Season of the Witch

Nicolas Cage looks lost, confused and embarrassed in Dominic Sena’s woozy misfire about a couple of knights during the Crusades who are escorting a possible witch to what probably isn’t going to be a fair trial. While Cage has turned out a couple of decent films lately (Kick-Ass, Bad Lieutenant), here, he phones his lines in with the enthusiasm of a dead donkey. He does achieve what seemed to be an impossible task: He wears his worst hairpiece ever. The movie is flat, horribly scripted and often unintentionally funny. There’s a big finale involving some sort of gargoyle-looking demon thing—and, I must admit, I almost got into it. Then the monster spoke, and it sounded like an angry Muppet. People in the theater laughed hard. They weren’t supposed to.