Glitter

Mariah Carey's trend-sniffing move to become the next singer-turned-actress results in an ultra-sappy semi-biography that is as superficial as its title. Its oversimplified, fairyland fast track to stardom plays like football highlights for the music industry. After being raised in juke joints and abandoned by her drunken, single mom, the grown pop diva's character settles as a Playboy bunny backup singer for a pathetic Milli Vanilli act until her leather-clad Prince Charming makes her an instant star, complete with her own super-savvy music video and a bushy-haired publicist locked in hyper drive. Be sure not to blink through this unrealistic musical utopia, since you will miss a cursory love story, non-existent character development and a hopeless quest for Mommy Dearest, all thrown together by an editor with a nervous tick. But who am I kidding? Blink, sleep for all I care, since director Vondie Curtis Hall's Glitter is just a pile of litter.