Update with download and playlist at bottom of post

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Hold the sugar, please.

He traded his perfectly healthy kidney for the sum of about $3,300.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, June 8 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

This week’s lineup of songs kicks off our series on the elements, starting with tunes that burn up mentioning fire, flames and scorching things.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

• Illustration Ryn Gargulinski
• No dolphin image means catfish will have to do.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, June 1 (today!), and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

Sexy songs are on this week’s lineup, so be ready for some sultry — and pretty cheesy — tunes.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

A cautionary tale: one moment of fury-based parenting and then you have an adult daughter with house full of too many dolls to count.

"My sister's doll had blonde hair and mine was a brunette, and I wanted the blonde-haired doll, so we were fighting in the back of the taxi. When we got out of the cab, my mother took both dolls, broke their heads off, threw them out, and said, 'You will never have dolls again.'"

[The Hairpin]

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Plaster kids' heads are OK on eBay, but not a real, live child.

She was busted when one man bid on the child, thinking it was a joke, and the woman actually accepted the bid.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, May 25 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

Gems and jewelry songs are once again sparkling on our lineup and we have plenty of dazzling tunes to play.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

• Jim Nintzel
• We wanted to believe: Hector Acuña and Tim Archibald on the hunt for evidence.

I teamed up with photographers Hector Acuña and Tim Archibald to spend some time with the UFO community back in the mid-’90s, including a fact-finding mission to Roswell for the first big celebration of the anniversary of the ’47 saucer crash. I had a lot of fun, but I gotta say that I walked away more skeptical than I started out.

There's a new theory about what happened at Roswell when the reports about the flying disc hit the local paper:

A new book on that mysterious government site in the Nevada desert called Area 51 claims there was no alien spacecraft that crashed in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 but there was a crash of a disc like object there, there were strange looking bodies and the government did cover it up.

Oh. And former Russian dictator Joseph Stalin maybe had a hand in it.

According to Annie Jacobsen, the reporter and contributing editor to the Los Angeles Times on national security matters who authored "Area 51," the “spaceship” that crashed at Roswell was actually a Soviet spy plane that came down during a storm.

Jacobsen says an impeccable source she worked with for 18 months while writing the book — a former engineer at Area 51 who saw the wreckage and the bodies - claims it was filled with bizarre looking, possibly genetically engineered and/or surgically altered child-sized pilots that were designed give the appearance of aliens — small bodied creatures with big heads and large eyes.

And what was behind the crash? Then Soviet leader Joseph Stalin was hoping, Jacobsen writes, that the news of a disc like UFO flying around in the sky would cause widespread panic in the U.S., as did the Orson Welles’ 1938 radio broadcast “War Of The Worlds.”

Stalin was said to be fascinated over how the broadcast caused panic among some Americans who actually believed the nation was under attack by aliens from outer space.

And it gets weirder. Those alien looking bodies were said to be scientific experiments created by the "Angel of Death," Nazi doctor Josef Mengele, for the USSR after the war.

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Wonder if he still gets his pension plan.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, May 18 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

This weeks dazzling musical theme is gems and jewelry, and we have a sparkling array of tunes to play.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

• Illustration Ryn Gargulinski
• PiRATe illustration from book 'Rats Incredible'

So they shot him.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, May 11 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

Trees, weeds, flowers and other foliage is once again our blooming theme—and don’t worry, we already played Tiny Tim’s “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” last week.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

In other news, I've just lost my last shred of hope for society. Bring on our ape overlords! I welcome your reign, Dr. Zaius!

The short answer, once again, is reality TV, that most reliable source for today's fastest rising names. Khloe Kardashian is part of America's most ubiquitous reality TV family, and over the past four years she has co-starred in four different TV series. But here's the rub: Khloe's two sisters, Kim and Kourtney, have enjoyed just as much publicity but haven't had the same meteoric effect on baby names. The number of babies named Kourtney only doubled over the past five years, and the number of Kims and Kimberlys actually fell.

