Constantine

Whoa! It’s Keanu Reeves as John Constantine, cynical, self-loathing, sophisticated Englishman. With Moms Mabley and Shemp Howard being dead, it’s hard to imagine that a worse casting decision could have been made. The story, about demons trying to stage a massive jail-break and turn Earth into the hell-hole that liberals and Christians already think it is, is done in by massive dumbing-down, though there are a few bright spots. Mostly, this winds up being a mediocre explosion-fest, which is too bad, because the source material is more about intellect and theological paradox than it is about killing things with giant, crucifix-shaped super-guns. At least its better than that adaptation of The Great Gatsby starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and a bazooka that shot ninjas on motorcycles.