Mother of Tears

Director Dario Argento squirts out a half-assed effort with this silly horror story. Asia Argento plays Sarah Mandy, an archaeologist who accidentally unleashes an evil spirit upon Rome. When people go mad in the streets, and a coven of witches dressed like extras from a Scorpions video show up, Sarah must use her secret magic powers to, I don’t know, defeat Voldemort or something. Mostly, Mother of Tears is dull; it even includes a long sequence of someone reading a book. But it’s occasionally bad enough to be funny, so if you’re into that (i.e., if you’re really stoned and between 18 and 24 years of age), check it out.