Alien Vs. Predator

Two movie franchises clash, and the result is staggeringly stupid. A prequel to the Alien series, and a sequel to the Predator films, it doesn’t even come close to the sense of dread and terror made famous in the source material. This should’ve been made as an R-rated movie, yet it is a soft PG-13, making it friendly for families and sneaky 12-year-olds everywhere. An expedition is lured to an outpost in Antarctica, where the dreaded predators await the hunt. A big mother alien is kept in frozen stasis and jolted back into birthing service every hundred years. The humans are used for their incubatory powers; the aliens burst from their chests; and the battle royale begins. The effects are, for the most part, piss poor, and none of the actors distinguish themselves ala Sigourney Weaver or Schwarzenegger. Piece o’ crap!