Speed Racer

The summer movie season has its first bona fide bomb with this big-screen update of the strange cartoon. The Wachowski brothers cast Emile Hirsch as the lead character, and that’s about all they do right. The movie is a disjointed mess, a constant barrage of uninteresting computer animation that makes the action hard to follow. The plot involves Speed Racer’s family trying to avoid evil corporate sponsorship and remain a family racing organization. That’s right: It’s a family film about the evils of corporate sponsorship. You know these kids today: They can’t get enough of that corporate world shit! The best thing about the movie is the chimp, who is pretty gosh-darned cute. Otherwise, Speed Racer is an unholy mess.