Howl's Moving Castle

This next installment in the astonishing career of highly acclaimed writer/director Hayao Miyazaki, following the Oscar-winning Spirited Away of 2002, is an utter disappointment. Although the Japanime lives up to Miyazaki’s impeccable standards of impressive quality, the script does not. Based on a Diana Wynne Jones novel, this odyssey into the surreal follows a young hatmaker, Sophie, who becomes the random victim of the Wicked Witch of the Waste when she is turned into an old crone. Determined to reverse the curse, the now haggard-looking girl seeks refuge in the titular creaking house that inexplicably lumbers on four mechanical legs. A confusion of places and times ensues as the castle’s front door opens to any desired location; Sophie somehow changes ages from scene-to-scene; and Howl, a giant bird-man who looks like Orlando Bloom with his porcelain skin when not covered in gray feathers, tries to bring peace to the continuously warring kingdoms. The talents of the stellar cast of voices, from Billy Crystal to Lauren Bacall, are wasted, just like Miyazaki’s in this unfortunate let down.