So again: Why Khloe? The first place to look is generational trends. Parents today want names that feel fresh. Kimberly was one of the hottest names of the 1960s and '70s, and so by the time Kim Kardashian hit our TV screens, the popularity of that name had already fallen dramatically. Kourtney and Courtney didn't peak until the '90s—so they were a little less stale, but still well past their zenith. Chloe, though, was still on the upswing. Its popularity was rising every year, leaving the name well-balanced between fresh and familiar. And it provided an opportunity for creative spelling. Starting the name with a "K" gave it new appeal for parents with creative, contemporary tastes in names. (K is the consonant of choice for these namers, the types who choose Kamren over Cameron.)

[Slate]

Update with playlist and download at bottom of post

• Photo Ryn Gargulinski
• Hummer man would have a field day killing ducks at Fort Lowell Park.

That story and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, May 4 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is noon in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

In honor of spring being in full blossom, this week’s theme is songs that mention trees, weeds, flowers and other foliage.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

8:35 a.m.: Arrives at the office. Fills coffee cup. Enjoys the first sip of coffee. The highlight of the day.

8:56 a.m.: Calls wannabe prospective concert reviewer and tell him his services are not desired, in light of the fact that said wannabe prospective concert reviewer became verbally abusive with the Weekly World Central front-desk goddess, for no good reason, the day before.

9:03 a.m.: Get second cup of coffee.

10:42 a.m.: Receives phone call from a chemtrails conspiracy theorist. Unlike most chemtrails conspiracy theorists, this person is actually polite. She insists, however, that she's not a conspiracy theorist, and that soil samples from pristine areas prove that "they" are spraying us all with aluminum-chloro-whatever or something. When asked who "they" is, polite chemtrails conspiracy theorist says she doesn't know the answer to that, and concedes that she probably should have found that out before she called. Editor lets out a heavy yet silent sigh from the depths of what is left of his soul.

11:03 a.m.: Calls back a gentleman who called earlier in the morning and left a message on AHCCCS cuts. He is a single, childless man, and a former (perhaps current?) homeowner, upset about the fact that he has had to pay for everyone else's children to go to school all these years. He asks us to look into a theory that he says he has heard on talk radio: The government in Phoenix, you see, doesn't like "queers." And they figure that men, like the caller, who are single and childless must be queers, even though many of them, like the caller, are NOT queers. And that's why the government is freezing AHCCCS enrollment for childless, single adults ... they figure they're all queers, you see.

12:18 p.m.: Receives word from the assistant editor that a film-marketing company has received a credentials request from someone claiming to blog for the Tucson Weekly. However, nobody around Weekly World Central has heard of this alleged blogger, who reportedly told the film-marketing company he was working on a summer movie preview. Editor asks assistant editor to get contact info for the alleged blogger from the film-marketing company.

12:21 p.m.: Says "fuck it!" to dieting and heads across the street to Los Betos for a steak breakfast burrito.

12:48 p.m.: Returns to office and enjoys steak breakfast burrito, along with a third cup of coffee.

1:02 p.m.: Receives information from film-marketing company on alleged blogger. Calls alleged blogger and leaves a message.

1:35 p.m.: Receives phone call from alleged blogger. Alleged blogger seems very apologetic and a little freaked out, and says there must have been a misunderstanding. Alleged blogger insists he made it clear in his credentials request that he was blogging on his own, and NOT for the Weekly; he says he referred to the Weekly's summer movie preview only to show the style he was aiming for, in his own preview. Editor says he believes alleged blogger, and that he'll let film-marketing company know.

1:50 p.m.: E-mails film-marketing company and lets them know about conversation with alleged blogger.

2:02 p.m.: Receives e-mail response from film-marketing company—containing the actual credential-request form from alleged blogger. It's clear that alleged blogger was, in fact, claiming to be writing for the Tucson Weekly. What's left of editor's soul is officially declared dead.

2:30 p.m.: Realizes that he's been stood up by a prospective intern who was supposed to be coming in for an interview.

2:46 p.m.: After editing a few blog entries, editor starts to edit copy for next week's issue, seeing as the word "edit" is part of the title "editor."

2:49 p.m.: Decides he really does not want to edit Free Will Astrology, and decides to dream of bourbon instead.

3:06 p.m.: Starts writing a blog entry titled "A (Particularly Batshit) Day in the Life of an Altweekly Editor." Keeps dreaming of bourbon.

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