Jack the Giant Slayer

Director Bryan Singer’s big-budget take on the classic fairy tale was delayed from last summer, and they should’ve left it in the vault. He’s put together a movie that lacks any real magic because the special effects are bad and the performances are mostly flat. Nicholas Hoult, so good in Warm Bodies, plays the title character, a farm boy who gets some magic beans, lets them get wet and … ah, you know. Stanley Tucci and Ewan McGregor have supporting roles in what amounts to a whole lot of nothing that cost lots of money. The budget is something in the neighborhood of $200 million, and that budget must’ve gone to Moon Pies for everybody, because it doesn’t show on the screen. Too bad, because I was just telling somebody a couple of months ago how the world could really use a good movie about giants getting hit with stuff. Actually, that’s not true. I’m totally lying.