Man of the House

An old-fashioned and monotone Texas Ranger guards five overly bubbly cheerleaders in director Stephen Herek’s one-note film reminiscent of the traditionally lame made-for-TV movies of the week. Tommy Lee Jones plays the cold-hearted cop who talks like he’s reading stereo instructions while protecting five witnesses of a back-alley murder. Unfortunately for Jones’ character and for viewers, these five calorie-counting, half-naked females with cell-phone dependency issues and IQs lower than their silicone-enhanced bra sizes have obnoxiously clichéd bimbette qualities and pain-inducing on-screen performances. What may even be more unfortunate is Cedric the Entertainer’s embarrassing portrayal as a male cheerleader-turned-man-of-the-cloth. Don’t waste your pep and cheer on this guaranteed loser.