Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Bubble-gum chewing, starry-eyed Britney Spears and Hillary Duff wannabes, unite! Thanks to sophomore director Sara Sugarman, tweeners nationwide can put down their Seventeen magazines and flock to theaters for this superfluous adaptation of Dyan Sheldon’s book. Fresh off her Freaky Friday fame, Lindsay Lohan unsuccessfully tries to sustain her fleeting popularity with excessive over-acting that would make even Jim Carrey cringe. She stars as a daydreaming high-school student with Hollywood aspirations while she is stuck in New Jersey. Until Steven Spielberg comes a-knockin’, the prima donna uses her ridiculous flower-power fashion sense to battle Ms. Snob Supreme for the ultimate reputation, lusts after a brunette Fabio from her favorite rock band and embarrasses herself with her supposed talent in the high school play. Not only is Lohan’s performance an insult to acting, but so is Carol Kane’s as an old-school marm and Glenne Headley’s as the hippie mom. The only confession worth making here is this film is an utter disaster.