, web users are more likely to have their computers attacked with malicious code while surfing religious sites than porn sites.

From Phys.org:

Websites with religious or ideological themes were found to have triple the average number of "threats" that those featuring adult content, according to Symantec.

"We hypothesize that this is because pornographic website owners already make money from the Internet and, as a result, have a vested interest in keeping their sites malware-free; it's not good for repeat business," (Symantec said.)

So there you have it. Wrap up your firewall before you worship on the web, or your computer might experience the technological equivalent of a burning bush.

[Religion Riskier Than Porn For Online Viruses: Study]